


slutville, population two

by dayevsphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayevsphil/pseuds/dayevsphil
Summary: Dan and Phil both have reputations for sleeping around. Their friends don't think they could hold down a relationship if they wanted to. Sounds like a challenge to them.In Dan's defense, tequila makes anything seem like a good idea.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 510
Kudos: 866





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags will continue to be added as we go along, i'll make sure to include it in the notes as well if i add anything important. there's a bit of (extremely minor and not celebrated) slut-shaming in this story and the word 'slut' is obviously used quite a bit, so exercise caution if that bothers you.
> 
> see you next thursday!

Dan blamed tequila.

There were a lot of other factors, sure, but it was hard to place blame on anything else. His friends' jokes were in reaction to Phil's eyebrows, and Phil's eyebrows had gotten expressive in reaction to Dan's neck, and Dan's neck wouldn't have gotten marked up without the bottle of tequila that had been passed around.

Tequila had gotten poured on the sensitive dip of Dan's throat and someone's teeth had come into play when they took the shot off him. He had never been one to shy away from attention like that, even in more or less polite company, so obviously he tangled his fingers in the guy's hair and made some kind of breathy noise that was maybe half genuine. When he'd sat up and hopped off the breakfast bar, intending on sidling closer and maybe finding a private corner to continue what the guy started, he'd caught Phil's eye.

Phil had been lounging in an armchair in the corner, doing his usual routine of surveying the room while chatting to their friends. Dan always thought he looked like he was hunting something when he did that. His big eyes had found Dan and then his sharp eyebrows had done something very pointed.

Dan probably could have just ignored it and gone off into that corner anyway, but he'd had a significant amount of tequila himself. It had seemed like it was more important to join his friends in the lounge and see if they were gossiping about him.

"Nice to meet you," Dan had said, giving the guy a cheeky sort of smile and ignoring the annoyed huff of a noise he got in return. He'd been called a tease enough times that it didn't bother him anymore to walk away whenever he felt like it.

And of course he felt like it. He'd walked away because he needed to know what was being said that made Phil smirk like that.

The party was small and tolerable, but Dan hadn't actually known most of the people there. His small group of friends tended to stick to themselves - and so did he, when he wasn't feeling heat under his skin from alcohol and the sensation of a stranger's teeth on his neck - so they were always a safe place to retreat to when he got bored.

He and Phil were friends. Good friends, since he was a lot more fun to talk to than most of the other people Dan had met since getting to Manchester. But Phil's eyebrows and smirk getting involved was never anything but a challenge. They had most of the same friends, too, and those were the people that had to deal with Dan and Phil's sniping. Consensual banter, Dan called it. Not like Phil was an actual rival in any way. He and Dan were just a lot alike.

Too much alike, some might have said.

"You've got something," Phil had said, gesturing at the hollow of his own throat. Dan's fuzzy brain caught on the attention drawn to Phil's prominent Adam's apple for a moment. It had been somewhat of an effort to look away.

"Jealous?" Dan had asked. It was his usual retort when Phil teased him for being a bit of a slut. Pot, kettle.

Phil had snorted. "Hardly. You don't even know that guy, he could have been, like, a serial killer or someone who does ASMR or something."

"Sorry," said Dan. He'd perched on the arm of the sofa and leaned into Michelle's personal space to stage whisper, "Not all of us can fuck our way through everyone we already know."

"You're both awful," Michelle had said dryly, pushing Dan lightly away from her again. "And you smell disgusting."

Dan had purposefully breathed on her face to make her smell the tequila on his breath and she'd shoved him properly onto the floor. His friends laughed at the familiar display, all too used to Dan prodding at buttons until someone got tired of him.

"Don't lump me in with him."

"No, you're both awful," Michelle reiterated.

The conversation around Dan's dating life always tended to end with his friends making fun of him. He was as used to it as they were to his class clown attitude, but sometimes he felt a bit defensive when he heard the very real judgement in the sharp edges of their jokes. Michelle and Ollie tossed names back and forth, and Dan recognised the list as people Phil had hooked up with at some point.

He'd been on the receiving end of that specific teasing a few times, but it was different - their friends didn't usually know _names_ of Dan's hookups. He would get a list of locations he'd defiled instead.

"Oh, come on," Jaya had said. She tended to stay out of the bickering until she wanted to see it escalate, so Dan had waited suspiciously until she added, "It's not their fault that neither of them can keep a man. We should just be grateful they don't overlap fuckboys."

"That's not fair," said Ollie. "I think it's obvious that Dan and Phil _are_ the fuckboys."

"We're sitting right here," Phil had said, but he hadn't sounded very optimistic about getting left alone. "And I haven't even done anything."

"Yet," said Dan.

Phil's lips had twitched like he'd wanted to grin or scowl, but he hadn't made up his mind which one. He and Dan were never exactly judgemental of each other - not on purpose, anyway. Automatic reactions were harder to control. The thing was, Dan wasn't about to get dragged down without taking the other slut in their group down with him.

"Fine, yet," Phil had conceded. "But who cares?"

"Not hurting anyone," Dan agreed.

"Tell that to Chuck," Michelle said, a bit less teasing than she'd been before. There was a new edge to her voice, the same one that tended to make an appearance whenever someone reminded her of Phil sleeping with her brother. Dan looked between them like he was watching a tennis match.

"I never hurt Chuck."

"Didn't you?"

"He knew that I - you know what, I don't have to explain myself to you."

"I'm his sister, you bloody well -"

"This argument has gotten boring," Jaya had said. There was visible relief in their loose circle, since all of them had been present for a shouting match or two once Michelle started drinking. Phil had never really shouted back, but then again, Phil never really got angry like that. Dan had only ever seen him get coolly defensive and maybe even hurt, once or twice. He wasn't the type to yell. "Chuck's a grownup, Chelle, he's allowed to make his own stupid decisions."

"Hey," Phil had said mildly.

"What? It was a stupid decision. It's not like you - or you, for that matter," Jaya added, pointing an accusatory sort of finger at Dan, "have ever had a relationship that lasted more than, like, a long weekend."

It was true, at least since Dan had moved to Manchester. He wasn't very interested in defending himself, but he could see that it was getting to Phil. Maybe it was just the harsh way Michelle always got when she talked about her brother's fling with Phil, but he didn't like seeing one of his best friends squirming like that.

Dan sat up a bit straighter and shrugged. "That's because we don't want to."

"No," Ollie had chimed in. "I think it's that you _can't_."

If Dan had still been looking at Phil, he might have seen resolve come over him or whatever. But he hadn't been paying attention, because Michelle had pulled at one of his curls and he'd had to try and steal her drink in retaliation. So he didn't know that there was something turning the cogs in Phil's brain, nor that he'd be dragged into it. Once he learned, though, he knew exactly what to blame: tequila.

\--

Dan hung out with his friends for a while longer, but his bladder started to scold him before long. He excused himself and started winding his way through the small, increasingly drunk groups of people staggered around the flat. He tried to remember whose party this was, but he wasn't overly bothered when he couldn't. At least it wasn't out of control. Most people let Dan pass without trying to drag him into arguments or shots or a nearby closet.

Before Dan could lock the bathroom door behind him, the handle turned. He had a joke on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it when Phil let himself in. It was clear that he was following Dan, not drunkenly stumbling into the loo like Dan had expected.

"Er, hi," said Dan.

Phil locked the door and turned to the mirror, making a face at the state of his fringe. "Hey. I need to talk to you."

"And it couldn't wait?" Dan gestured around them like it had somehow escaped Phil's notice that they were in a bathroom together. "I don't usually piss with an audience, bub."

"Hold it, don't, I don't really care," said Phil.

"So not the point."

"Does it bother you when they talk about us like that?" Phil asked, messing around with his hair in a way that Dan recognized as a nervous tic they shared. He knew that Phil wasn't a huge fan of parties - none of them were - and their friends' jokes had probably brought that anxiety back in full force. Dan had seen the way it was getting to Phil out in the lounge, and he had to bite down the automatic snipes about their friends being completely right. The last thing he needed to do was make Phil feel even worse when they were drinking and surrounded by strangers.

Dan shrugged. He hoped that Phil would be distracted enough by his own hair to ignore Dan's button fly popping open, because Dan had had a lot to drink and kind of desperately needed to take a leak. Phil's lack of reaction to the situation was good, it helped Dan think of this as something normal. "I guess. Sometimes. I think it bothers you more."

"Probably," said Phil. "But I think it's fucked of them to say that we couldn't hold down a relationship if we wanted to, y'know? I totally could."

"So could I," Dan agreed. Not that he wanted to, but Dan had been in a long relationship before. He flushed the toilet and bumped Phil away from the sink with his hip so he could wash his hands.

"We should," Phil started, and then stopped. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, sliding it open to check texts or the time or something, maybe just so he'd have something else to look at than Dan's face when he kept talking. "Like, okay. It would be too obvious if we did it tonight, but we should hook up."

Of all the things that Dan had expected to come out of his friend's mouth, that was pretty low on the list. He blinked at his own reflection, at Phil over his shoulder, but Phil still wasn't looking at him. "Excuse me?"

"I mean pretend to hook up," said Phil. "Obviously."

"Oh, sure. Obviously. Not like I'd be the first mate you got off with."

Phil looked up from his phone to give Dan a dour sort of look in the mirror. "What I mean is, they're wrong about us. But I don't actually want to try and date someone. We should disappear at the next party together and then just keep, y'know, 'seeing' each other. To prove them wrong."

It was a stupid idea, but Dan was a pretty big fan of most stupid ideas. He'd stumbled into enough of them in his nineteen years to be thrilled instead of cautious when an opportunity presented itself to make a fool out of himself and the people around him. Because his friends _would_ look like fools if they managed to pull this off. Dan couldn't pretend like he hadn't heard Ollie's statement as a bit of a challenge, but he hadn't given much thought to it himself. He wasn't exactly tripping over himself to find someone to spend the rest of his life with.

He knew that Phil felt more or less the same way towards relationships as he did, and he also knew that they had very different reasons for feeling that way. This proposition was most likely the closest to commitment that Phil had ever entertained.

"Pretend we're together," Dan summed up. "For how long?"

"I don't know," Phil said, looking back at his phone as if it would have any answers for him. Dan bet that if Phil had internet access on his phone he'd be Googling how long the average relationship lasted.

Taking pity on him, Dan answered his own question. "I'll do it for a month."

"Isn't that, I dunno," Phil said uncertainly, "not very long?"

"It is for you," said Dan. He started messing with his fringe, trying to get it to fall as effortlessly as Phil's managed to. There were a lot of things about Phil that Dan wasn't jealous of, but his hair had never been one of those things. Dan had been tempted to bring a whole photo of Phil to his hairdresser before. "And you know we won't be able to see other people if you want this to be believable, so. Do you really want to give up sex for longer than a month?"

The expression that flashed across Phil's face convinced Dan that he hadn't actually thought this through at all. Then, his shoulders squared out of determination or stubbornness or some combination of the two.

"A month," Phil agreed. "All we really have to do is spend more time together. I guess I could sleep over, too, so Jaya can see us."

"Doesn't sound like it'll suck," said Dan. He and Phil had always got on, it wasn't going to be a hardship for them to ditch their friends and hookups in lieu of each other for a few short weeks. Dan made the executive, slightly drunk decision to spend a chunk of his paycheck on something that would make _not_ getting laid more bearable. Something battery-powered, maybe.

"Thanks."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Dan snorted. He checked his teeth to see if he had anything stuck between them. "I better find tequila shot guy if I'm going to be someone's boyfriend next week."

Phil laughed and shoved at Dan's shoulder, practically pushing him out the door. His entire posture had relaxed, and Dan wondered if helping his friend out like this would still seem worth it when he was sober.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. chicken, puddle, andrea, and jude have been putting up with me for so long over this story, and now you all get to read it too! please let me know your thoughts so far, it's definitely a new direction for me.
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/617453371508523008/slutville-population-two-1)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the overwhelming support of this new wip!! because of how long this week has felt and how short these chapters are (in comparison to my usual, anyway), i'll be updating this on thursdays **and** sundays!
> 
> see you on sunday!

The trek up to his third-floor flat after a slightly awkward morning in someone else's bed was such a familiar one that Dan could probably do it with his eyes closed. He had his keys out of his bag before he consciously thought to do so. He kicked his shoes off at the door and met his reflection's eyes in the hallway mirror.

There was a level of disconnect between the way he felt and the way he looked in that moment. His eyes were a bit sunken with lack of sleep, his face pale with the lingering nausea of a tequila hangover, his clothes rumpled from being carelessly heaped onto a stranger's floor; and yet all he had was a deep sense of contentment and satisfaction from a night well spent. He knew that he might start to feel that sense of shame that was supposed to envelop him at some point in his life, but he was nowhere near that.

He'd had regrettable encounters with men - and women, when he was still figuring things out back home - but he didn't _regret_ the way he had eschewed normal dating the past year or so. Ever since he and Valerie broke up, he'd had a whole heap of relationship issues that he wouldn't be figuring out without a therapist that he couldn't afford.

Jaya was in their small, dim kitchen, clearing up some dishes from whatever she'd had for breakfast. She gave him a warm smile.

"Hey," she said, turning off the faucet. "You look a little rough."

"I don't feel it," said Dan. He smiled back at her and got comfortable on one of their rickety chairs with only a little bit of a wince. "Well, okay, physically I've been better. But I feel... good. Y'know?"

"I know," said Jaya, reaching out to pat the curling mess of his hair.

With a huff of a laugh, Dan batted at her hand and ducked away. "Oh, c'mon, you don't know. You all think I'm a complete whore."

Jaya sat down beside him. Her own hair was held back from her face with a bright scrunchie, and the combination of pyjamas and bare-faced sincerity made her seem so much more approachable than she did when they were all going out.

"We make jokes," she admitted, "but none of us are judging you, Dan."

He knew that she probably believed that, but Dan had been friends with the group for long enough to know when there was real feeling behind their jabs. Even if Jaya didn't have anything against the way Dan lived his life, he'd seen the genuine irritation in Michelle's eyes when she looked at Phil and the sharpness of Ollie's smile whenever he teased Dan.

There was bitterness there, he knew. Michelle was still angry about Phil hooking up with her younger brother, and Ollie was probably still a little miffed about Dan rejecting him a few months back.

Ollie was a good guy. He was funny and cute and just enough of an asshole for Dan to get along with, but he wasn't hookup material. Even if Dan did have a habit of sleeping with his friends, he wouldn't have agreed to drinks alone at Ollie's place. He'd been so certain that he'd have to break Ollie's heart that he hadn't even thought twice about saying no.

"I know _you're_ not," Dan said, allowing the slight emphasis that made it clear what he thought about everyone else's opinion on the matter.

"As long as you're happy and not hurting anyone," said Jaya, "then it's nobody's business what you do."

Dan squeezed her hand on the surface of their tiny wooden table. They'd moved in together when they barely knew each other, Dan having just dropped out without a place to stay and Jaya out of a fresh breakup, but it had worked out nicely so far.

"Thanks," he said, quiet. He wondered if he should be feeling some type of guilt over what he and Phil were planning to do. Would Jaya feel betrayed by Dan pulling the wool over her eyes? Would Ollie think it was a slight about him, that Dan would go home with Phil but not with him? But this wasn't about their feelings, and it definitely wasn't about Dan's. This was about Phil. 

Phil always cared so much more about what their friends thought of them. And if Phil wanted to lie to them to prove a point, Dan wasn't about to go back on his word.

\--

"You think they can tell what we're doing yet?"

Phil's eyes looked darker in the low light, and he was close enough that Dan could see the individual colours swirling in them. They'd taken up roost at the breakfast bar at a friend of a friend's party, which was in full swing and much louder than the last one they'd gone to. Dan had been spinning on one of the stools, drinking his own alcoholic concoctions and waiting for Phil to come to him. He'd gotten well past tipsy and was a little bit dizzy by the time Phil came over, ostensibly to get a refill of his own drink. They'd exchanged a couple offhand comments and now they were here, Phil leaning against the breakfast bar with a very familiar smirk playing on his lips.

As many times as Dan had seen Phil do this dance, he'd never been on the receiving end of it. He had to admit that it was effective, that he'd leaned into it when Phil's hand settled on his knee before he'd even thought about how it would look to an outsider. Phil's thumb was still playing with the rip at Dan's thigh, and the combination of touch and Malibu were really helpful for getting Dan in the right mindset.

"I mean, your hand is on my leg," Dan grinned. With his friends he tended to let his smile go goofy and wide, but he kept it sharp for this. He wasn't an amateur by any means, but they'd agreed that Phil would have to be the one to make the first move.

Phil was, after all, the one who had a reputation of hooking up with his friends and acquaintances. Dan didn't really understand that. It was hard enough for Dan to make friends when he moved to Manchester, and he had never understood why Phil would happily risk something so important just to get his dick wet. They'd been friends for almost a year now, and Dan couldn't remember a single time that Phil had gone home with a total stranger.

"That doesn't really mean anything, I touch my friends' legs all the time," said Phil. He used his hold on Dan's thigh to spread it from the other and sway closer, stepping between Dan's knees like this was a totally normal thing to do. "Now, this isn't something I'd do with my friends."

"Really?" Dan murmured. He licked his lips and suppressed a cackle when Phil's gaze predictably dropped. "I see you do this with your friends an awful lot."

"You're a dick," Phil said, but in that fond sort of way that usually meant he was going to give Dan some of his crisps anyway.

Dan tilted his head back when he laughed. It was a controlled motion, one that usually had a guy's mouth on his neck within mere minutes, and it had the added bonus of showing off the nearly-healed love bite that had started this whole situation. "Look, I'm just saying," he said as he met Phil's eyes again, "that the only difference here is that I'm not sleeping with you when we go home together."

"Yeah, you're taking the couch," said Phil.

"I don't think so. I'm the guest, that means I get your weirdly good mattress."

With a huff of laughter that sounded far more giggly than it did seductive, Phil came closer to talk directly in Dan's ear. "Play you for it."

Dan's hand came up to his shoulder on instinct, holding him there loosely, and he chanced a glance to where they'd left their friends. Luckily, they seemed like they were fully aware of what Dan and Phil were doing. If they'd been putting on this show only for Ollie to distract everyone with a story about work, then Dan would have been pretty annoyed. Michelle looked unsurprisingly disapproving, Ollie seemed like he thought the whole thing was funny, and Jaya didn't seem to be able to keep her eyes on the two of them for longer than a couple of seconds at a time.

It had been a long time since Dan had been in a position to properly _act_. He had always wanted to be an actor, but things like that weren't exactly easy to stumble into. So maybe he went a little overboard when he let his eyes flutter closed and gave a breathless little giggle. Phil was still right in his space, though, and he was hoping that his friends would be more focused on the picture as a whole than on Dan's melodrama.

"Only if we play Mario Kart," Dan whispered. It was one of the only games that he was a hundred percent certain that he could beat Phil in, and Phil's sigh in his ear seemed to prove that.

"Alright, fine," said Phil as he pulled back. Dan's whole body felt like it was covered in goosepimples the way it often did when he was drunk and had a guy's hands on him, and he couldn't stop himself from following Phil forward a bit. Phil smiled, right on that edge of sharpness that Dan recognised in himself. "You want to get out of here?"

Phil said it loud enough that the people around them could hear, even if their friends couldn't, and Dan had to give him props for that. Neither of them were particularly popular, but almost everyone at this party knew _of_ them in some way. The overlapping of friend groups was always confusing to Dan, since he had never exactly been someone with a heap of people who liked him, but it was useful in this situation. The gossip network would get that line back to their friends even though they were too far away to hear it right now. By this time tomorrow, Dan expected he'd be fielding a bunch of questions in his texts.

"Fuck yeah," Dan said, smiling wide enough to show off his dimples. He hoped that his enthusiasm, too, would make it back to their friends.

It was kind of fun, actually. They didn't hold hands or plaster themselves all over each other or anything. They didn't have to. In the couple dozen gatherings they'd attended together, they had never left alone together before.

Dan made eye contact with Jaya on his way out the door, and he gave her a sheepish sort of wave. A familiar one, something he'd done a hundred times before when he was silently letting her know that she wouldn't have to wait for him in order to leave. Jaya never really looked bothered by it. She was cool that way.

This time, it looked like it bothered her. Maybe she was bothered by who he was leaving with.

\--

It was well past a decent time to go to sleep by the time Dan finished thrashing Phil at Mario Kart. Phil made a bunch of excuses for his shitty playing and even tried to distract Dan by tickling his ribs once or twice, but Dan was far enough ahead every time that it didn't even matter. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder on Phil's sofa, only the television and a Kirby lamp in the corner lighting the tiny flat.

"C'mon, one more game," Phil whined.

"I'm already winning twelve to three," said Dan. He put the controller on Phil's cluttered coffee table and stretched his legs out from where they've been tucked up underneath him. "You really think you're going to be able to make that skew in your favour?"

"All or nothing," said Phil.

"Not on your fucking life," said Dan, laughing despite himself. "I get the bed, fair and square."

"And you're sure you won't share?"

Dan shoved at Phil's shoulder before standing up and stretching again. They'd been pretzeled on the sofa for more hours than Dan's inflexible body was happy about. He noticed the way Phil's eyes lingered on whatever skin or pants went on display when Dan's shirt rode up, and that helped strengthen his resolve. They'd both been drinking and neither of them was especially known for their impulse control, and Dan wasn't about to make _two_ big mistakes in one night.

Granted, he couldn't be _certain_ that pretending to be in a relationship with Phil would be a mistake, but he had a pretty good guess about it.

"I'm not sharing," Dan said, swallowing hard when Phil's eyes met his own again. "If it really bugs you, I don't mind taking the couch."

Phil sighed. "No, no, you're right. You got it fair and square. Let me just get my pillow and change, and then my room is all yours." He stood up and then paused, still a bit too close for Dan's total comfort. "You do know that we'll have to sleep together when we go to your place, right? Jaya will notice if one of us is on the couch."

"So maybe we should appreciate not sharing space for a few more hours," Dan countered. His pulse was picking up speed, just a bit, but he wasn't about to get into it with Phil right now. Maybe not ever.

"Okay, yeah," Phil laughed. "That's true. Okay. Be right back."

Being left alone with his thoughts and the Mario Kart menu music wasn't exactly fun, but Dan wasn't about to turn his phone back on until he was sober and had some pancakes in him. That was always the best part about crashing at Phil's - the man's insistence that pancakes were the only proper thing to eat after a night of drinking. Normally there was at least one other person here with them, though. That wasn't something done intentionally, it just seemed to happen that way. It wasn't like Dan avoided being alone with Phil.

At least, he didn't do that anymore.

Last year he was new to the city, newly single, hating his program choice, and Phil was a helpful library worker at the uni. Phil still worked there now, but Dan had long since dropped out. The only good thing he got from university was Phil and the small gaggle of people who would come and bother Phil after most people had already left.

Technically it had been Jaya he spoke to first, who had pulled him into the group, but it was Phil's smile and bright eyes that had gotten Dan coming back to the library long after he'd given up on his program.

He didn't still have that crush or anything, but Dan wasn't about to get crowded into a double bed with the guy while they were drunk if he didn't have to. That wasn't something he trusted himself _or_ Phil not to take advantage of.

Dan felt vindicated by his shrewd thoughts when he'd stripped down to his pants and buried his face in one of Phil's pillows, because his drunken brain was connected to his dick in a way that it wasn't when he was sober. He inhaled the smell of _boy_ and then groaned, rolling onto his back. He couldn't keep pressing his crotch into the mattress or he'd have a very hard-to-explain mess to clean up.

An entire month of this. He was going to have to deal with the weird residual crush-like feelings every time he and Phil spent a significant amount of time together for a _month_. He knew that he could still back down, but he'd already agreed. He'd need a pretty damn good reason to leave Phil in the lurch for this mission of proving their friends wrong, and he was pretty sure that 'I realised you're going to make me hard if I'm not getting that energy out somewhere' wasn't going to lead anywhere fun.

It wasn't just the way that his bedding smelled or the way his mattress felt; the whole room was absolutely drenched in Phil, all the sort of knick-knacks and posters and stuffed animals that Dan would have in his own room if he had any sort of decorating budget. Even with the lights off, Dan could still feel his presence. It was in the dog-eared novels on his nightstand and the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. It was everywhere.

Dan threw an arm dramatically over his eyes even though nobody was present for his despair. He did his best to keep his thoughts away from Phil while he was surrounded by the guy and, eventually, fell into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thank you as always to my small army of betas who are making sure i stop fucking up tenses and i keep everything on track!!!!! honestly this wouldn't exist without y'all. and another huge thank you to all of you for reading and commenting and kudosing, it makes me so excited to explore this universe when others are excited about it too! ♥
> 
> reblog this chapter on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/618091939473113088/slutville-population-two-2)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're all so kind!! please continue letting me know if you enjoy this ♥
> 
> see you on thursday!

Waking up in Phil's bed was even more disorienting than falling asleep in it. Dan didn't remember his dreams or anything, but they must have been pretty good. When he came to, his cock was demanding attention where it was pressed against Phil's soft sheets. It wasn't just regular morning hardness - he was already leaking at the tip and desperate to let his twitching hips rut forward. Being surrounded by Phil wasn't helping. Dan didn't think that it was the _reason_ , exactly, but it definitely wasn't _helping_.

With great effort, Dan pulled himself away from Phil's mattress and stretched his arms above his head. He could just ignore it until it went away, but that was never quite as satisfying. He grabbed a towel from the back of Phil's door and draped it strategically over his arm.

Luckily, Phil was still sound asleep. His soft snores were filling the small flat and his leg had somehow gotten hooked over the back of the couch in sleep. 

Dan breathed a sigh of relief and let himself into Phil's bathroom. It was both cleaner and more cluttered than Dan and Jaya's, just like every other room in their respective flats, and Dan checked out bottle labels while he waited for the shower spray to heat up. He helped himself to a body wash that was nearly full and smelled like mint chocolate, because as nice as it would be to use Phil's usual products, he never could resist a nice smell.

The shower was slightly too small for _one_ person, but a well-used bottle of lube still hung in the shower caddy. Benefits of living alone, Dan supposed, but he hadn't seen any lube hanging out in the bedroom.

Maybe Phil had cleared up anything incriminating in his room before letting Dan sleep there. Maybe he only had it out where his sleepover guests wouldn't have to look at it. Maybe he just liked getting off in the shower instead of in a nice, comfy bed.

"Whatever," Dan said to himself, reaching for the lube. "Not your business."

The water felt incredible on Dan's skin, and he wasn't about to let the creeping questions of Phil's sex life distract him from his goal. It didn't escape his notice that he hadn't flagged at all during his musing, but that was normal. The mental image of Phil wrapping a hand around his dick and bracing himself against the tiled wall with the other wasn't a _bad_ one. Dan might have lingered on it for a bit too long while he started lazily stroking himself, but he didn't have to answer to anyone in here. He made his mind drift away from Phil, closing his eyes to make it easier on himself. He felt as surrounded by Phil here as he had in the bedroom.

Dan's cock was already so hard. He tried not to think about Phil, but he wasn't sure that he succeeded. He bounced between a dozen different fantasies as he fucked into his slick fist, biting his lip so that he didn't make echoey noises that might be heard outside the door. Either the threat of Phil hearing him now or the way he could practically _hear_ the noises Phil would make was enough to push Dan over the edge. He came down Phil's drain and then kept playing with himself until it started to hurt.

There was no shame in Dan's mind. He knew it wasn't the most normal thing in the world, but he wasn't good at denying himself things that felt good. And, honestly, he didn't see the point. He grabbed the body wash, humming something that had gotten stuck in his head at the party.

\--

Pancakes always tasted better when Phil made them. Dan spent the morning teasing him for how much syrup he put on his own stack and helping clean the kitchen. He could have spent all day there, hiding from the rest of the world and staying where he felt safest, but both of them had work that afternoon. 

Phil still worked at the university library, helping idiot kids like Dan figure out how they were supposed to cite boring texts in papers they didn't give a shit about. Dan, on the other hand, had been working part-time retail jobs ever since he dropped out. He kept hoping for some kind of improvement like a raise or more hours or _something_ , but if he was honest with himself, he didn't really work hard enough to justify that.

At least he kind of liked the place he was working now. His friends made fun of him for bringing home clothes and accessories from the Gucci outlet when he still didn't have a bedframe, but hey, he got a discount. A small one, sure, but a discount nonetheless, and Dan liked having nice things that he could bring out for shitty house parties.

After painstakingly straightening his hair with Phil's shitty iron, Dan borrowed one of Phil's nicer shirts so that he wouldn't have to go to work smelling like Malibu and sweat. He didn't ask permission, but Phil only grinned and buttoned up Dan's top button for him when he emerged with it.

"You look nice," Phil teased, his fingers brushing Dan's neck just above the collar of his borrowed shirt. It felt deliberate, but there was no way for Dan to be sure.

"Bet I look like a dork with it all buttoned," said Dan.

"That's the way you're supposed to wear them," Phil said, his lips twitching. He smoothed the material out over Dan's shoulders, hands lingering in a way that Dan knew he'd have to get used to over the course of this act. "Besides, you've still got a hickey. Don't think the rich old ladies you sell purses to would appreciate that."

Dan laughed. "I don't exclusively sell purses to old ladies. I'm just really good at selling purses to old ladies."

"It's the dimples," Phil said with a sage nod. He reached up and pinched at Dan's soft cheek, making ridiculous cooing noises as he did. "They're just so darned cute."

"Shut up," Dan grinned, batting at Phil's hands. "Stop _touching_ me."

"I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, aren't I?" Phil hummed. He smacked Dan's hands right back, like they were playing Red Hands instead of just being dorks in Phil's narrow hallway. Dan grabbed at his hands and squeezed them, holding them away from his face and neck and shoulders. Phil smiled up at him with more than a hint of irony. "Or whatever. So you should probably get used to it."

"Fine, whatever," said Dan. He pressed his lips to the top of Phil's head and stepped away. It was nothing more than he'd do with any of his friends, but his pulse still managed to pick up at the amused surprise on Phil's face. He was glad that neither of them were known for public displays of affection outside of purposeful, casual touches, because he didn't think he'd be able to do this if he had to snog Phil in order for people to believe it.

"You wanna do dinner after work?" Phil asked, shoving his hands backwards into his jean pockets. He seemed to be at a loss about what to do with them when he couldn't be poking at Dan. "That's something people do when they're dating, right? Dinner?"

With a huff of a laugh, Dan nodded. "Think that's the big one, mate. Could see a movie after if you really wanted to drive the point home."

"Nah," said Phil. "Don't want to play all our cards at once."

\--

The texts that Dan went through on the bus to work all had the same tone: weirdly concerned. He hadn't been expecting that from his friends. He'd expected jokes and biting commentary, not questions about whether or not he was okay. It almost made him feel affronted on Phil's behalf, like they thought he was being cruel or manipulative in some way to Dan just because he was older and didn't go for strangers. Dan wondered if the messages indicated a lack of respect for his own free will, a deep distrust of Phil, or some kind of insight into Dan's past feelings that he didn't really want advertised. If he had to deal with his friends all knowing that he used to have a tiny crush on Phil, he was going to camp out in the storeroom at work. The last thing he needed was for one of them to 'just make sure he was okay with this' in front of Phil.

Besides. They didn't know that this wasn't meant to be a one-time thing. Dan thought that their attitude would probably change when it became clear that he and Phil hadn't had a typical one night stand. At the very least, he expected that there would be more confusion than concern.

Dan wasn't sure _how_ to respond to any of the texts, so he didn't.

\--

"This isn't as weird as I thought it would be."

"We've had dinner together like a hundred times, Phil. I doubt it would be weird even if we slept together for real and we were having an awkward day after."

Phil giggled with his tongue trapped between his teeth, and Dan regretted joking about sex. It wasn't that sex made him uncomfortable in any way - quite the opposite, really. Dan often felt as though it was everyone else who was uncomfortable with it. The problem was the visuals his imagination kept providing him whenever he thought about a universe where he'd had sex with Phil last night.

"That's what we're saying happened," said Phil. He reached over to steal a couple of Dan's chips, and it seemed incomprehensible to Dan that he didn't dip them in any of the available sauces surrounding their plates before popping them in his mouth. "So that's what this is supposed to be, right?"

"Right," Dan agreed. "This is us talking about how last night was great, but we aren't looking for a relationship."

"So what changes with us?" Phil asked. His foot knocked against Dan's under the tiny table, and Dan couldn't be sure if it was purposeful or just a consequence of two stretched-out idiots sharing a small space.

"What changes with you," Dan corrected him, hooking his ankle over Phil's. Phil's lips curved into a little smile, and Dan wondered how much Phil _knew_. He was sure that he hadn't exactly been subtle about thinking Phil was hot, back in the day. The thought made him want to hide in the loo until he was sure that he wasn't blushing. Still, it was just as likely that Phil was oblivious. Maybe he was smiling because of the stupid game of footsie. "I just mean, I've been in relationships before."

"One relationship," said Phil.

"Fuck off," Dan said mildly. He pulled Phil's soda towards himself and toyed with the straw as he thought it over. "That's double what you've had, isn't it. So it's you that has to figure out what changes. I'm personally open to having another relationship down the line, once I'm done having fun and, like, find someone I trust enough."

"Hard to find someone you trust when you only let men take you home if they don't already know your name."

Dan kicked Phil's shin hard enough to make him wince and smiled innocently. "Oops. Leg spasm."

"Sure," said Phil, clearly fighting a grin of his own. He took his drink back from Dan.

"Maybe that's why this is supposed to be different for me," Dan said, tapping a tune out on the old wooden table. "Because I know you and I already like you. I mean, most of the time, I like you. So there's trust there. And maybe that's what I'm telling you right now, on our awkward day after a one night stand. Maybe I'm saying that you're the first person I've slept with in a long, long time who I actually care about." His pulse picked up a little bit and he hoped that he wasn't flushing pink. The last thing he needed was Phil teasing him for being too invested or something. "And, er, that's when you say...?"

For a long and very anxiety-inducing moment, Phil was silent. His face betrayed nothing, as per usual, and Dan found that it was best to dig his teeth into his lower lip to stop himself from talking himself into an even deeper grave. Then, Phil hummed.

"I'd say," he said slowly, "that I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

Phil's lips quirked into something like a sardonic smile. "You."

Dan couldn't help but laugh. "You think I'm scary? Me?"

"Yeah," said Phil, still smiling in that way that didn't reach his eyes. "Terrifying."

"Why'd you sleep with me if I'm so scary?" Dan asked. He wasn't sure if Phil was expressing an actual emotion he'd had or one that he was making up on the spot, but he needed to remind _himself_ that this wasn't a conversation about their actual feelings before his imagination got out of control.

"Oh, that's a gimme." Phil grinned wide. He leaned a bit closer to Dan over the table so he could stage-whisper, "You're hot, and it's pretty fucking easy to get your pants off."

"Guilty," Dan said, grinning back at Phil.

They both laughed, and Dan found himself reaching across the table to settle his hand over one of Phil's. He winked like they were in on the same joke and enjoyed the way Phil's own eyes twinkled with amusement.

"I'd tell you how scary you are, but that I'd be more than willing to do this again," said Phil. "If that's what you want."

"That's what I want," Dan said, and he wondered if Phil could hear the undercurrent of sincerity under the light sarcasm. He squeezed Phil's hand before he pulled back to focus on the remainders of his kebab and chips. He had no intention of leaving before it was all gone. "And I think I'd want you to come back to my place to prove that I'm good enough for seconds."

"Seconds?" Phil repeated with a crooked little grin. "You really think we wouldn't have already gone for seconds before work?"

Dan waggled his eyebrows, reveling in the way it made Phil giggle. "Thirds, then."

"Alright, I'll come over," said Phil. "Twist my arm."

"Oh, I'm very good at getting what I want," Dan informed him.

"Trust me," Phil hummed, turning his attention back to his own food. "I've noticed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to the four lovely people making this happen and another big thanks to all of you reading along!
> 
> reblog this chapter on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/618363709868376064/slutville-population-two-chapter-3)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for your support! it honestly means the world to me.
> 
> see you on sunday!

The door was already unlocked when he and Phil climbed their grumbling way up to the third floor, so Dan called Jaya's name into the flat as Phil kicked off his shoddy Converse. A clanging noise from the kitchen answered him, followed by rapid swearing in Hindi.

"Daniel," Jaya shouted back, and Dan could only imagine the expression on her face. "I have been trying to get ahold of you all _day_ , where in the fuck have you -"

She stopped in her tracks when she came into view, and Dan figured that Phil's presence had thrown her off her rhythm. He crouched down to untie his boots while Phil gave an awkward sort of wave. "Hey, J."

"Hey," said Jaya. She crossed her arms over her chest, which might have had as much to do with her lack of bra as it did her obvious discomfort. There was a beat of silence, and then Phil mumbled something about using the loo. As soon as the bathroom door closed, Dan got cuffed upside the head.

"Ow," he huffed, standing back up as soon as he put his boots aside. "What was that for?"

"You know exactly what that was for," Jaya hissed.

"I don't, actually. That's why I asked."

The glare Jaya fixed on him made Dan feel vaguely guilty, but defensiveness was rising at a faster pace. Dan was a bit younger than his friends, which usually wasn't a big deal, but sometimes they acted like he was a stupid teenager with no concept of what life was actually like. He didn't love that. He hadn't been looking for substitute parents when he came to Manchester, after all, and the last thing he needed was a lecture for something he didn't even do.

"You slept with Phil," she said, quiet enough that Dan had to strain to hear the very present judgement in her voice. "You should know better than that."

"Maybe I don't know better than that," said Dan. He shrugged his jacket off and hung it in their cramped hallway closet just for something to do with his hands. He could feel heat rising to his face like he had actually done something to be embarrassed about. "It's not a big deal."

"You're wearing his shirt," said Jaya.

Dan had forgotten about that. He glanced at himself in the mirror and made a quick face, unbuttoning the top couple buttons. He still didn't think that he could pull off the full-button look. "So?"

"So," Jaya said pointedly, "I've been friends with Phil for a long time. He doesn't _do_ this."

"No, he definitely does do this," said Dan. He started counting off on his fingers. "Joshua, Max, Christopher, Bryce, short Dan, Chuck, Frankie -"

"He sleeps with people he gets along with, yeah," Jaya interrupted, glancing over her shoulder as though worried that Phil was going to walk in on them bickering about him. "What I mean is that he doesn't do _this_ , Dan. He doesn't fuck someone and then spend a bunch of time with them. He usually keeps his distance for at least a couple weeks so nobody gets their hopes up, you must have noticed that."

Dan had noticed that. It was hard not to notice things like that when he had to hear his friends’ opinions on it, and maybe he was also guilty of paying more attention to Phil's behaviour than was strictly necessary.

He couldn't say that to Jaya, though. He was supposed to be a guy who'd had the good luck of fucking Phil Lester and still getting pancakes in the morning. Dan affected a small smile, acting like he couldn't help himself, and glanced down at his own hands. "Well, yeah. But - I dunno. We talked. I think this is different."

"Oh, Dan," said Jaya. He hadn't expected that level of pity in her voice, and Dan's eyes flicked up to check her expression. There was judgement and exasperation there, as he expected, but the concern was throwing him off. The texts from his friends had been much the same, but he had thought that maybe he was misreading their tone. Dan was taken aback by seeing it laid out so plainly on Jaya's face. 

"What?" he asked, bewildered.

"I don't think this is different at all," Jaya said, the level of worry in her dark eyes making it hard to look at her. "I think that Phil likes you too much to stay away from you, but that doesn't mean he's going to change. You're going to get hurt, Daniel."

It felt like Dan's heart was in his throat. He didn't mind fibbing to people he cared about in the name of helping Phil, but he hadn't known that he'd be faced with this level of distrust for Phil and for Dan's own judgement. Maybe his friends had known about his small crush on Phil since its inception, and that was why they were treating him like a helpless teenager _again_. He squared his shoulders a bit and gave Jaya his most stubborn face.

"I know what I'm doing, Jaya."

Her mouth twisted unhappily. "I sure hope you do."

\--

They had a couple beers and watched a movie together before Jaya went to sleep, citing an early morning for her retreat. The evening wasn't as weird as it could have been, all told, but Dan could not have summarized the film afterwards if someone paid him. He'd been way too focused on ignoring Jaya's glances and on the warmth of Phil's arm, which had found its way to the back of the couch behind Dan within the first ten minutes. Jaya's bedroom door had been closed for almost an entire episode of Friends now, and Dan couldn't help but notice that Phil's arm had only gotten closer to him since they'd been left alone. Phil's palm had properly settled on Dan's shoulder, arm more or less wrapped around him, by the time Dan said anything.

"You're very touchy," Dan murmured, letting Netflix autoplay another episode. Phil's hand squeezed, almost reflexively, and Dan felt his breath catch in his throat.

"That a problem?" Phil asked. He matched Dan's volume even though there was no real chance of Jaya hearing them through her door.

"Yeah," said Dan. He didn't really mean it, and he knew that Phil could tell. "You know you have to share a bed with me."

"And?"

"And I'm not drunk enough to be convinced to sleep with you," Dan said, dry.

"I'm not trying to convince you to do anything, Dan," said Phil. He squeezed again before taking his arm away, putting space between them that Dan was both grateful for and disappointed by. "I was just… I dunno. Being close to you like this is still a bit weird. I'm trying to get used to it."

Dan made himself comfortable with his back to the arm of the couch, bored by the typical sitcom drama that was happening onscreen. He was far more interested in the drama happening in his own lounge.

"Are you regretting this?" Dan asked quietly, pushing his toes under Phil's thigh to try and get back some of that warmth. Phil smiled, and his hand settled over one of Dan's ankles like the brief moment without touching Dan had been too long. "Do you want to call it?"

"No," Phil said, easy as breathing. His smile turned sheepish. "I've just never done this before. I don't really know how to... act."

"That's okay, nobody really does," Dan offered. "I mean, I've done this for real. I've had an actual serious relationship, Phil. And take my word for it, this is _less_ awkward than the real thing was at the beginning."

"Really?" Phil grinned. "This is less awkward?"

"Yeah, I mean. I guess it's because I'm not trying to impress you or act a specific way, but this is pretty easy. I really think we can pull this off with our friendship intact. Which is important to me, you know, maintaining friendships. That's why _I_ don't sleep with my friends."

Phil's face was impossible to read in the low light of Dan's lounge, only the television illuminating his features. After a long moment, though, he nodded.

"You really don't, do you?" Phil asked, but it seemed to be more to himself than an actual question.

"I'm not like you," Dan said with a little shrug.

"Well, that's not fair," said Phil. He pinched the skin of Dan's ankle between two fingers. "I'd say you're just as much of a slut as I am, Howell."

The giggle was impossible to hold back, and Dan had to settle for kicking lightly at Phil's thigh to show his true feelings. He bit his own lip and made innocent eyes at Phil's fond exasperation. "Maybe that's true. I don't think either of us knows every detail about the other's sex life or whatever, but it probably _is_ more or less accurate. The difference is that I don't ruin my existing relationships by getting my dick involved."

"You keep saying that," said Phil. "Do you really think that sex is ruining my friendships?"

"Isn't it?" Dan challenged. Phil's eyes were as guarded as ever, but Dan could see some fragility there. It reminded him of the way Phil had looked at the party, when he'd come up with this stupid plan.

After a long moment, Phil shook his head. "No."

Dan expected there to be more. He waited, but Phil seemed to be done talking. He was still holding Dan's gaze, soft hand wrapped around Dan's ankle, but he didn't make a move to say anything else. Dan knew there was more, but maybe Phil wasn't ready to tell him about it just yet.

"C'mon," Dan said, quiet. "Let's get you to bed."

\--

The concept of platonic sleepovers was something Dan was very familiar with. He'd never had many friends growing up, but he'd held tight to the ones he'd managed to find, and it was always a relief to get out of his house for a night or a weekend. Even as an adult, he'd spent the odd night eating pizza and watching films in Jaya's bed with her until they both crashed, so he wasn't out of practice or anything. It still felt strange, pulling Phil into his bedroom and digging out pyjamas for both of them.

Phil looked around with not a small amount of interest. Dan's bedroom tended to be off limits when people were over, because he was constantly embarrassed by the state of it. The walls and surfaces were mostly bare, but there were clothes scattered all over the floor. Dan gave some joggers a sniff test before shoving them in Phil's direction, trying to distract him from inspecting the only thing Dan had hung up in the nine or so months since he and Jaya had gotten the place.

"I can't picture you as a car guy," Phil laughs, gesturing at the Formula 1 poster stuck to the wall opposite Dan's bed.

"Shut up," said Dan. He turned his back as he unbuttoned his shirt - technically Phil's shirt, but he wasn't thinking about that - because looking at Phil while he did it made him feel a bit too hot all over. Wriggling out of his skinny jeans was always a chore, but he was comforted by the sound of Phil struggling with his own. Sure, it was their own fault for bringing emo fashion with them into 2011, but that wasn't going to stop Dan from bitching about it.

Normally, Dan wouldn't bother with a shirt. He ran hot, and he always ended up sticking to his sheets if he wasn't airing out, but he didn't think that he could look Phil in the eye if he was half naked. He could always peel the shirt back off when he got overheated in the middle of the night. He grabbed a t-shirt at random from the probably-clean pile by his bed and tugged it over his head. He couldn't justify trousers, though, not with the warmth of early May that his flat tended to absorb. He turned on his only lamp before getting under the covers, hoping that Phil had enough sense of mind to turn off the overhead before he joined Dan.

Phil did. The mostly-bare room was plunged into something dim and warm, and Dan checked his phone for something to look at that wasn't Phil making himself comfortable on the other side of Dan's bed.

"This part is kinda weird," said Phil, wiggling around a bit. He was squinting when Dan looked at him, his contact lenses put neatly away in their case. The case was discarded on Dan's dresser, which was the closest surface to Phil's side of the bed. The chair from the kitchen that Dan used as a bedside table was rickety and held only his lamp and alarm clock. Whenever they had guests over, Dan had to bring it back out, so he hadn't bothered making it a fixture of the room.

"What part? Sleeping next to each other?"

"Yeah," Phil said simply. The corner of his mouth turned upwards, but Dan wouldn't have called it a smile. "I'm sure I'll get used to it, I just haven't had a sleepover since I was a kid."

"As long as you don't kick me, we'll both be happy," said Dan. He set his phone beside his alarm clock and turned off the lamp. Being in the darkness with Phil breathing right beside him had his heart picking up its pace for a couple of minutes, but Dan eventually relaxed enough to get comfortable. His bare leg brushed Phil's borrowed joggers, and he laughed when Phil physically jerked away. "What? Did you forget I was here? It's not that big of a bed, mate, you'll have to put up with touching me a bit."

"Sorry." Phil's voice was quiet, and Dan strained his eyes to try and see the expression on Phil's face. It was futile, anyway, since Phil's expression was as unreadable as always when Dan finally got it in focus. "You just surprised me."

"Have you ever actually cuddled with someone when everyone's clothes were on?" Dan teased.

Phil's expression didn't change, but the silence that followed the question felt loaded. After a couple of weirdly tense moments, Phil turned on his side away from Dan and quietly said, "Goodnight, Dan."

The problem with Phil being so hard to read at any given moment was that Dan had no real way of knowing if he'd actually upset Phil, or if Phil just didn't feel like bantering when he was tired. They'd never fallen asleep together before, Dan had never seen him like this, and his mind went into overdrive wondering if he'd fucked up already.

Hesitantly, Dan shifted closer and draped his arm over Phil's waist. They weren't quite spooning, because Dan wasn't stupid enough to press himself against Phil like that, but he hoped the intent was clear enough. He waited to see if Phil was going to roll away from him or laugh at him or something dismissive, but after a heartbeat or two Phil relaxed. The breath that Phil exhaled sounded like a sigh of relief, and he leaned back a little bit into Dan's warmth. Dan pressed his face into his own pillow so he didn't make a joke and ruin the moment.

He didn't remember falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another thank you, this time to the people who are making sure that i stay on track with both plot and with my schedule. i love you guys ♥
> 
> reblog this chapter on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/618729893660901376/slutville-population-two-chapter-four)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the positive responses!! it means the world to me ♥
> 
> see you on thursday!

A ringtone that didn't belong to him broke through Dan's hazy dreams. He groaned into his pillow at the obtrusive noise. A grunt answered him, almost right in his ear, and then the annoying bell stopped.

"Hullo?" Phil's voice was rough and low and right beside Dan's head. It was enough to wake Dan up properly, and that's when he realised that he was no longer on his own side of the bed.

At some point during the night, Dan had shucked his shirt off and wriggled as close as he possibly could to the warm, pliable body in his bed. He had expected the former, but the latter hadn't exactly been a worry. He bit his lip when he realised that his face was buried in Phil's pillow and his leg was hitched onto Phil's thigh. Dan wasn't about to open his eyes and face humiliation while Phil was on the phone, but it felt and sounded like Phil had rolled onto his back and let Dan curl up against him.

Dan was acutely aware of every part of his body that was touching Phil's. It might not have been a big deal if his morning wood wasn't pressed so obviously against Phil's hip, and it showed no signs of waning against the firmness it had found.

"Sure, yeah," Phil was saying, clearing his throat. "I can come in at noon. Sure. See you then."

He discarded his phone with a heavy sort of sigh, and then he was patting Dan's lower back in a way Dan recognised as a request to move. Dan startled, because he hadn't even noticed that Phil's arm was around him. He'd been a bit distracted by the more pressing matter that was, well, pressing into Phil. The way Phil laughed in that deep morning voice that Dan wasn't used to went straight to his dick, which was already far too interested in the proceedings. Dan rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his face so that Phil wouldn't see him blushing like a tomato.

"You got work?" Dan managed to ask.

"Yeah, in a couple hours," said Phil. He laughed again. "God, your _hair_."

Dan made a vaguely disgruntled noise and used both hands to try and get his hair into some semblance of order. "At least I don't have morning breath like you," he countered. "Why didn't you brush your teeth after eating candy, you weirdo?"

"I'd already done it once," Phil said like that was a logical answer. "Didn't feel like doing it again."

"Disgusting."

"Whatever," said Phil, sounding very much like he still wanted to laugh at Dan. He poked at Dan's chest, which was enough to make Dan blink open his bleary eyes.

Almost immediately, Dan regretted it. Phil was squinting like a mole person, but his hair was that perfect sort of just-woke-up mess that Dan knew some guys spent hours trying to accomplish with gel and irons. His jaw was darker than it had been only seven or eight hours ago, and Dan felt a twinge of envy. He couldn't get stubble from _three_ nights, let alone one.

Phil smirked like he could read Dan's mind. Dan was going to open his mouth to bitch about how the ability to grow a beard didn't make Phil more of a man than he was, but his breath caught in his throat. Phil's index finger had moved from the center of his chest to prod at one of Dan's piercings, almost curiously. Dan swallowed a frankly embarrassing noise and stubbornly kept himself from looking down at his own lap. He was certain that he was tenting his duvet, and he didn't need the visual confirmation to really dig his grave of mortification. He swatted Phil's hand away and sat up, shifting back against the wall that doubled as a headboard.

"Hey, c'mon," he complained, "they're not for you to touch."

"I didn't know you had nipple rings," Phil said, like Dan's protest meant as much to him as a fly buzzing around his head. "Did it hurt?"

"Obviously it hurt," said Dan. He stretched his arms out and pulled his knees up, trying to be inconspicuous in case Phil's impaired vision was managing to keep him modest.

"Huh," Phil said simply.

Dan had woken up with more men than he could have ever imagined he would have when he was younger, but this felt different in a way that he couldn't really explain. Maybe it was the same feeling Phil had dealt with the night before, that uncanny valley of something familiar but in such a different context that he wasn't quite sure what to do.

With a big yawn, Phil swung his long legs out of bed. Dan was about to check his phone when he froze. Phil was hard, too. Although his boxers and Dan's joggers were keeping him more contained than Dan felt in just underwear, there was no mistaking that his cock was straining the same way Dan's _still_ was. Phil didn't seem to notice, or maybe he just didn't care. He grabbed his contact lens case and looked around Dan's absolute tip of a room.

"Have you got clean towels?" he asked. "I call dibs on first shower."

"Er, yeah," said Dan. He gestured vaguely instead of getting up, because there was still a possibility that Phil was oblivious. "Back of the closet door."

"Thanks," Phil said, helping himself to both of Dan's clean towels. Dan wanted to complain about it, but Phil didn't give him a chance before he was talking again. "I'll be a while, so you can take care of that."

"Take care of what?" Dan asked, dumbly. There was no way that he still had any blood in his body left to blush with, and yet somehow he felt hot all over with it. 

Phil only laughed and, with a wink that was more like a facial twitch, took his things out of Dan's room.

It took Dan less than a minute of arguing with himself before he got comfortable and cupped himself through his boxers. He exhaled sharply through his teeth at the relief it gave him, and he didn't bother teasing himself. Phil's stupid fucking body and smirk and voice had already gotten Dan to the point of _needing_ release.

He was too lazy to grab his lotion from the dresser - or the lube in the bottom drawer, for that matter - so Dan just kept palming at his cock until the fabric barrier started feeling damp to the touch. He closed his eyes and tried desperately to think of anything except Phil.

Phil, who probably had a hand on himself in Dan's shower right now. Dan tried to pull his mind away from that scene, which was all too easy to imagine. Dan's free fingers trailed up his torso and tugged a bit at one of his piercings. It was automatic, just a part of his usual routine, but this morning it reminded him of how casually Phil had touched his piercing. It had only been a light touch, really, but Dan had sensitive nipples and an overactive imagination. It was also far too easy to imagine the pleasured shockwaves that would go through Dan's body if Phil were to play with them properly. Dan's hips were moving on their own accord now, pushing up into his hand like it was something to grind against.

Dan wondered if Phil would laugh at him in that low voice again, seeing him react so strongly, and that simple idea was enough to get him to the edge. He replayed that stupid fucking laugh in his mind, because he was too far gone to scold himself for jerking off to the thought of his friend _again_ , and came in his pants at the phantom sound. He was breathing hard and trying to get a single coherent thought back when he heard the faint sound of singing through the wall his room shared with the shower.

\--

The flat seemed weirdly empty and dimmer than usual after Phil left for work. Dan chalked it up to being left alone in it for the first time in days, but that didn't make it any less eerie.

Although he still didn't feel guilty, exactly, Dan wanted to do something for Jaya to make up for the fact that he was lying to her. He spent what felt like several hours deep-cleaning the kitchen, but in reality it had only taken him the length of a Muse album. There really wasn't much _in_ their flat. Their clutter situation was the polar opposite of Phil's place, and yet dust seemed to cling to empty surfaces as easily as Dan remembered them clinging to elephant figurines on his mother's mantle.

Maybe they could use something to make the place feel brighter. The kitchen had a shitty light and no window, which made it feel almost dungeon-y for something in a third floor home. Dan was more or less satisfied after cleaning it, but he still felt like it could use something else.

Even though Phil had barely been gone two hours, Dan still texted him. He lived in a cramped space and managed to make it his own in a way that Dan wanted to emulate one day, but for now he'd settle for making the kitchen feel nicer to be in for any period of time at all. It didn't take long for Phil to text him back with suggestions - only some of which were jokes - and Dan had to admit that there were perks to this fake boyfriend thing.

\--

"Are you... nesting?"

Dan looked up from his current task of stringing white fairy lights under the cabinets and gave Jaya a sheepish sort of smile. "Er, I went shopping."

"And you got lights," Jaya said, still surveying the tiny room with something like amusement in her big dark eyes. "And a cactus."

"I also got a leather t-shirt," Dan offered.

That got her to crack. Jaya laughed, pulling her thin scarf off and draping it over the back of one of their chairs. It was always a little strange for Dan to see her in work clothes, because she tended to dress more like Hayley Williams on her days off, and the business-casual look always made her seem older than she was.

"I'm guessing that isn't for us to display in our kitchen," she said, flopping down into a chair. She was untucking her shirt from her skirt as she did, making herself more comfortable for however long she was in here before she started missing her sweats and neon eyeliner too much. "Any particular reason that you've decided now is the time to decorate our place?"

"I guess not," said Dan.

"So it has nothing whatsoever to do with Mr. Hoarder spending more time here?"

Dan grinned, looping the last piece of string around one of the tacks. "He's not a hoarder."

"Compared to us he is," Jaya pointed out.

"Maybe I just want the place to look nice for us."

"Uh huh. You know, you smile every time I mention him."

"Do not."

As soon as Dan was sure that the whole string of lights wouldn't come crashing down, he flicked them on. The effect was nice, and he wondered if the shop would have another box in the out-of-season Christmas decorations for him to use in his bedroom. He turned off the overhead to see the lights in all their glory, and he made dramatic gestures at the kitchen in general until Jaya sarcastically applauded.

"You did good, kid," said Jaya, deadpan. Her lips twitched when Dan grinned at her. "Oh, stop it. You cleaned a room and bought a plant. Congratulations."

"I think that's worth a non-sarcastic congratulations," said Dan, "but I'll take it."

Dan had never been a fan of overhead lighting, especially the shitty bulbs in this cheap flat, but he hadn't expected how much nicer it would be to have soft lighting in here. Maybe they needed fairy lights in every room.

"Who knows," Jaya was saying as Dan joined her at their table, stretching his legs out away from the table so he didn't kick her. "Maybe now that Phil is going to be here more often, you'll get desperate and make the whole place look homey. We could actually host game night if the place looked better."

Game night was a tradition that Dan's friends had already been doing for ages before he came along, and it cycled between Ollie's and Phil's flats. It had apparently included Jaya's place before she and her girlfriend broke up, but that was before Dan's time. He'd been there for the transition away from Michelle's family's house, though - Phil wasn't allowed there anymore, per Michelle's ruling, and nobody had felt like arguing the point with her further.

This flat had hosted exactly half a game night before Dan and his friends had realised that it wasn't comfortable to have so many people in their lounge with its single sofa and its broken coffee table. They'd ended up going to a pub and drinking for the rest of the night instead.

"I dunno," Dan said after a long moment of thinking about it. "Our place still isn't very big."

"Ollie's place is one room," Jaya pointed out, "and we manage it."

"We do have more places to sleep if everybody gets too drunk to go home," said Dan. He winced at the memory of Ollie's air mattress, which always ended up deflated by the morning, and the way he'd usually have to cram onto Phil's sofa with Michelle in order for everyone to sleep more or less comfortably. He and Jaya, at least, had two beds in their apartment. It sounded... nice, actually, to be able to have people over without the shame of its emptiness making them both hurry people to the pub downstairs before anyone could get too comfortable.

They hadn't bothered doing much with the place in the past. It was a mixture of laziness and lack of pressure to do so, because the people who came over hadn't said anything and neither of them had parents that were even aware of their address, let alone involved enough to poke in every once in a while. Dan was familiar with Phil's parents, Michelle's mum, and Ollie's grandma, but he hadn't so much as seen a photo of anyone in Jaya's family. It was one of the many things that they had in common.

Alone in the city, adrift from their partners and families and responsibilities, Dan and Jaya had found comfort in each other. At this point, she felt more like a sibling to him than his actual sibling did.

He'd been very lucky that Jaya already had friends. They were good friends to have - an eclectic assortment of queers that Dan had only ever dreamed of being authentic enough to surround himself with. They'd all been bothering Phil at work and Jaya had complimented Dan's Kanye t-shirt, asked if he wanted a brownie, made no indication that she had seen him staring at Phil through the stacks.

"We should do a game night this week," he said, lost in his appreciation for the friends he'd found here.

"Yeah, but not here," Jaya laughed. "It's not quite up to snuff yet."

"If I had some help," Dan started. Jaya was already standing up and walking away.

"Can't hear you," she said over her shoulder, almost sing-song. Dan balled up her scarf and threw it at her back, but the fabric was too thin to get much velocity. Now they just had a scarf in the middle of their floor, which Dan was tempted to leave there. He didn't, because he had a vision of stepping on it in the middle of the night and cracking his head on the floor.

Dan put the scarf on their kitchen table and looked around the room again. He felt a sense of pride that he didn't know such a small project could afford him, and he decided that he'd tackle their lounge at some point in the near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you already know the drill, blah blah blah thank everybody involved blah blah you're all the best blah ily
> 
> reblog this chapter on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/619000575853576192/slutville-population-two-chapter-five)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still can't believe how many of you are invested in this and i hope i continue to write a story that makes you feel things!! enjoy!
> 
> see you on sunday!

"What's our story, exactly?"

Dan and Phil had decided to walk to Ollie's together, but neither of them had planned for the downpour that they'd found themselves in after less than ten minutes outside. Dan had done his best to keep his hair sheltered under his flannel while Phil flagged down a taxi, but he was pretty sure it was a lost cause. He was trying to fix it in the hazy reflection of the fogged window when he realised that he hadn't asked Phil something that had been bothering him all day.

"What d'you mean?" Phil asked, sounding distracted.

"I mean, I know we've slept together," said Dan. He did his very best to pretend like the noise their driver made under his breath was an involuntary one. "But did we actually have, like, a talk? The 'what are we' talk?"

"I hate that talk," Phil said on an exhale.

After a beat of waiting for Phil to keep talking, Dan huffed. "Well, we aren't actually having it, dumbass. I just want to know if we had it."

"Yeah, whatever, you're my boyfriend," said Phil. One of his fingers tangled around a loose curl on the top of Dan's head and tugged, just sharp enough to make Dan turn and glare at him. Phil smiled. "We talked, I guess. I don't see why it matters. They aren't going to ask."

"They might," Dan insisted.

"No, they won't." Phil reached for Dan's hair again. Dan batted his hand away before it landed, fighting a smile of his own. There was another low noise from the front seat, but neither of them acknowledged the grouchy person driving them to Ollie's building. Dan had spent too much of his life worrying about what strangers thought of him, and he knew from experience that Phil tended to play dumb when confronted with judgmental idiots. He was good at that, at making his eyes go wide and innocent and asking what the problem was. Besides, it wasn't like they were doing anything wrong.

"I just think we should have our stories straight."

"And I just think it really doesn't matter," Phil said, matching Dan's serious tone in a mocking sort of way. "I just have one question."

Dan narrowed his eyes. He didn't expect anything but a joke at this point, honestly. "What's that?"

"Will we have to kiss?"

"Doubt it," Dan said, maybe too quickly. He didn't want to entertain the idea even for a second. Something in Phil's face changed, but Dan couldn't put his finger on what it was. Phil shrugged like the response didn't matter, either, and then turned to look out his own window. The rain continued to pour.

\--

"I don't like this new development," Michelle announced, holding her wine glass out as if she was pointing. She was already halfway through the bottle of cheap rosé that nobody else liked, leaning back against Ollie's sofa. The five of them were gathered in a loose circle around a Scrabble board, and Dan might have just finished whispering a suggestion in Phil's ear. "They're teaming up against the rest of us."

"We're doing no such thing," said Phil. The grin on his face wasn't even trying to seem innocent, and he let his hand fall to Dan's knee for a quick squeeze. "Right, babe?"

"Babe?" Dan repeated, snorting loudly.

"Would you rather I called you dickhead?"

"Yeah, actually, I would."

"Alright. Dickhead and I aren't cheating or teaming up against you."

Michelle made a skeptical noise. "So what are you whispering about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Dan asked, waggling his eyebrows until everybody was laughing along with him. He was glad that their game night had only been awkward for all of ten minutes before Jaya and Ollie had started warming up - with a little help from alcohol - to the concept of Dan and Phil being together. Michelle was probably going to take a little longer.

Public displays of affection weren't really Dan's ballgame, so he'd assumed that he and Phil wouldn't have had a lot of physical contact in front of other people. He hadn't been anticipating how often Phil would reach for him. It was a little surprising, the way Phil kept grabbing at his hip or his knee like he couldn't go too long without putting his hands somewhere on Dan. Maybe this was something that they should have discussed in the taxi, but Dan didn't actually _mind_.

He knew that their friends were waiting for the other shoe to drop. They must have figured that it was a fling, even if it wasn't just one night, and Dan wondered if they'd have to make a point of using labels for their friends to actually understand what they were trying to do here.

It didn't take long for Dan to find an opening for it. Phil was waiting downstairs for their pizzas to get delivered, since Ollie's buzzer was broken and Phil had lost the game of nose-goes. Dan found himself more or less cornered against the wall that housed Ollie's 'kitchen'. The whole flat was just one room, aside from the bathroom and the dank storage closet that Ollie used as a pantry, and he tended to keep the place impeccably clean for that reason.

Dan was leaning against the counter and chattering about work to Jaya when Ollie and Michelle descended on him like drunken hyenas.

"So," Ollie said, drawing out the syllable far longer than Dan felt was necessary.

"So what?" Dan asked. He kept his tone dry, but he let the corner of his mouth curve up into a small smirk. This was all more fun than he had been expecting it to be. He smirked wider when Michelle rolled her eyes.

"You're sleeping with Phil," she said bluntly.

"Am I?" Dan widened his eyes and looked at Jaya, who snorted. "I hadn't noticed."

"What's that like?" Ollie asked like he couldn't stop himself. He huffed and waved a hand at the expressions he got from the girls. "No, not like that. I just mean... isn't it weird? You guys are such good friends, and as far as I can tell, _you_ don't sleep with your friends."

There was meaning there that Dan wasn't sure everybody picked up on. He hadn't told anyone that Ollie had asked him out, but he didn't know whether or not Ollie had. He couldn't stop himself from wincing, almost apologetically, before he bothered trying to think about what he wanted to say.

This was exactly the sort of thing that Dan was waiting for. He'd wanted to find some organic way to bring up the actual situation that he and Phil were acting out. Still, he took a moment to think about it.

"It was a little weird," Dan said slowly, using his drink as a way to draw out the moment even longer. So he liked to be a bit dramatic. Phil hadn't told him he wasn't allowed to be. "But I think what made it weirder was that it, like, _wasn't_ actually that weird? It kind of felt... normal. Like we were just hanging out but with, y'know, more of our bits hanging out."

"Gross," said Jaya.

"You guys have been hanging out?" Michelle asked, and Dan could have cheered to see those cogs turning behind her eyes. "Like, outside of fucking?"

"Gross," said Jaya, again. Dan put a palm against the side of her head to shove lightly at her, making them both laugh.

"I mean, yeah," he said. He bit his lip and smiled, wondering if he was really good enough to pull off the smitten look when all he really wanted to do was laugh in their faces some more. "We've gone for dinner and stuff. He came over and watched a movie with me and Jaya."

He could see the exact moment that it hit Michelle, and he had to down the rest of his drink so he didn't give the jig up with a shit-eating grin. "Oh my god. So you're, like, _dating_?"

"I guess so," said Dan. "It's still a bit early, and you know what Phil's like. But... I think so. Yeah."

There was a beat of a moment where Dan thought that his friends might not believe him at all. They were exchanging looks that he couldn't really read, and he was just hoping that nobody was planning to give him another pity speech.

Ollie was the first to break the silence. He said, with zero inflection, "That's hilarious."

"You do sort of deserve each other," Michelle chimed in.

Dan almost relaxed, but he saw the way Jaya's lips pursed. She didn't actually say anything, probably because Phil could walk back into the studio flat at any moment, but Dan could tell that she was still wary. He wondered if Ollie and Michelle were worried, too, and just didn't think that game night was the right venue to bring it up - he remembered the texts they'd sent him when he'd first gone home with Phil, the _are you okay_ s and the _call me_ s.

Maybe they should talk to their friends one-on-one at some point this week. He knew that Phil would never get through to Michelle, but Dan could probably manage it.

Before he could try to say something else, Phil came barging in the door with boxes and a sheepish expression on his face, telling them all about the absolute nightmare it had been to retrieve the pizza without touching the delivery man's hand.

"Phil went to eighth base with the pizza man," Dan said, loud and ridiculous enough to make everybody laugh, and the wariness was gone from Jaya's face.

"It was so awkward," Phil groaned. He put the boxes down on the counter and slapped at Ollie's hand when he tried to grab a slice. "Oi, get a plate."

Ollie rolled his eyes. "Yes, dad."

That was a pretty regular running joke among them, calling Phil 'dad' or 'mum' when he acted like more of an adult than the rest of them, and Dan had his own regular twist on it. Dan had never met a joke he couldn't take too far, after all. He couldn't help that he thought it was funny to be a little shit, and normally at least one person laughed along with him.

"Think you mean _daddy_ ," he said, winking dramatically as his friends made booing noises at him.

"Nope, that joke is banned," said Ollie.

"Why?" Dan whined, taking the plate that Phil was offering to him. "It's funny!"

"It was never funny," said Michelle. Dan thought that was pretty rich coming from the one who laughed most often at it. "But it's way less funny now. The last thing any of us needs is details about your sex life."

"It's a joke," said Dan. "It's got nothing to do with our sex life."

"Uh huh," she said, skeptical. Dan considered protesting more, but he figured that the more he denied it, the more suspicious it would seem. He settled instead for sticking his tongue out at her and digging into the delicious greasy pizza.

He tried to catch Phil's eye, but Phil was careful not to look back at him.

\--

After several rounds of Super Smash Bros. and more drinking than Dan could reliably keep track of, everyone decided that it was easier to just spend the night than to pay for a pricey taxi home. Jaya and Michelle played rock-paper-scissors to see who got the couch and who was sharing the bed with Ollie; Dan and Phil had been delegated to the shitty air mattress before either of them could even speak.

"But listen to me carefully," said Ollie, the sound of the girls bickering in the background, "if you try to so much as kiss each other while we're all in the same room, we _will_ drop you off the balcony."

"Air mattress and all," Jaya added. She and Michelle had given up on their 'best of eleven' game in order to try and get each other in headlocks. Michelle had the advantage of having brothers and fighting dirty, but Jaya was stronger. Dan was tempted to put money on this fight, but he didn't have time to make up his mind before Jaya managed to press Michelle into the couch without breaking a sweat. "If we hear a single noise from either of you, really."

"I talk in my sleep sometimes," said Phil.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to fuck one of us."

"That doesn't make any sense," Dan spoke up, flopping onto the air mattress with an annoyed huff. "But it's fine. I'm sleeping now."

"Sweet dreams," Michelle said. Her voice was somewhat muffled by Jaya's elbow.

It should have been harder to fall asleep with all the bickering and most of the lights still on, but Dan found that he was dozing off pretty quickly. The alcohol in his system helped, but he knew that the main reason was how _safe_ he felt here. Phil's leg was pressed to his under their borrowed quilt, his friends' voices were familiar, and Dan decided that sleeping on the worst air mattress in the world was worth moments like this one.

\--

Ollie's flat had big windows and fairly shitty blinds, so Dan was used to waking with the sun when he slept there. It took him a long moment to figure out what had woken him up this time, though, because it was still dark when he cracked his eyes open.

Then he felt Phil shift again and whisper something. He thought that Phil was talking in his sleep until he heard someone respond. Dan closed his eyes again to focus his hearing a bit better, shaking off the remnants of sleep. His curiosity was definitely more important than getting another hour of shut-eye.

" - that you have a type, Phil."

Michelle. She was on the sofa next to Phil's side of the mattress, arguing with him in whispers.

"A type?"

"Yeah," she hissed. Despite her tone, Michelle actually sounded a lot less angry than she usually did during this sort of argument. "You know, Chuck is a lot like Dan."

"That's not fair," said Phil.

Michelle scoffed, quiet. "You're not serious? They're both barely out of adolescence and fucking idolise you."

Dan had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from protesting on his own behalf. He'd met Chuck a handful of times and could kind of understand what Michelle meant, but that didn't mean he wanted to lie here and listen to his friends talk about either of them like that. Chuck was a year or so younger than Dan and had seemed to style himself after Phil in his youth - the skinny jeans, the long fringe, the plaid shirts. He had the same big brown eyes and skinny stature that Michelle and Dan both had. He played Benvolio in a secondary school production that Michelle had complained about for months. So, yeah. There were some similarities.

"Dan doesn't idolise me," Phil whispered. "Not anymore, anyway."

That stung. Dan had honestly hoped that Phil had managed to be completely oblivious, but at least he was aware that it was all in the past. Things could be worse.

"He had the biggest crush on you."

"Which one?"

"Both of them did, Phil. You know that. And you're the nicest guy in the world, why would you take advantage of younger guys like that?"

"I'm not taking advantage of anyone, Chelle." Phil sighed heavily and shifted again, his foot brushing briefly against the sole of Dan's foot. Dan's leg jerked in response to the ticklish sensation, and he could practically hear his friends holding their breath to see if he was waking up. When it was clear that he wasn't stirring, Phil kept going. "I've been honest about what I want from both of them. I've always been honest about what I want from everyone, you know, I'm not _hurting_ people."

"You have a history of fucking people over," Michelle argued. "And the fact that you can't see it is exactly why Dan is going to end up hurt in whatever thing you two have going on."

"Ollie said the same thing," said Phil. Dan hadn't heard that from either of them yet, but Jaya had been dancing around that exact sentiment for a few days now. He wondered why this distrust ran so deep, wondered if it started with Chuck or with someone else, wondered if it had been going on since before Dan became friends with them. "Funny how none of you are worried about my feelings."

Michelle muttered something in response that made Phil sigh, and then they fell quiet.

It took a very long time for Dan to fall back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the usual suspects and to all of you! let me know what you think :')
> 
> reblog this chapter on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/619362746154287104/slutville-population-two-chapter-six)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to keep thanking y'all without sounding like a broken record but THANK YOU
> 
> see you on thursday!

Dan didn't get a lot of chances to wear nice clothes. Well, he didn't get a lot of chances where it made _sense_ for him to be wearing his employee-discount Gucci pieces. That didn't stop him from wearing them to house parties and hungover brunch with Jaya and sometimes just around the apartment to make himself feel good. So when Phil texted him an address and told him to wear something nice, Dan had jumped at the opportunity. He might have even gone a little overboard, but it was too late to turn back now. Twenty-three floors was long enough for him to rethink his outfit a dozen times, even in an expensive and quick lift like this one.

When he finally reached the top, Dan was momentarily stunned. The floor-to-ceiling windows were granting him a view of Manchester that he'd never gotten a chance to see before. Despite the grey clouds promising rain tonight or tomorrow, it was still beautiful.

It took him a couple of seconds of just standing there before he thought to look around for Phil. Once Dan spotted him, he was tempted to turn back around and go home.

The most that Dan had ever seen Phil dressed up was buttoning his plaid all the way up for New Year's. And, yeah, Phil was wearing probably the same plaid shirt that he'd worn at that party, but he'd found a blazer somewhere that Dan had never seen in his life. He looked a lot more casual than Dan felt, and Dan couldn't help wondering if he could get away with putting his scarf in his pocket or dropping it out a window or something. Phil spotted him and waved him over with only a bit of a smirk, then, so that plan was shot before Dan could fully flesh it out.

"Hi," he said, smirk widening when Dan dropped in the chair across from him. "Don't you look like a Gucci mannequin."

"Shut the fuck up," Dan muttered. He should have kept it to the details, the way he usually did when he wore his expensive shit - a belt, a bracelet, nothing too wild - but he'd just _had_ to take a full outfit for a ride. He thought that he must look like an idiot. At the very least, he must look like a kid trying to make clothes work for him just because they fit his shoulders.

"I love the ascot," said Phil, like Dan hadn't said anything. It was annoying that the blue in his favourite plaid shirt made his eyes look so nice, because Dan didn't want to think anything charitable when Phil was making fun of him.

"It's a scarf. Shut up."

Phil had to stop teasing him long enough for them to order drinks, but the way his eyes quietly sparkled when Dan got carded was almost worse than if he'd made a scene about it.

"So," Phil started. Dan kicked him under their small table hard enough to make him wince.

"You told me to wear something nice," said Dan. He knew that he was blushing, but he tried his best to hide it behind some good old-fashioned haughtiness. "So I wore something nice. You don't need to be such a cunt about it. _You're_ wearing plaid."

"It's got a collar!"

That got Dan to crack. He felt a grin splitting his face before he could rein it back in, and he shook his head when Phil beamed back at him. "Stop looking so fucking pleased with yourself. What are we even doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Phil asked, arching an eyebrow. At Dan's blank expression, he laughed. "We're on a date."

Dan was going to need a lot more alcohol for this.

\--

"Why'd you move to Manchester, anyway?" Phil was asking, happily helping himself to the prawn crackers that Dan had ordered. Dan didn't bother fighting him on it, because Phil had already insisted he was paying. Dan had, of course, found the most expensive drink on the menu and faux-seriously asked Phil if he would get him something worth two thousand pounds. Phil had said _not if you're not putting out_ , and Dan still wasn't sure if it was a joke. They'd stuck to their usual pleb cocktails.

"Came here for uni," said Dan. He cocked his head, frowning a bit. "You know that. You met me at uni."

"Yeah, but I don't know why you came _here_." Phil gestured at the window next to them, which had been a continuous distraction during this fake date. "You're a long way from where you grew up, and it's not like you stayed in class long enough to use academia as a reason."

It was a bit of a personal question, but Dan didn't really mind. He had already spilled his soul to Jaya, piece by piece, and all of his friends knew the bare bones stuff. The breakup, his parents' divorce, the bullying, all the pressure to be successful and responsible and straight. He wasn't an extremely private person among the people he trusted, but he didn't like to talk about his past unprompted. It also wasn't a secret that Phil didn't do well with serious conversations, so Dan took a couple of minutes to knock the question around in his head while he watched the clouds roll across the grey sky. He turned away just in time to see Phil with his phone up, pointed at Dan, and they exchanged a sheepish sort of look.

"Sorry, I was just -"

"- with the lighting, and your -"

"- thinking about it so that -"

"Dan." Phil's lips were twitching. "I'm going to post this picture to Twitter, okay?"

Dan could have probably overthought that for a little while, too, but he didn't want to get completely lost in his thoughts. Instead, he just nodded. "That's cool. I didn't realise there was wifi here."

After a few taps, Phil slid his phone back into his blazer. Dan couldn't help but wonder if posting a candid photo from their date was planned, or if Phil had just liked the way Dan looked when he was deep in thought. "So. Manchester. You're here because...?"

"Because it was the furthest university from Wokingham that I got accepted into," Dan said, pulling Phil's drink towards him so that he could try it. "You know I hated it there."

Phil nodded. His eyes were kind and his mouth was twisting, and Dan had to look away before the expression turned into something like pity.

"Dan," Phil started. Dan didn't let him finish.

"And then I met you guys, so obviously I wasn't going anywhere else." 

"Because we're amazing," Phil agreed, accepting the topic shift without a beat. Dan laughed, handing Phil's drink back to him.

"That's way too sugary," he informed Phil. "And I wouldn't use 'amazing'. I mean, yeah, _I_ thought it was cool that you were all queer nerds, but that was because I fit right in."

"I think you guys are my best friends," said Phil, thoughtful. He sounded like it was only a vaguely interesting revelation, like someone had told him how many minutes were in a week. "I've had, like, other friends. Obviously."

Obviously. Dan knew that Phil was a friendly person, and that he had all sorts of friends in the area from uni and secondary school and probably even primary school. Add in the friends of friends and the family friends and it was a little intimidating how many people Phil had on his Facebook page. Still, it was marginally annoying for Phil to act like that was the norm. As if it was a given that every kid had a die-hard group they explored nature with like the fucking Goonies or something. Dan couldn't handle the possibility of Phil getting all sympathetic again, though, so he just nodded. "Sure."

"But you guys are my favourite."

"Yeah," said Dan. He took a long drink of his own cocktail, which was sharper and probably less alcoholic than Phil's. He knew too well how those sugary drinks had more than enough to fuck you up. "You guys are my favourite, too. If that isn't, like, abundantly fucking obvious."

Phil smiled at him, wide and toothy, and Dan's breath caught in his throat for a moment. He leaned closer over the small table, and Dan wondered if Phil was wearing cologne or was just experimenting with one of his thousand goddamn types of body wash that he'd somehow collected. Either way, he smelled... different. And he was still smiling. It was all very distracting.

"Come home with me," said Phil. Like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Dan supposed it was a pretty easy thing to offer when it didn't actually mean anything. He thought about saying no, but he didn't have a good enough reason to. Frankly, he didn't try that hard to think of one.

"Okay," he said. "Can we stop at my place first? I want to grab a change of clothes and stuff."

The way Phil looked him over made Dan feel even more exposed than he had when he was most of the way to naked in front of Phil. He knew he was blushing now, and there wasn't much he could do to hide it. All he could do was meet that silent, mocking challenge in Phil's eyes when they reached his own.

"Sure," said Phil. "I cleared a drawer for you."

\--

Dan had thought he was joking. He looked at the empty dresser drawer suspiciously for so long that Phil sighed and took the rucksack out of Dan's hands to unpack for him.

"You emptied a drawer for me," was all Dan could manage to say. Phil shrugged, focused on the task as he was.

"It was already empty," he said.

Dan couldn't always tell when Phil was lying, because he was so good at walking the line of half-truths and even better at hiding his genuine feelings about any situation, but he was pretty sure that Phil was lying to him right now. He just didn't know why he was bothering.

\--

They kept drinking. Dan was all too happy to get into his pyjamas, and Phil followed his lead before pulling a bottle of gin out of nowhere. They'd channel surfed for a while until they found a shitty action movie and played a half-assed drinking game until they lost the plot of both the movie and the game. Dan's limbs felt heavy and weightless at the same time, and as he sprawled out on Phil's sofa, he realised that he was really quite trashed.

"I'm drunk," he told Phil, who laughed.

"I think I am too," said Phil. He eyed the small amount of gin left in the bottle before he shrugged and downed it. "Did you tell Jaya you're staying over? I don't really want a lecture."

Dan hadn't. He shrugged, pressing his socked feet into Phil's thigh as he stretched out even further. "No, but she's not my mum. Wouldn't be the first time that I fucked off without leaving her a note or something."

"Okay," Phil said, but he seemed a million miles away. Dan wondered if it was from the cocktails and gin or from something else entirely, because it wouldn't be the first time that Phil appeared to take a trip to Mars in the middle of a conversation. There had been a time, when they'd first met, when Dan had thought that Phil was a little bit simple. Hot as lava and just as thick.

That had been stupid of him. He knew Phil well enough now to feel the exact depth of that stupidity, and not only because Phil was a hell of a lot more booksmart than he seemed at the first impression. Phil could be spacey as fuck and didn't always use the right words for things, but that wasn't actually a mark of intelligence. If anything, Dan thought that maybe Phil just had so _many_ things going on in his head that he couldn't tether himself to just one thing. Sure, sometimes Phil would zone out and come back from it with a question like 'do bees have funerals?', but it was equally as likely to yield something strangely genuine.

Dan sat up slowly enough that it wouldn't make him dizzy and gave Phil an encouraging sort of smile. At least, it was supposed to be encouraging. It might look serial killer in reality. "Hey. What are you thinking about?"

"Honestly?" Phil didn't wait for Dan to so much as nod before he continued, "You."

"What about me?"

The first hint of hesitation crept into Phil's expression. He turned back to the television, even though Dan was sure that he had no idea what was happening on it at this point. "Nothing."

"No, c'mon," said Dan, shifting closer to Phil so that he could take hold of his chin easily. He turned Phil's face so that he _had_ to keep looking at Dan. The hesitation was gone, but Dan didn't feel any triumph - it had been replaced with the careful, practiced inscrutability that Dan hated so much. Dan stretched his legs out across Phil's lap as a barrier to him physically running away. "Talk to me. You said I'm one of your best friends, right? Best friends tell each other shit."

"Seriously, it's no big deal," said Phil. He wasn't attempting to shake Dan's hand off him, at least.

"I'll tell you what I'm thinking about," Dan said, wracking his brain for something that wasn't _I thought you were kind of dumb when we met_.

He needn't have bothered. Phil shook his head, displacing Dan's hand, and offered him the sort of humourless smile that Dan associated with not getting any more answers.

"No," said Phil, somewhat predictably. "That's okay. We can think things without talking about them, Dan."

"I'm not familiar with that," Dan joked. Phil's smile became something more sincere, and Dan tried to keep his relief to himself.

Despite his teenage dreams, though, Dan had never exactly been a _good_ actor. It didn't help that he was fuzzy with alcohol and with the bone-deep need to make Phil laugh. He was certain that all of his thoughts were being broadcast across his face before he even got a chance to say them out loud.

Phil didn't call him out on it. He looked down at where Dan's feet were still comfortably resting in his lap as though he was surprised by them, and then he shrugged. "Well, okay, but it's really not a big deal. I was just thinking about how weird it would be to kiss you for the first time in front of other people. Like... maybe we need to practice or something."

"I don't think we'll be kissing in front of anyone," said Dan.

"Yeah. I know you said that you doubt it'll come up, but I think you're wrong. At the very least, Dan, it would be weird if we _weren't_ necking at Cameron's party next weekend."

There was a part of Dan that wanted to keep arguing the point, because there was always a part of him that wanted to argue, but he had to admit that Phil had a point. They didn't _like_ parties for the same reason that other people did. They'd rather hang out with their friends more privately, and Dan knew that Phil's anxiety tended to be sky-high if he was left to his own devices at a house party. It was more or less just an opportunity for them to find people they wanted to fuck.

"Okay," Dan said before he could overthink it. His limbs still felt heavy with alcohol, but his arms wound their way around Phil's shoulders without incident. He tried, again, for a reassuring sort of smile. He couldn't read Phil's expression well enough to see if it worked. "No funny business, though."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Phil said, quiet. His eyes were fixed on Dan's mouth, and Dan tried to suppress a shiver.

This didn't mean anything. Dan still wasn't going to make the mistake of sleeping with Phil, especially when they were both so drunk, but... he thought he could handle a kiss. Just one kiss.

Phil licked his lips in a way that looked nervous, but he was leaning in before Dan could say anything about it. Dan's eyes fluttered closed right before the moment of contact, and he linked his fingers behind Phil's neck for something to grip onto.

It was soft. Phil had taken him seriously for once and wasn't trying to deepen the kiss. He wasn't even trying to put his hands on Dan. Even so, Dan felt goosepimples starting to rise at the simple feeling of Phil's lips pressed to his own. He couldn't remember the last time that something so chaste had woken up his whole body like this, but he was inclined to blame the alcohol.

They parted, and Dan kept his eyes closed. He didn't think he could handle looking at Phil right now.

Dan inhaled shakily and laughed on the exhale, shaking his head. "Okay. Okay, I'm very drunk. I think it's bedtime."

"Yeah," said Phil. His voice was low, and Dan had to pull his arms and legs out of Phil's personal space before he ended up throwing everything out the window.

The friendship he had with Phil meant too much to him. He couldn't fuck that up in a single moment of weakness. Dan was careful not to look at Phil as he stood up and stretched. "Gotta take a leak first, but I'll take the couch tonight."

"Yeah," Phil said again.

He didn't say anything else. By the time Dan had finished doing his business and splashing water on his face to try and cool some of the redness, Phil had already retreated to his bedroom. Dan found himself staring at the closed door for a lot longer than he was proud of, but he was sure that he'd made the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the usual suspects for helping me with this fic and for shouting at me throughout this entire chapter!!
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/619635744663797760/slutville-population-two-chapter-seven)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so fun to see everybody's reactions to this so far!! i'm so :DD
> 
> see you on sunday!

Phil's sofa was a lot less comfortable than the bed, but at least Dan didn't have to share it with anyone. He thanked his lucky stars that he'd managed to avoid a hangover, at least, because there was a knot the size of a plum in the middle of his back that he already had to contend with.

It was almost sad how easily he could feel a routine forming. Dan took a hot shower to loosen his muscles, got himself off with a slick hand, and tried not to think about Phil's lips on his. He rooted around in Phil's cupboards for something to eat while his damp hair curled around his ears, because Phil's hairdryer and straighteners were in his room. Dan wasn't about to wake Phil up just for his own minor comfort.

A memory flashed through Dan, unbidden, of the first time Phil had seen his hair like this. He'd gotten stuck in the rain on his way to the library and had considered just going home, because he hadn't wanted the cute library assistant to laugh at him.

He hadn't known Phil's name then. All he'd known was that he was good-looking, helpful, and had a small group of friends that came to hang out with him after most of the students had left. Dan hadn't even been sure if he wanted Phil or if he wanted to be Phil, but he'd had such a hard time keeping his eyes off him. The last thing he'd needed was for Phil to see his hobbit hair.

And, yeah, Phil had laughed. But he had also told Dan he looked _adorable_ and offered him a tea towel to dry himself off with before he dripped all over the books.

Dan hadn't stood a chance, really.

He heard Phil's door open and ducked his head further into the cupboard, still self-conscious despite how long they'd been friends for.

"Morning," he called over his shoulder. Phil grunted in response, and then another door closed. Probably the bathroom. Dan had woken up in the same place with Phil after a night of drinking enough times to know that Phil wouldn't be talking in full sentences until he'd had at least half a pot of coffee.

With that in mind, Dan set about making the coffee. He didn't usually drink it himself - and he certainly wasn't about to succumb to the instant shit that Phil lived on - but he wasn't brewing it for himself. Once that was set, he took a bowl of cereal to the lounge and put on some vaguely familiar renovation show. He didn't have work today, so he was fully prepared to get comfortable and carve a dent in Phil's sofa.

Dan had gotten the beginnings of a marathon started by the time Phil joined the living. His hair was a damp mess and he was in the same pyjamas, but his eyes were bright behind his glasses. He curled up on the other side of the sofa with a mug in hand and gave Dan a small smile.

"Thanks," he said, holding his coffee out like he was making a toast. "I really needed this."

"I know," said Dan. "I remember what a zombie you were after Chelle's birthday."

"Her family doesn't have any caffeine in their whole house," Phil said, as if Dan hadn't been there before. Granted, Dan had only been to Michelle's house a handful of times, but her mum was so loud about every opinion that it was nearly impossible to forget. He knew that Phil had known the whole family for several years, though he couldn't remember how. He didn't particularly care.

"It was a tragedy," Dan agreed in his best approximation of a solemn voice. He felt a thrill down his spine when it made Phil laugh, that low morning rumble that he was still trying to get used to hearing. "So, is that your second or your third?"

"I don't see what that has to do with anything," Phil said, ineffectually hiding his grin behind the mug.

Dan laughed. He didn't really have a problem with Phil drinking as much coffee as he wanted to, especially since he'd been the one who bought it in the first place. He just liked giving Phil a hard time. "What if I wanted one, huh? Leave some for the rest of us."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," said Phil.

There was a long beat where the telly was the only noise in the flat. Dan was trying to figure out what Phil meant by that, and Phil was just smirking at him like he knew exactly how much trouble Dan was having. After Dan tried turning the cogs in his brain to no avail, he shrugged.

"I don't know what you mean," he admitted, a bit put out about it.

"It's not a big deal," said Phil, and for a second Dan was thrown back to last night. He was so distracted by the memory of Phil's lips against his own that he almost missed the rest of Phil's explanation entirely. "Like, I honestly don't care, so don't get all weird about it. But I just think it's funny that you're telling me to stop being so greedy when I can't help but notice how my lube's been disappearing."

Phil's eyes were twinkling with a familiar mischief, and Dan had to cover his face with both hands so that his blush couldn't be seen from outer space.

"Oh my god," he groaned.

"It's just funny," Phil repeated cheerfully, "how quickly it's running out, now that you're sleeping over."

"Shut up," said Dan. He couldn't stop himself from laughing, even as embarrassed as he was. "It was there, alright, of course I used it to jack off. You want me to fucking replace it or something, dickhead?"

"Wait, you're using it to jack off?"

The perplexed question was enough for Dan to come out of hiding. He frowned, trying to find hidden meaning in Phil's words, but there didn't seem to be any. He cocked his head to the side, watching the bewilderment and amusement fight for dominance on Phil's face. "Er, yeah? What did you think I was doing, changing a tire?"

"No, I just mean... like..." he trailed off, making a gesture that was somehow both vague and extremely descriptive at the same time. 

Dan blinked. "I say again, what did you think I was doing?"

"Not to put too fine a point on it," Phil said, snorting into his mug as the amusement won out, "but I kind of figured you were using it to fuck yourself. That's what it's there for."

"Okay, fine, do whatever you want in the privacy of your own shower. What does it matter that I used it to touch my dick?"

Phil laughed, loud, and Dan couldn't help grinning back at him. It was sheepish and he was still blushing, but the sound of Phil laughing always made him want to smile. "Because," Phil said, ramping up energy like he was preparing for an argument. "You're wasting it. Just use shampoo or shower gel or something if you feel the desperate need to get off every time you're here."

"Shampoo," Dan echoed. He tried to keep a straight face, because Phil deserved that, but his grin wasn't going anywhere. "Weird way to tell me you've got a hairy dick, mate."

"At least _I_ can grow hair," Phil said serenely.

A choked-off laugh escaped Dan's lips before he could bite it back, and he picked up a pillow to pummel Phil with it. He ignored Phil's protests about holding coffee, and they were both trying to smother the other with the couch cushions before Dan knew it.

"Shut _up_." Dan was laughing. He couldn't seem to stop. "As if you have any room to talk about how often I get off. There's no way you're any better."

"I'm older," Phil supplied, holding his mug above his head to try and prevent it from spilling everywhere.

"We're talking about you," said Dan, "so I doubt that matters."

Phil elbowed him pretty hard in the chest, but Dan wasn't about to give up that easily. He took Phil's glasses off his nose and then scurried to his feet, out of arm's reach, while Phil uselessly tried to blink his eyes back into focus. "God, you're so annoying," Phil said, but he sounded more fond than anything else. At least, Dan thought that he did. Maybe he was reading into this more than he needed to. He was still debating with himself about it when Phil sighed. "Give them back, Dan. It's not my fault you're a horny mess."

"So are you," Dan retorted. Not his best work. It made Phil grin, at least.

"Sure," he said. "I'd last longer than you without getting off, though. Think the amount of lube you've been thieving is proof of that."

"Is that a challenge?"

Dan was fully aware that this was a ridiculous argument to have, but it was so difficult _not_ to escalate things when Phil was making fun of him.

"No real way to enforce that," said Phil, holding out his free hand for Dan to place the glasses in. Considering how easily they both broke things, Dan conceded to giving them back. As Phil was readjusting to full eyesight again, he made a thoughtful sort of noise. "But it would be fun to see you lose. What are the stakes?"

\--

This flat had always been something of a safe haven, but Dan felt it so much more strongly these days. He was glad that he didn't have work today, because the last thing he wanted to do was be around people who barely tolerated him when he could, instead, have a Ghibli marathon on Phil's sofa.

Phil sat with him for one of the films, but he'd needed to duck out and go to work for a few hours. He'd asked what Dan wanted him to bring back for dinner like he was expecting Dan to stay without any conversation about it. Then, he'd pressed another chaste kiss to Dan's lips on his way out the door. Dan kept brushing the tips of his fingers against his lips for the entirety of Kiki's Delivery Service, a bit surprised by how tingly they still felt. He'd thought that his physical reaction the night before had been mostly from the alcohol. He didn't have that excuse now.

But he also didn't want to think about it. So, instead, Dan enjoyed the feeling of safety and belonging that Phil's lounge always provided him and did his best not to dwell on how soft Phil's mouth had been.

\--

Phil came home with pizza boxes and Jaya. Dan had only been expecting one of those things.

"Hi," Dan said, suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn't touched his phone at all today. He pulled an apologetic face and waved at her over the back of the sofa. Jaya rolled her eyes.

"You could have told me where you were," she said in that mildly scolding tone that reminded Dan of a mum. Not his own mum, mind, but one that actually cared. Maybe that wasn't fair, but Dan had long stopped worrying about being kind to his family in the privacy of his own mind.

"I forgot," Dan admitted.

"We got a little fucked last night," Phil chimed in, putting the pizza down on the coffee table. He'd clearly ordered enough for all three of them, and Dan wondered if Jaya had hunted him down at work to ask about Dan's whereabouts and ended up following him to Domino's. That was hilariously likely. "Sorry about that. I'll try and make sure one of us gets ahold of you next time."

"Thanks," Jaya said, familiar wariness back in her eyes. She shrugged her jacket off and got comfortable in the middle of the couch. 

It was almost like she was putting physical distance between Dan and Phil on purpose, but Dan didn't feel comfortable confronting her about it when Phil was here. That would have to wait.

"Sorry I didn't come home," said Dan. He couldn't let Phil apologise _for_ him like he was a child.

"Oh, that's okay," said Jaya, her tone already softer. She patted his hand. "You're an adult, you can do whatever you like. You're just the closest thing I've got to a guard dog, and I guess I'm not used to having the flat to myself. It was a bit creepy."

"I get that." He did. Dan would be the first to admit that being home alone at night was terrifying. It was something that he'd always hated as a child, and he hadn't been able to outgrow it yet. It made him feel better to know that he wasn't alone in the fear, that Jaya was just as affected by it despite being older than him. "We'll make sure to stay at our place some nights, too - wouldn't want to leave you in the lurch. Right, Phil?"

"Right," Phil said, focused on his food.

Jaya's mouth twisted. "We?"

"Well, yeah," said Dan. He tilted his chin up a bit, defiant despite the fact that this was all technically an act. "Phil's my boyfriend. He'll be coming over a lot more now, Jaya."

"Are you?" Jaya asked. She'd turned completely to face Phil, so Dan had no idea what her expression was doing. It was impossible to tell by looking at Phil, too, because the guy never gave anything away if he could help it. "Are you his boyfriend?"

It sounded challenging, as though Jaya were waiting for Phil to laugh or freak out or admit that the whole thing was a joke, and Phil's shoulders rolled back in a motion that wasn't quite a shrug. He seemed like he might be uncomfortable, nervous, but Dan was sure that he was putting it on. There was no reason for Phil to be genuinely nervous.

"Yeah," he said, quiet. "I know it's not - like me. I guess. But this is different."

"Are you doing this to make Dan happy?" Jaya pressed, and Dan almost wished he weren't here for this. "He'd understand, you know. It's only going to make things worse between the two of you if you force yourself into things on his account, Phil."

"Jesus," Phil muttered. He looked back down at his pizza, picking idly at the cheese. "I was the one who asked for it."

"That's true," Dan put in, squeezing Jaya's knee maybe too hard. He wasn't trying to hurt her, he just wanted her to stop making Phil look like that. So... defeated.

Something in Jaya's posture relaxed. She batted Dan's hand away, but she was smiling faintly when she turned back to him.

"Okay," she said, like that was the end of that. "As long as everybody here is doing what's best for them and nobody's being self-sacrificing or manipulated into it, I think I can get on board with this. You've gotta understand why I was worried about both of you, though."

"You were worried about me?" Phil asked, sounding lost.

"Well, duh," said Jaya. She was reaching for a slice, and Dan was certain that he was the only one to catch the flicker of genuine shock and gratitude on Phil's face before he schooled it into something more neutral. "We all were. We thought that you were just going along with what you thought you ought to do in order to keep Dan happy. And, yeah, obviously we were worried that you'd break his little adolescent heart or whatever -"

"Hey," Dan protested weakly.

Jaya ignored him. "And I'm sure Michelle thought she could talk you down because you _know_ better than to get someone's hopes up like that again, but I'm guessing she wasn't very forthcoming about every reason behind the lecture."

Again? That was news to Dan. He didn't think it was the right time to ask, though.

"She never is," said Phil. Dan thought it was funny of Phil to be exasperated by someone else being hard to understand.

"Give her time," Jaya said, and the wariness wasn't completely gone, but there was a softer edge to it now. Dan could almost interpret it as someone cautious that their friends' relationship might not work out rather than someone overprotective and unhappy about the whole situation.

It was progress. Dan fought down the guilt that was rising in tandem with his relief, because he understood more than ever why Phil needed this. Dan had been the target of the jokes, too, but at least his friends didn't think he was _incapable_ of commitment. 

So this act wasn't just a fun and stupid way to pass the time, it was proving the people around Phil wrong in the safest way he knew how.

Dan reached behind Jaya to touch Phil's shoulder, just for a moment, in something like solidarity. Phil's hand came up to squeeze Dan's, and Dan found his resolve strengthening. Because maybe Phil wasn't ready to do this for real, to let someone in, even if he wanted to. And Dan sure as hell wasn't letting him down now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big ups to the usual suspects ♥ and to chicken in particular for inspiration on the lube debate
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/619974297656721408/slutville-population-two-chapter-eight)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! thank you all for being so engaged with this story, it really makes me excited to write and post it!! oh, i should warn that there's v mild recreational drug use in this chapter (marijuana edibles) so proceed w caution if that's a bother.
> 
> see you on thursday!

The days started to bleed into each other in a way that surprised Dan when he thought about it. He never would have expected this to be his new normal. Sleeping with someone more or less every night was already a weird concept for him, but he found that it was actually quite comfortable after he got the hang of it. Dan wasn't sure if he preferred staying at Phil's, where they could sleep separately, or if he preferred waking up tangled with Phil's long limbs.

It would be a no-brainer, normally. Dan liked physical contact well enough in private, and Phil was a good cuddle buddy. Sometimes he clung to Dan like he'd never had anyone to hold close before. Dan wondered, not for the first time, if that was the case.

The problem was the bet. The challenge. Whatever. It wasn't exactly enforceable, but it was a lot harder to get off in the shower when Phil would knock on the door and cheerfully remind him not to. There wasn't even much on the line - if Dan ignored Phil and jerked off anyway, all he had to do was cook dinner for them. It was more about the principle of the matter than what was actually at stake.

Waking up tangled with Phil was good, yes, but it was also risky. Every single time they shared Dan's bed, Dan woke up with his morning wood pressed to some part of Phil and nothing he could do about it. Not unless he wanted to hand Phil bragging rights and a home-cooked meal, anyway. At this point, it was a lot easier to crash on Phil's sofa.

The routine of eating meals together and playing games together and going to sleep together was all new to Dan. He never dealt with this kind of thing when he was with Valerie, since they'd both still lived with their parents when they were dating. It was different from what he'd had with Valerie and something different from what he currently had with Jaya, but he couldn't put his finger on what exactly made it feel so new to him. Maybe it was just how _easy_ things felt with Phil. They liked all the same stuff and went to sleep at the same time and got along in a way that Dan didn't think he ever had with another person.

Even the kissing was getting easier. Dan was barely blushing now.

Still, Dan was happy to head across town for a party that would break into the domestic monotony he'd somehow agreed to. He knew that he wouldn't be able to flirt shamelessly or even get too drunk - just in case he said something to his friends that would fuck Phil over - but he liked house parties for what they were. He figured it wouldn't be all that different, going with Phil as his boyfriend instead of a friend.

Cameron was an aspiring DJ and always set out the best snacks, which always made his parties a bit better than most of the ones that Dan went to. Dan didn't have many friends, himself, but the four people he considered his best friends all had their own people. Some of those people overlapped in confusing ways, so Dan couldn't remember which one of them was actually friends with Cameron. That never seemed to stop the guy from greeting Dan like they were long-lost brothers.

"You made it!" Cameron said happily, as though the party wouldn't have been right without Dan. He threw an arm around Dan's shoulders and started to point around his home, seemingly forgetting that Dan had been there half a dozen times. "Loo's down the hall, liquor's in the kitchen, and there's some brownies in the lounge."

"Brownies, huh?" Dan grinned. "What kind?"

"Double fudge," said Cameron. At whatever expression crossed Dan's face, he laughed. His breath already smelled like a fire hazard. "And a pan of the other ones. Don't worry, they're labelled."

Before Dan could say anything else, Phil materialized out of the already packed kitchen and grabbed his wrist. He was smiling, but it was sharper than the ones that Dan had gotten used to in the privacy of their own homes. "Hey, there you are."

"Here I am," Dan agreed, allowing Phil to pull him out from under Cameron's arm and down the hall without any fuss. He waved Cameron goodbye before speaking directly into Phil's ear. "What's with you? The guy's straight, you've got nothing to be jealous about."

"I'm not jealous," said Phil. "There's just a lot of people here and I missed you."

Dan had known Phil long enough to understand what that meant. Phil never thrived in crowds, and in such a small space he was probably getting anxious and claustrophobic. It sometimes felt like Phil used Dan and their friends as an anchor of sorts, something that made him feel better in the din of drunken acquaintances. Dan wound their fingers together to give Phil's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Some people greeted them on their way through the house, but Phil didn't stop to talk to any of them. He only gave those sharp smiles in response. Dan wondered how long Phil had been here by himself, how bad his anxiety had already gotten.

Predictably, Phil found them a corner near the snack table to finally take a breath in. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, letting Dan get a good look at the tension in his shoulders and the crease between his eyebrows. Dan didn't like to see that. He put both hands on Phil's face as a split-second warning before he pressed their lips together.

"What was that for?" Phil asked, but there was softness in the curve of his lips again. 

Dan kissed him again, quick. Just the chaste, familiar pecks that they'd gotten used to over the past few days. "You look stressed."

"It's a lot," Phil said quietly.

"I know," Dan assured him. He pressed a third kiss to Phil's nose to make him smile again. "Why don't you stay here and figure out the best food while I get us some drinks?"

"Okay. Okay, yeah, I can do that. Thanks, babe."

This time, Dan didn't object to the pet name. It felt less like Phil was mocking him and more like an extension of his gratitude, as though Phil was trying to say that he was thankful for more than just the drinks. Dan only smiled in response, hoping that the heat he felt in his cheeks wasn't obvious in the dim light of Cameron's lounge.

\--

A couple drinks and half a brownie shared between them later, Dan and Phil found themselves sat on the carpet in one of the corners of the lounge. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sit and chat, but they didn't want to get crammed into a space with other people. Dan thought that Phil's peace of mind and close access to the food were more important than keeping his ass from getting sore. Phil was stretched out on his elbows, almost lying down completely, and Dan's eyes kept getting tripped up on the skin exposed by his shirt riding up. Phil's smiles were looser now, some combination of the seclusion from the rest of the party and whatever his chunk of brownie was doing to him.

Dan didn't feel much of anything, if he was honest. Laughter was coming more easily and things felt heavy that didn't normally - like his eyelids, for example, making every blink feel like it lasted way too long - but all things told, he wasn't going to feel anything from such a small amount of an edible anymore. He'd matched Phil without even thinking, forgetting that he didn't partake at parties as often as Dan did.

Phil was definitely feeling it. He was giggling at nothing and kept trying strange combinations of snacks to satisfy the unending cravings. Dan found himself thinking it was awfully fucking cute.

"Do you think the moon tastes like cheese?" Phil asked, blinking at a cheddar cube between his fingers. He had already tried one and made a face like he was tasting something foul, but it seemed like he still wanted to touch them. "Because that would be gross."

"I think it probably tastes like rock," said Dan.

"I wonder what space rock tastes like," Phil hummed. He tossed the cube in Dan's direction. Normally, Dan had a decent enough reaction time and could have caught it in his mouth, but the alcohol and weed was still affecting him a little bit. The cheese cube bounced off of his chin instead, to Phil's great amusement.

"You think space rock tastes different than Earth rock?" Dan asked, fishing the cheese out of his shirt to pop it in his mouth. He would have preferred something salty at this point in the night, but he wasn't exactly picky.

"Sure," Phil said happily, "if it wants to."

The simplicity of that nonsense statement made Dan snort. Phil grinned like Dan had given him something precious, and then he was reaching out to tug lightly at the front of Dan's shirt.

Dan knew what he wanted. He wasn't exactly a subtle man. But he raised his eyebrows and stayed where he was, waiting pointedly for Phil to use his words.

He should have known better than to expect that. After a frustrated little huff, Phil sat up and plastered himself against Dan's side. His open mouth pressed against Dan's jaw, and Dan felt a shiver run down his spine. The edible wasn't as effective for Dan as it was for Phil, but that didn't stop Dan from feeling a low thrum of heat in the wake of Phil's mouth. Phil's hand, when it settled on his thigh, felt like it was burning a hole in the denim barrier.

Dan's heavy eyelids fluttered shut, and he tilted his face away from Phil. He hoped that Phil wouldn't read it as a brush-off, because it certainly wasn't one. Luckily, Phil was good about hearing things left unsaid. His lips moved to the exposed side of Dan's neck. The pressure was so soft, but Dan's breath was already coming out shaky.

They hadn't done this yet. Dan hadn't even felt Phil's tongue in his mouth, but he was feeling it now - small flicks of the wet muscle right against his pulse point that were making his skin tingle. They'd talked about making out at this party, sure, but Dan hadn't expected to be so... affected.

His neck happened to be sensitive. That was all it was. 

Dan pulled Phil back by the hair before he could get his teeth involved. Knowing Phil, it could have been any second. Dan knew that he was matching Phil's goofy grin before he tugged Phil forward for a proper kiss.

It was far from the filthiest snogging that Dan had done in company, but maybe it was the pretense of it all that made him flush red. He felt so much more exposed than he was. It was like the people milling around were voyeurs, present for him doing something much more explicit, and it made Dan's head rush. Phil's tongue was in his mouth now, but the kiss was still soft, exploratory. Like Phil was leisurely enjoying himself, learning all the tricks that made Dan's hand flex in his messy hair.

Dan's head was already starting to cloud up as the tingling feeling spread through his whole body, and he wished that he could blame it on the edible. It was unlikely that it just hadn't hit him full force until this exact moment.

His judgment was impaired, but he knew that it wasn't from the drugs or the liquor. He didn't want to think about what the actual cause was. If he didn't acknowledge it, then he could keep living his life without the stress of it on his shoulders. Just then, Phil bit down on his lower lip the tiniest bit. Dan had impulsively decided to throw all of his excuses out the window and drag Phil somewhere more private when someone loudly cleared their throat in front of them.

Phil was too polite to ignore them. He pulled away from Dan and blinked up at the interrupter, but he left his palm firmly on Dan's thigh.

"Did you need something?" Dan asked, impatient with it.

He definitely knew the girl standing before them, but Dan couldn't have named her if his life depended on it right now. She rolled her eyes with an air of familiarity, and Dan wondered if she was one of Phil's many friends.

"You live with Parikh, right?" She didn't wait for Dan to answer before she added, "Since she's throwing up in the sink and all, thought you'd want to get her out of here."

Dan felt a surge of guilt that wasn't even logical. He'd forgotten to look for Jaya at this party, so how was he supposed to know that she'd made herself sick and possibly vulnerable? The knowledge that he couldn't have done anything about her drinking too much even if he was at her side didn't assuage his feelings at all. He untangled himself from Phil and gave him an apologetic smile.

"I need to take care of Jaya," he said.

"Of course," said Phil, eyes wider than usual. "Want me to come with?"

"If she's this drunk, I should sleep with her and make sure she doesn't roll onto her back. Come over tomorrow, okay? You good to get home?"

That made Phil smile. He shoved lightly at Dan. "I think I can fucking manage."

"Text me," Dan said, more forcefully than he intended. He smiled back to make it feel less like he was ordering Phil around. "So I know you're home safe."

"Okay," said Phil. He was always more agreeable about things to ease his friends' worry than he was about their opinions on literally anything else. Dan half expected an argument, honestly, but he was glad that he didn't have to. He leaned in for a last quick kiss before he scrambled to his feet. He hoped he'd find Jaya before she started crying or throwing punches, as she was wont to do when anybody but Dan approached her in the state he expected her to be in. Getting another kiss from Phil was worth the risk, though.

\--

By the time Phil texted that he was home and safe, Jaya had already crashed. She was snoring, face mostly buried in her pillow, and still wearing her maxi dress. Dan gently rolled her into the recovery position before he responded to Phil.

 **glad to hear it** , he sent. It didn't feel like nearly enough, so he added another text to the chain. **jaya is asleep after puking up everything she ever ate**

 **Good!** came through before Dan could think of anything else to add.

Dan wished he was there instead of curled up under Jaya's floral duvet with an empty mixing bowl on the nightstand in case of further sickness. He thought about what he would have done if he'd gone home with Phil tonight, and he had to admit that he was lucky to be needed elsewhere. His resolve had fucking crumbled in the face of Phil's mouth.

He was careful not to let his mind drift too far. He hadn't gotten off in days and he was sleeping next to one of his friends, so it wasn't like he could fantasize about another friend right now without some serious consequences.

As if he knew what Dan was thinking, Phil texted him again. **Remember not to touch yourself unless you wanna lose ^_^**

Dan buried his face in Jaya’s other pillow with a muffled noise of frustration. He felt like he was on a downward spiral that he wasn't able to contain, and the only thing he could do about it was pull himself away from the situation that he had already committed to.

Commitment to Phil Lester. Now _that_ was something he had never expected.

\--

"What's everybody's problem with my relationship, anyway?"

They hadn't actually been having a conversation. Jaya was curled up on the sofa with her new best friend, the mixing bowl, and staring in the direction of the telly. Dan was pretty sure she wasn't actually watching it, because she had the weather report muted right now. He'd meant to just walk by her into the kitchen and get some water for both of them, but the question had been plaguing him the whole week. It just came out.

Jaya winced at the sudden noise. To her credit, though, she didn't tell Dan to ask her again when she felt better. She was all too familiar with how bad Dan's procrastination could be, even when it came to open communication, and she probably figured that answering his question now would be better for everyone.

"It was unexpected," she said. She was speaking so slowly, and Dan wondered if that was because she still felt like shit or because she was being careful about her words.

"Yeah," he prompted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Neither of you act like you want a relationship," Jaya continued. There was still a sickly pallor under her rich brown skin, but the set of her jaw was determined. "In fact, you've both made a point of saying it's not for you at this point in your lives. And that's fine. You're allowed to stay single and you're allowed to change your mind. It's just... you were only here to see the dominoes start falling. You didn't see the way they'd been set up, you know? Maybe if you'd been friends with us for as long as we've all known each other, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

That stung. Dan knew she didn't mean it as an insult, but he felt like it was keeping him an outsider to the people he was closest to in the entire world. He tried not to let the hurt show on his face, because he didn't want to derail the conversation right this second. "So explain it to me like I'm stupid, then."

"You're not stupid, Dan," said Jaya. Her voice was so quiet and so warm, it was all Dan could do to keep his defenses up. "You have a brother, don't you?"

"I do," said Dan, pushing down the wave of emotions that always came with that reminder.

"Younger?"

"Yeah. By a lot."

"Okay," she said, looking down at her empty bowl for a second. "Well, I've known Chuck since he was fifteen and Ollie met him a couple years ago, too, but Phil has been friends with Michelle for a decade or so."

It was too early to do any specific math, but Dan could understand where she was going with this.

"So he's known Chuck since they were both basically kids." Dan perched on the arm of their couch. "And you think that was, I dunno, irresponsible of him or something, right? Because he's, like, five years older? But Phil didn't do anything wrong, Jaya. I was _at_ that party. Phil didn't make the first move by a fucking long shot."

"I know," said Jaya. "But he's so _polite_ , Dan, he never knew how to let Chuck down easy or anything. I wouldn't say he encouraged Chuck's massive crush on him, but he didn't do anything else about it either. And then to hook up with him at Michelle's party like that? I get why she got so mad at him."

"I get it too," Dan said, because he did. He'd never begrudged Michelle her anger, as much as he'd disagreed with it. He just didn't know what this had to do with him.

Something of that must have shown on his face, because Jaya laughed. The motion of her shoulders made her suddenly tense, but luckily it didn't make her too nauseous. "This thing with you and Phil reminds us of that situation. It felt like you slept together and got your hopes all the way up like Chuck did afterwards, you know? It made me really worried that Phil was just trying not to repeat mistakes, trying not to hurt you, without actually thinking about what he wanted."

Dan thought about that for a long few minutes before he shook his head. "But it's not like that. And even if it was, you wouldn't need to be such dicks about it."

"If I started randomly fucking a nineteen-year-old who I'd never shown interest in before, wouldn't you be worried?" Jaya asked, but she didn't wait for him to respond. "No, of course you wouldn't. Because you _are_ nineteen. That's not a bad thing, Dan, I just don't think you understand how young you seem to us."

"That's not fair," said Dan, feeling familiar defensiveness shoot to the forefront of the emotional tornado in his chest.

Jaya smiled. It looked a little sad, Dan thought. "I know, but I can't help it. You're a baby."

"Fuck off."

"You asked. I never said you'd like the answer."

"Did you at least tell Ollie and Michelle that you're on board with this now?" Dan asked, almost desperate for this babying to end. He didn't understand why they thought there was such a big difference between his age and theirs. He was an adult, he'd been living on his own - well, in the dorms and then with Jaya - for almost an entire year now, and he hadn't exactly been treated as a child in his family's home. "You said you're going to try, right? You should tell them that. I know they've been bothering Phil."

"I can," said Jaya. She looked around for her phone, which Dan already knew was still in her bedroom. "You know it's going to take some time, though. With Michelle especially."

"I know," said Dan. "But I think we all have to try."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone and especially to my gdoc pals! ♥
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/620243815169736704/slutville-population-two-chapter-nine)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your massive support! i'm having so much fun here and i'm glad you are too ♥ 
> 
> see you on sunday!

Dan had gotten accustomed to having Phil within arm's reach this past week or so. At the very most, Phil's bedroom door had been between them while they slept, existing as a barrier that would dissolve come morning. He tried to convince himself that he was inviting Phil over because it was a good way to keep up appearances and not because the idea of sleeping by himself in his bed didn't seem appealing. It didn't really work.

Thankfully, Phil didn't ask any questions. He came over with a backpack slung over his shoulder and greeted Dan with a kiss at the door. Dan's heart fluttered, and he wondered if he would ever get completely used to the way Phil kissed him.

Jaya was feeling a lot better, so they ordered takeaway and watched a bad horror movie while they tucked into it. Sitting on the floor around his shitty coffee table with two of his best friends, booing at bad special effects, stealing bites of each other's food - it all felt so familiar and relaxing to Dan. It was almost a shock when Phil finished eating and wrapped his arm loosely around Dan's shoulders, because the rest of the meal had felt so much like what they'd regularly do together. The reminder that they were acting out a new type of closeness had slipped his mind entirely.

It didn't matter, though, because Phil was still comparing the film to something else he and Jaya had apparently seen. Dan was the only one fazed by the casual cuddling. He kept waiting for Jaya to raise her eyebrows or make a face, but she never did. Maybe speaking to her had done some real good.

Even though the movie was bad, Dan still found his heart pounding at the climax of it. He curled closer to Phil, settling a hand on one of Phil's knees for something that he could grip next time he got jumpscared, and Phil's arm tightened around his shoulders in response.

"Want to watch something else?" Jaya asked as soon as the credits started to roll. "I've got the Blair Witch sequel kicking around somewhere. It's so fucking bad, you've got no idea."

If Dan were to make a list of things that he never wanted to watch again, The Blair Witch Project was at the very top of it. He grimaced and squeezed Phil's knee hard, hoping that he'd get the idea and decline for both of them. Dan hated being the one to say no to horror films, because it always made him feel like he was so much younger and more cowardly than his friends were.

Phil was always good about understanding what Dan was thinking, and this time was no different. He shook his head and gave Jaya a friendly enough grin. "Not tonight. Think we're just going to head to bed, actually."

It was barely gone eleven. Jaya raised her eyebrows and laughed, but she acquiesced easily enough.

"Sure. Clean your mess before you do. And try to keep it down, yeah?"

Dan knew that he was blushing, but he didn't think he could be blamed for it. He untangled himself from Phil and cleared the whole coffee table, even Jaya's things, to give himself an excuse to hide in the kitchen. Tossing the takeaway containers and cleaning the cups gave Dan an opportunity to get his imagination back under control.

He had been so close to throwing caution to the fucking wind the previous night. Honestly, he would have done anything Phil asked if he'd had another five minutes of snogging. Maybe two minutes.

But neither of them had been drinking tonight, and they had no real reason to start kissing again once the door closed between them and Jaya, so it should be fine. Dan told himself over and over again that it was going to be nothing new, but he wasn't sure that he believed it.

Even if he didn't get his tongue in Phil's mouth again tonight, they'd still get pressed together from the cuddling that Phil insisted on. Dan should have gotten off before he invited Phil over - there would have been no way for Phil to know if he had, no way to prove it even if he somehow read Dan's mind - because even the thought of curling up against Phil under the duvet was making him feel a little hot all over. He wondered if Phil was feeling that strain, too, or if he'd already given in.

Dan dried and put away the handful of dinner dishes to waste another couple of minutes. He had to admit to himself that he'd have a very hard time saying no if Phil asked. All he could hope was that Phil wouldn't ask.

He wondered if Phil would have gone for it last night. He couldn't know for sure, but he thought that Phil probably would have went along with it if Dan had dragged him somewhere private at the party. Something told him that the only thing that had kept their pants on so far was Dan's own resolve not to fuck up their friendship.

And that resolve... it wasn't as strong now.

Dan dawdled in the kitchen for as long as he could manage, but he couldn't stay in there forever. He waved off Jaya's pointed goodnight on his way past her and breathed a sigh of relief when he got his bedroom door closed behind him.

"Did the movie scare you?"

Of course, he wasn't actually alone in here. Dan shook his head, still leaning back against the door, as he tried to get his heart rate under control.

Phil was already in hideous pyjama pants, long legs stretched out, and Dan was trying to focus on that so he wouldn't get caught up on the more affecting details. Phil's bare chest, for one, or the glasses crookedly shoved onto his nose. As much as he didn't have romantic feelings for Phil anymore, he couldn't ignore how attractive the guy looked when he was getting ready for bed. Or how attractive he was when he first woke up. Or -

"Nah, I'm okay," he said, which was mostly the truth. The movie hadn't done very much in comparison to the genre's usual effect on him. It was Phil that was causing this - the weight of his arm over Dan's shoulders, the way he was sprawled so comfortably across Dan's sheets, the memory of his tongue on Dan's neck. "You look cozy."

"Could be cozier," Phil said with a cheeky sort of grin. He shifted his phone into one hand so he could pat the mattress with the other. "Come on in, the water's fine."

"You're such a fucking dork."

That didn't stop Dan from feeling another flush of heat roll down his body. He undressed where he was, and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed when Phil didn't look up from his phone screen the whole time. Dan felt far too hot all over to try fucking around with a shirt or trousers tonight. He flopped onto his sheets in nothing but his pants, and Phil still didn't look at him.

For a while, there was nothing but the sound of their breathing as they mucked about on their phones. It felt as though it lasted for hours, but the clock at the top of his screen told Dan that it was just his perception. At most, they were quiet for ten minutes.

The stretch of silence was helpful, though. Whatever had been pulling taut between them since Phil kissed his neck had loosened. Dan's heart started to calm down and so did his mind, lulling him into a tranquility that he'd never before associated with Phil. Their shoulders were a single shift away from pressing together, and Dan found that almost all of his peripheral attention had focused onto his own bare shoulder and how close Phil's was to it. That was slightly distracting from the peacefulness, but didn't ruin it completely.

"I can't believe you wanted Jaya to think we were," Dan started, but he cut himself off before he actually said the word. He wasn't shy when it came to talking about sex, but he'd just gotten himself settled into a calm that wouldn't last if he were to start thinking about what Phil had implied.

Phil laughed. "Well, you didn't want to watch another scary movie. I was doing you a favour."

"Were you?" Dan teased, tossing his phone aside. He'd exhausted all of the apps that his crappy phone could hold, and it was much more fun to grin at the side of Phil's face and watch him roll his eyes.

"Course I was," said Phil.

"I know you think you did," said Dan, not bothering to keep the smile out of his voice. "But now she's out there thinking we have the quietest, boring-est sex known to man."

There was something like accelerated dawning comprehension that crossed Phil's expression before it settled on exasperation. Dan hadn't even made the joke outright, hadn't threatened anything, but Phil was already on the same page as him. Phil finally looked away from his phone and said, "Dan, don't."

Dan bit back a giggle. "Don't what?"

"Don't do what you're planning," said Phil. "You don't have to make porn noises."

"I know I don't have to," said Dan, "but it would be funny."

"It wouldn't. Don't."

They'd known each other for a pretty long time now. Dan thought that, honestly, Phil should have known better than to tell him _not_ to do something. Dan had never met a situation that he couldn't make a big joke out of, and he'd never made a joke that he couldn't take too far, and Phil knew that about him. He made a big show of clearing his throat before he moaned exactly like something out of porn.

Phil was laughing but trying to look appalled, and his phone got tossed somewhere so that he could try and cover Dan's mouth with his hand. Dan squirmed easily out of the way and kept making those loud, obnoxious noises that were entertaining Phil as much as they were mortifying him.

He was prepared for Phil to try and smother him with a pillow or something, so he was already holding his hands up in a defensive position when Phil jumped on him. 

It wasn't the first time that they'd rolled around like puppies play-fighting in response to something stupid one of them was doing, but it was definitely the first time they'd done so when they were alone in bed. Dan knew he was stronger than Phil, but Phil fought dirty. His quick fingers were tickling Dan's ribs before Dan could even try to overpower him. Dan laughed, the thrill of messing around with a friend and trying to win taking over his whole brain.

That was his reasoning, anyway, for not noticing what was happening until he'd successfully pinned Phil. Dan's knees were on either side of him and their hands were tangled together. He was still giggling after Phil's laughter had faded.

Dan blinked back into reality. Phil wasn't trying to continue their pathetic version of wrestling, and he'd turned his face into one of the pillows like he thought that would hide how red his face had gotten. Dan was about to ask what the problem was when he shifted and realised exactly what was making Phil act like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Oh," said Dan, unthinking. "You're -"

"It's not you," Phil interrupted. His face was a shade that Dan had never seen it go, spreading down his bare chest in splotches. It was kind of mesmerizing. "I just - it's been a while, obviously, and you were making _sounds_ and - it's nothing personal, is all I'm saying."

Dan might have believed him, except that Phil couldn't look him in the eye.

It would have been smarter to make a joke and roll off of Phil, maybe, but Dan felt like he was waiting. Waiting for Phil to be the one to make the joke or for Phil to push it further or for Phil to do _something_. Phil only bit his lip and refused to meet Dan's curious eyes, and that's when it hit Dan.

He'd been hoping that Phil wouldn't be the one to ask, but of course he wouldn't be. Phil only asked for things that he already knew he would be able to get.

This was completely up to Dan right now. His head was fucking swimming with the amount of control he had over the situation. After some silence where he waited for Phil and Phil waited for him, he made up his mind.

"I mean," Dan said slowly, "I don't think it counts as you losing the challenge if someone else gets you off."

Phil finally looked at him. His expression was completely inscrutable, but his cheeks were still flushed a pretty red. "That an offer?"

"We aren't sleeping with anyone else for like three weeks still," said Dan. It was strange to have a full conversation when he could feel Phil's dick pressed against his thigh, but he wasn't about to make a move without at least attempting to talk about it first. "You're horny, I'm horny, it's not like we have to go out of our way to make it happen."

"You don't do this," Phil said, quiet, but he wasn't saying no.

"Will we still be friends if you see my dick?" Dan asked, happy to see a sparkle of amusement in Phil's eyes.

"Obviously we will be. You just - you keep acting like I ruin all my friendships, I figured you'd never -"

"I think we can fuck without strings attached," Dan said before Phil could get a proper ramble going. He felt like his heart was in his throat, like he was on the precipice of a cliff and a hairsbreadth away from tumbling off. "Well, except for the string of us being in a relationship that's not even real, but c'mon. We should get something out of this, shouldn't we? If you don't want to, cool, go hit the showers and we won't talk about your boner anymore."

There was a low hum of a noise that sounded like it came from deep in Phil's chest. His fingers interlocked properly with Dan's and squeezed, hard, like he didn't want to voice what he was thinking.

Dan wasn't going to let him get away with it this time. He raised an eyebrow and waited for Phil to use his words once again.

"Okay," Phil said when it was obvious that Dan wasn't going to make any other moves without hearing it. He blinked up at Dan through his glasses and tried for something like a smirk - it just looked like a regular smile to Dan, like Phil was too relieved to get something sexier out of it. "Yeah, alright. I'd like that. But the bet's still on, babe."

"Guess someone else will just have to make me come," Dan grinned. Phil's laugh in response made something in his chest flutter, and he leaned down to press their mouths together before his brain could figure out a name for it.

After the party, Dan had figured that he knew what it was like to kiss Phil. He couldn't have been more wrong - nothing could have prepared him for what it was like when Phil kissed him with this kind of purpose. Any doubts that were still lingering in Dan's mind were washed away, like all that mattered was Phil arching up to kiss him deeper and tangling a hand in his hair.

Dan made an involuntary noise and allowed himself to be kissed within an inch of his life, Phil nipping at his lip and sucking on his tongue like he thought he had to put everything he had into a single kiss. It wasn't anything to complain about, but Dan still pulled back before he lost his breath completely.

He rested his forehead against Phil's for a moment. He was grinning, but he wasn't about to open his eyes to see if Phil was too. "You don't do things by halves," he laughed.

"No, I don't," Phil agreed. Dan was focusing far too much on Phil's fingers running through his hair, and he jolted like he'd been electrocuted when Phil's other hand ran along the side of his waist. "Sorry, ticklish?"

"Yeah," said Dan. He pulled even further back before he opened his eyes.

Phil was obviously always hot, but having him underneath Dan with a lazy grin and crooked glasses was really doing it for him. The play-fighting hadn't gotten Dan hard, mostly because he had a pretty one-track mind when there was something competitive at stake, but it was frankly embarrassing how quickly he got there from some making out and Phil looking at him like that. As if he knew exactly what Dan was thinking, Phil raised his eyebrows and smiled with his tongue between his teeth.

"What d'you want to do?" Phil asked, still mapping Dan's side and ribs with his cool palm. His touch was leaving goosebumps in its wake, and Dan was so distracted that Phil laughed and tugged at his hair a little. "Hello? You in there? Earth to Daniel?"

"I don't believe for a second that you're from Earth," said Dan. He always felt a sense of pride when he made Phil laugh, but it felt so much stronger right now.

Everything that Dan was experiencing felt so much stronger than it usually did. He blamed it on the novelty, how different it felt to be tangled in bed with someone he trusted with his life. Dan had slept with a lot of people. Too many, some might have said, but he didn't subscribe to the ideals of sex being entwined with self-worth. The point was, he shouldn't be struggling so much to just make something _happen_. His thoughts and his heart rate were both all over the place, making it hard for him to focus entirely on Phil in the moment.

When Phil tugged at his hair again, dragging Dan back to the present, Dan did his very best to shut his brain the fuck off. He smiled apologetically and hummed, wriggling purposefully as he considered the question that Phil originally asked. Phil's wandering hand found one of Dan's nipples and pulled lightly at the piercing there, and Dan's brain short-circuited.

"Fuck," he breathed, and Phil looked altogether too smug. He leaned back down to capture Phil's magic mouth again, just for long enough to get Phil's breathing ragged, before he said anything else. "If I blow you, will you get me back?"

"What kind of person do you take me for?" Phil asked, all fake offense and keen eyes, and Dan had to laugh.

"A lazy one," said Dan.

"Well. Okay, sure. But I will!"

"Holding you to that," Dan informed him, pressing another quick kiss to Phil's lips before he moved off of Phil's lap. It might have been nicer if Dan kissed a path down Phil's torso or something, but he honestly didn't have the patience or the coordination to do that right now. He got comfortable between Phil's legs right away instead, pressing his palms against the waistband of Phil's pyjamas. "Help me with these, I don't want you to knee me in the face."

Phil giggled. "I'll have you know that I have never unintentionally injured a sexual partner," he said as he wiggled out of his pants. Then he seemed to think about it. "Okay, er, maybe just the once."

"I don't believe you," said Dan, but that didn't really matter at the moment. All that mattered was the fact that he had Phil naked in his bed, and Dan's mouth felt like it was going dry at the sight. He spent a couple of seconds wondering if it would be weird if he licked his lips to fix that, but then Phil's hand settled in his hair again and Dan decided that, too, didn't matter.

Dan had seen a good number of dicks at this point in his life, but being up close and personal with one of his best friends made him want to laugh. Not because Phil's dick was anything to laugh about, because it _definitely_ wasn't, but because he never would have imagined he'd be in this position. It didn't feel like this was real.

He didn't like to brag - much - but he was something of an old pro at this. He wrapped a steadying hand around the base of Phil's cock before taking it easily into his mouth. Phil bucked into it a bit, seemingly unable to stop himself after so many days of not jerking off, but Dan ignored his breathed apology and took it in stride. He pressed the head of Phil's cock against the inside of his cheek, and when his eyes flicked upwards Phil's breath audibly hitched. Either at the eye contact or at the sight of Dan's mouth stretched around him, Dan couldn't be certain, but it made him want to smile as he sank deeper.

Phil was making these low noises that went straight to Dan's cock, and he gripped Dan's hair like it was a lifeline. Dan knew this wouldn't take very long, but the speed at which Phil started swearing and his hips started twitching still made him feel a little smug. He closed his eyes so that he could really revel in the weight of Phil against his tongue. He gave Phil's balls a gentle squeeze, like a hello, and tried to lose himself completely. 

If Dan was honest with himself, he had no idea if he would be allowed to do this again. He couldn't believe he was allowed to do it once, at all, ever. In a weird way, it almost felt like he didn't deserve it.

Like he was proving something, Dan took Phil's dick as far into his throat as he could manage without more warm-up. The feeling of his mouth being so full was always a good one, something he had a bit of a fixation about, but it was so much better when he heard Phil's breathy, "Dan, I -"

Dan hummed. He let his jaw go slack and stopped bobbing his head, allowing Phil to do whatever he needed to.

"Jesus," Phil was saying, rocking his hips tentatively up. When it didn't make Dan gag, he tightened his grip in Dan's hair. "You're so fucking good at this."

The praise, coupled with the sensation of Phil holding him in place and fucking his mouth, was a rush through Dan. He pressed his straining cock against the mattress to attempt some small amount of relief, but he'd misjudged how far gone he already was. Dan moaned around Phil's dick as his own orgasm hit, way too early, and he felt himself burning with a combination of embarrassment and arousal that was absolutely intoxicating. Dan didn't even mind when Phil came down his throat without giving him any warning, because he was still shivering through the aftershocks.

He pulled off and took a couple of deep lungfuls of breath. He'd barely got his head back on straight when Phil yanked him back up into a searing kiss, and all that effort went out the window. Phil's hand brushed over Dan's nipple rings before it trailed down his stomach. Dan grabbed it before it got too far, because his pants were fucking disgusting and his dick was oversensitive. 

"What -" Phil started to ask as he broke the kiss, looking down between their bodies. Dan hadn't gone soft yet and his pants were black, but somehow Phil still _knew_. "Oh, okay. Guess I win, then."

Dan shoved at him with a squawk of a noise and tried not to dwell on the warmth that had settled in his chest. "Fuck you."

"Maybe tomorrow," said Phil, grinning through a yawn. "Think I'm spent."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone following along, whether you're in my google docs or here on ao3! i appreciate you all so goddamn much
> 
> also, happy birthday to dan. my unplanned present was a fictional orgasm. which i think in a way he'd really appreciate
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/620601186184298496/slutville-population-two-chapter-ten)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so so so much for your support on this! it's a blast to write, honestly. i hope y'all like this chapter too!
> 
> see you on thursday!

Dan must have crashed hard the previous night, because he didn't even remember falling asleep. He remembered cleaning himself up with the non-disgusting parts of his pants, tossing them aside to deal with in the morning, smacking away Phil's wandering hands, and then his memory just went blank. He woke slowly, not all at once, and it took him a few seconds to figure out what had lulled him out of slumber so early.

It was morning now, weak rays of sunlight spilling through the curtainless window, and Phil's hands were wandering again.

They were soft and almost hesitant in their exploration of Dan's bare skin. It wasn't inappropriate so much as it was curiosity, because his knuckles were currently brushing over the back of Dan's hand instead of teasing him in any way. Phil didn't seem to be trying to wake him up _or_ trying to be sneaky. In fact, the touches didn't seem to be for Dan at all.

Still, the sensation of Phil's fingers trailing from his wrist to his shoulder in one smooth motion had Dan shivering with something like anticipation. A small noise came from Dan's throat, unintentional, and Phil's fingertips paused on his collarbone.

"You're awake," he said. His voice was low and rough with sleep, and Dan couldn't suppress another shiver. He wondered if Phil had any idea of how effective this was or if it was completely by accident that his soft touches and morning voice were getting Dan hard with embarrassing ease. Phil traced shapes over Dan's clavicle, and Dan could hear the smile in his voice when he kept talking. "Good morning. Sleep well?"

"Slept great," said Dan, tossing an arm over his face so he didn't feel the urge to look at Phil. He didn't know if he could handle seeing morning Phil right now. "You?"

Phil laughed. "Yeah, same. It helped that I came my brains out."

"What brains?"

There was a sudden sharpness, and Dan gasped when he realised that Phil was digging his nails into Dan's skin. Before Phil could say anything, Dan decided to let his stupid horny brain make the decisions.

With his free hand, Dan took hold of Phil's wrist. Phil let up with his nails immediately, like he thought Dan was pulling him away because it hurt or something, but Phil didn't know this side of Dan very well if he thought that minor pain wasn't good for him. Instead of doing what Phil was clearly expecting him to, Dan guided Phil's hand under the covers.

"Oh, hello," Phil said, amused. Dan couldn't find it in himself to care about being teased when Phil's fingers were wrapping around his dick. His palm was so smooth and his small movements were just as curious as the rest of his touches this morning had been.

Dan didn't think he could handle soft and exploratory right now. He wrapped his own hand around Phil's and squeezed, burying his own groan into the crook of his elbow.

Phil laughed at him again. Dan didn't think he minded.

"You're so hard already," said Phil. He was so conversational about it, which felt a little ridiculous when he started wanking Dan with purpose. Dan's hand fell to the sheets and gripped tight as he nodded into his arm. Phil sidled closer, probably getting a better angle, and then his wet mouth was on Dan's neck.

"Feels good," Dan breathed. He kept his face hidden, but he happily stretched his neck to give Phil better access to it.

Just like the first time, Dan felt sparks go through his whole body at the sensation of Phil's mouth on his neck. His dick throbbed in Phil's tight grip as though the sensitive nerves in his neck were connected directly to it.

Dan was making noises. He didn't even realise he was until Phil started to hum against his neck in response, almost sympathetically. It reminded Dan of how Phil talked back to whining animals. That probably shouldn't have sent a fresh wave of arousal through Dan, but he was too tired and turned on to examine it too deeply.

It wasn't long before Phil's teeth made an appearance, a rather dull pressure against Dan's pulse point that made him groan. Dan wasn't shocked by it, because it wasn't exactly a secret that Phil was a biter, but he hadn't expected how affected he'd be by it.

"Shit," he hissed, hips bucking up into the tight heat of Phil's hand. Phil bit down harder in response, definitely hard enough to leave a mark, as his hips rocked into Dan's thigh. He must have put boxers or pyjamas back on sometime after Dan crashed, because there was a soft barrier between his cock and Dan's skin. Dan wondered absently if Phil had woken up hard or if he'd gotten that way just from touching Dan.

The idea that Phil was just as into this as he was made Dan's stomach muscles contract, and he bit down on his arm so he didn't moan loud enough to wake the whole building up. Phil made an appreciative sort of noise and kissed up to Dan's earlobe, which he happily tugged at with his teeth, before he started _saying_ things.

"You're so hot," Phil was saying into his ear as he quickened his hand. "Such a nice cock, such pretty sounds. Not a wonder you pull so easy."

Maybe the words themselves were good, but Dan still found himself laughing. Phil was trying so hard to make himself sound low and sexy, and it was frankly ridiculous. It wasn't like he needed to _try_ for either of those things, and it made everything that he said sound like a joke. Like he forgot who he was getting off or something.

"Shut the fuck up," Dan managed through his laughter, and then his whole body tensed as he came over Phil's fingers.

As soon as his brain came back on, Dan rolled on top of Phil and grinned down at him. His long fringe was hanging and he was sure that his face was a blushy mess, but Phil still smiled back. As he worked a hand inside Phil's pyjamas, Dan said, "That was so stupid."

"Wh-what was stupid?" Phil asked, but Dan wasn't sure that he really cared about the answer. Phil's eyes were glazing over a bit and his hands were resuming their exploration of Dan's skin. He ran his palms over each bump in Dan's back like it was Braille that he was trying to read. His breath hitched as Dan started jerking him off, fast, and kept grinning at him.

"Your cock is so nice," Dan mocked, lowering his voice into a comical imitation of Phil's already ridiculous attempt at sounding seductive.

Phil giggled, even as his cock throbbed in Dan's tight grip. "Well, it is. I w-wasn't lying."

"It was the way you said it," Dan informed him. He sat back on Phil's thighs so he could push Phil's pyjamas down, just enough to expose him. He fondled Phil's balls with his other hand, long past teasing. He wanted to make Phil come as soon as he possibly could. Maybe that would make Phil leave him alone for coming in his pants last night. Dan wasn't totally optimistic, since he was pretty sure Phil was gearing up for that to be long-term banter, but he had to try. "You were trying too hard."

"Okay," Phil breathed, probably only half listening at this point. He squeezed Dan's thighs hard, his nails pressing into Dan's skin every time Dan paid special attention to the head of his dick. "Okay, fine, I'll - stop talking to you during sex, then."

"I just mean you don't have to try," said Dan. He could tell that Phil was close by the way he was pulsing against Dan's fingers. "You're already sexy."

Phil grinned with his tongue between his teeth. He was squirming, unable to really move into Dan's touches with Dan's weight holding him down, and the pink flush that spread all the way from his cock to his face made him look so much prettier than Dan could have ever imagined.

After Phil came, biting his lip so hard that Dan worried he'd draw blood, his expression changed. There was something nervous in it now, that familiar anxiety of his, but Dan couldn't figure out what might have caused it. He tried to imagine himself in Phil's shoes, establishing a vague benefits agreement that happened to be exclusive with someone who used to moon over him, and he thought he understood what the problem was.

Phil probably didn't want him to get attached. Well, Dan was a pro at fucking people without getting attached.

He leaned down and kissed Phil, a quick peck that hopefully didn't scream _emotions are happening!_ \- because they weren't. There was nothing here that Dan couldn't handle.

"You still owe me head," Dan whispered, like it was a secret.

Phil's expression cleared. He was smiling again, and he pinched Dan's thigh. "And you still owe _me_ dinner for making yourself come."

\--

Once Phil returned from work, they both paid their debts. Jaya wouldn't be home for hours yet, so Phil had sunk to his knees in front of the couch and waggled his eyebrows at Dan until they were both laughing. It seemed less funny once Phil's pretty mouth was wrapped around Dan's cock. Phil's cheekbones were so prominent when his cheeks were hollowed like that and his tongue was doing wonders. Luckily, he kept his eyes closed for most of it, so Dan didn't have to be pinned to the couch with Phil's knowing gaze while he struggled not to come down Phil's throat right away. He still didn't last very long - how could he, really - but Phil didn't seem to mind. He just wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned before asking what Dan was making for supper.

\--

"What are boyfriends even supposed to do?"

Dan blinked. He and Phil were playing Mario Kart while Jaya's shower singing echoed through the whole flat. The question had come out of nowhere, probably timed exactly right so that Dan would miss the double item box. Dickhead.

"What do you mean?" Dan asked as soon as he'd finished kicking at Phil for his sneakiness.

"Like," said Phil, and then he stopped. When Dan chanced a look over at him, he seemed like he was lost in thought. "Like... am I doing this right?"

Oh. Dan couldn't explain why, but that tugged at his heart a bit. He knew that Phil's idea of commitment was a regular local bar, the same box of hair dye for a decade, never taking a day off work. Commitment to another person in any sort of romantic way had never even been on Phil's agenda, as far as Dan knew.

It was strange to consider that. Dan loved the way he lived his life right now, sure. He was having fun and learning things about himself and all that jazz, so he didn't exactly have an end date for sleeping around and partying. But the thing was, he knew he _would_ change his lifestyle at some point. There was nothing specific, just a vague dream of his own future. A more well-adjusted version of himself, maybe, who got paid a lot better and had someone to come home to at the end of the day. Maybe even kids, somewhere even further in the distance.

None of that was applicable to him right now. But for possibly the first time, Dan was wondering if Phil had _ever_ had a vision like that of his future. Did he want to keep a wall between himself and the rest of the world forever? Was he happy with living like this for the rest of his life? It wasn't like it was a terrible way to live or anything, obviously, Dan just didn't know what Phil was thinking.

Or was he... scared? Phil only asked for things that he already knew he would be able to get. Did he know that a real relationship with someone was even an option for him somewhere down the line, if he wanted it?

"Of course you're doing this right," Dan finally said, overcome with the need to reassure his friend. "You'll be good at it if you ever decide to do it for real."

"Thanks," said Phil. He didn't sound convinced.

"It's not like anyone really knows what they're doing in their first relationship," said Dan. He lapped Baby Mario and shrugged. "As much as this isn't a reality, you're still playing a part that you've never done before, right? So it's similar. Like, er... training wheels."

"You're my training wheels?" Phil laughed. Dan felt some of his own tension melt at the sound of it.

"I'm your training wheels," Dan agreed, wondering exactly how long it would be before this came back to bite him in the ass. "You might as well use me."

Phil tried to hit him with a green shell and kicked him when it missed.

"That doesn't seem like a nice thing to do," Phil said slowly.

"You've got my permission," said Dan. He didn't even bother gloating when he won, he just put the controller aside. "You're wondering what boyfriends do, but you've done alright about being one so far. Taking me out, cuddling up, pretending my curry was edible. Those are boyfriend things. It's not all that different from best friend things, really, you just have to be more vulnerable about it."

"I don't know if I know how to be," Phil said, his brows knitting together like it was a difficult thing for him to admit.

Dan smiled. "You're doing it right now, dumbass."

"Oh. Right."

"Trust me," said Dan, "I'll be the first one to tell you if you fuck up this month."

"Thanks," said Phil. He was smiling again, but it didn't fully reach his eyes. Dan wished he knew what to say to make that anxiety go away completely. "You're a good friend, Dan."

"Duh. Play me again, _without_ the cheating this time."

"What cheating?" Phil asked, overly innocent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to the usual (betas, friends, and all of you) for keeping me motivated with something that is a little out of my normal comfort zone. let me know how you're feeling!
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/620906711721623553/slutville-population-two-chapter-eleven)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having such a good time writing this, and i'm glad you guys are along on this journey with me! however, i'm starting work again and need to cut updates back to once a week. i'd rather do sundays, so this is the last thursday you'll get a chapter! thanks for understanding ♥
> 
> see you on sunday!

"Dan, what are you doing?"

Dan blinked. He was standing on one of their dining chairs to dust a light fixture, one headphone in, and he didn't know how to answer for a moment. "Er, cleaning. What's it look like?"

"It looks like you're about to break your neck," Jaya said, hanging her jacket up. "Why are you cleaning?"

"I just thought the kitchen looked nice when I gave it some attention," said Dan. He finished dusting and carefully got down from the rickety chair. He probably didn't need to stand on it to reach, but it helped to be able to see the whole light. "So I figured the rest of the flat could look nice too, I guess. You said you wanted to do a games night here at some point, right?"

It was part of the truth. The full reasoning had a bit more to do with waking up alone and realising that his bedroom was fucking depressing without Phil in it. He'd managed to avoid thinking about it for most of the time that he'd been living here, but Phil had a tendency of making any room feel comfortable and warm. It took Phil leaving for a few days for Dan to figure out that his room was neither of those things.

Phil was at his parents' for some family thing that he hadn't bothered going into detail about when Dan's hand was up his shirt, and Dan hadn't expected to feel the loss of him so strongly.

He was used to being alone, after all. He'd been alone for the majority of his life, and he usually enjoyed it. Closing his bedroom door used to be a relief, somewhere that he could shed all the expectations and performative attitudes that the rest of the world imposed. 

Now, it just felt empty.

So Dan had made a few lists. Things to do and things to buy that would help turn his room back into something like a safe haven. He'd been cleaning for most of the day, and he'd ended up doing a lot more chores than his original list had included. He might as well tidy the kitchen when taking empty plates to it, right? And if he was vacuuming his own room, it only made sense to do the rest of the flat as well. By the time Jaya got home from work, he'd gotten distracted at least a dozen times and moved some furniture around in nearly every room. 

"We talked about that, yeah," said Jaya, amusement still colouring her tone. "But I thought you were just starting projects you'd never finish again."

Dan threw the dust rag at her head. "Fuck off."

"Did you do my room as well?" she asked, unbothered by his huffiness.

"No, you don't deserve that. There's a pile of junk in front of your door from all the random shit of yours I found in every other fucking room, though. How'd your yellow eyeliner get in the games cabinet?"

"Dunno," Jaya said with a little shrug. "I'll go put my random shit away then, shall I?"

Jaya refused to help clean out of principle, but she happily tagged along when Dan went to a couple of secondhand shops for things to scatter around the flat. She had some opinions on things they'd be putting in common areas, like making fun of him for picking up another couple of cacti or arguing about what colour their _blue_ sofa was when Dan was looking at artwork, but for the most part she left him to his own devices. Dan found himself wondering what Phil would think every time he picked anything up, but he did his best to shut that part of himself down. It was bad enough that he wasn't looking forward to sleeping alone again.

As soon Dan had put the last new cushion on the couch, Jaya had announced that they needed to invite someone over to see the change. Phil was at his parents' and Michelle was dogsitting for a neighbour or something, but Ollie agreed to come hang out at short notice. Jaya had other friends, but she was kind enough to keep the options limited to people that Dan liked and trusted to be in his home. 

"What brought this on?" Ollie asked after he'd finished making the appropriate ooh-ing noises at all the changes Dan had made. Jaya had tried to claim responsibility for some of the work, and Dan had demanded she pay for dinner as penance. 

"I just think it's nicer now," said Dan. He flopped onto the sofa and gestured for Ollie to join him. "Don't you?"

"Well, obviously," Ollie said dryly. All day, Jaya had been giving Dan these amused looks that he didn't fully understand, and now the same expression was on Ollie's face.

"It's not because of Phil," Dan said, which just made Ollie grin wider.

"Sure it's not."

"It's because it didn't feel homey," Dan explained. He wondered if the heat in his face was as obvious as it felt. "And I wanted to be able to have you guys over, y'know? It'd be nice to actually host game night sometime."

Ollie's expression didn't soften, but he nodded like he understood. "Technically, 'us guys' includes Phil."

"Nobody likes a pedant, Oliver."

"Coming from you -"

"Oh, shut up."

The teasing didn't bother Dan very much. If anything, he was relieved that Ollie wasn't holding something against him. It had been months since Ollie had asked him out and gotten let down as gently as Dan knew how, and they hadn't actually talked about it since. Dan hadn't even told anyone about it. Maybe Ollie had, maybe he'd searched for comfort that Dan hadn't been able to give him, but he didn't seem to be annoyed by Dan's attitude changing for someone else.

Dan thought that he'd probably be annoyed, if it had been him. He'd experienced that sting of _oh, it's just specifically me that he doesn't want_ back in secondary school, and it wasn't something he'd been eager to be on the other side of. Ollie was cool, though.

Somehow, Dan had gotten lucky with these people. He didn't know how long he'd be allowed to have it before it fell apart like everything else solid in his life had managed to do so far, but he didn't like thinking that far in the future. It was easier to pretend like friends were forever and trust couldn't be broken and aches could heal.

Maybe that wasn't pretend after all. In his new and improved lounge, surrounded by soft lighting and pretty things and his joking friends, Dan thought that optimism felt okay for the moment.

\--

Dan's phone interrupted a superhero movie by vibrating off the coffee table with a call. He considered letting it go to voicemail, but a glance at the caller ID changed his mind. He ignored his friends exchanging glances and picked up with a quiet, "Hi."

"Hey!" Phil's voice was crackly as it came through Dan's shitty phone speaker, but it also sounded happy. "You free?"

"Yeah, let me just go to my room," said Dan. He pulled an apologetic face at his friends, but they were too busy smirking at him to pay it any mind. Ollie wolf-whistled, and Dan felt his face burn as he took his phone and his dignity into the other room. "I think Jaya and Ollie think we're gross."

"That's a good sign," Phil said cheerfully. "All good couples are a little gross."

Dan couldn't help but laugh. The contentment he'd felt earlier was still deep in his bones, making his whole body feel like it was floating a little bit, and he sank down on his mattress. He hadn't gotten around to hanging the stuff he'd bought up on his walls yet, but his dining chair bedside table had been successfully replaced with a small wooden stool he'd stumbled across. Now the dining chair lived at the table, and Dan had something that looked a bit nicer in his room. Its white paint was chipped, but it was sturdy. Dan kind of liked the metaphor in that.

He wondered if Phil would like the small differences in here or the bigger differences that Jaya had sort of helped with in the main areas. It was possible that he wouldn't even notice without being told. He wasn't the most observant person that Dan had ever met, after all.

"Are they?" Dan asked, remembering that he was supposed to be having a conversation. Phil laughed, and the sound of it made Dan smile.

"I think so. My brother has been texting his girlfriend, like, the entire time he's been here. He's probably on the phone with her now, mooning about how much he misses her or some rot."

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?"

There was a split second of quiet, and then Phil was laughing again. Dan closed his eyes and stretched out, idly wishing that Phil wasn't out in the village for another night. Sleeping alone had sucked even more than Dan had expected it to. He'd had a very hard time falling asleep, and staying asleep for longer than short bursts had turned out to be impossible. Reaching out to find cool sheets where Phil's body recently slept had been too confusing to Dan's unconscious mind, and he had been paying for that sleeplessness all day.

"Okay, yeah, that's fair. I guess I am. My parents think it's nice that Mar and I are both 'serious' about someone or whatever."

Dan could almost see the air quotes that Phil would make around the word _serious_ if he were here. Dan was so distracted by the mental image that had sneaked up on him that the meaning of Phil's words didn't fully sink in at first. Then - "Wait. You told your parents about me?"

"Yeah," Phil said easily. "They're friends with Michelle's mum, so I figured they'd find out through the gossip chain sooner or later. Should I not have?"

"I can't believe you can just do that," Dan admitted. "Like... you just _told_ them you have a boyfriend. And they think it's nice."

"Yeah," Phil said again, much softer. "I'm lucky like that."

"It's fine that you told them," said Dan, remembering that Phil had asked him a question. He tugged at a loose thread in his t-shirt, a somewhat destructive fidgeting habit he'd yet to break. "It might be weird if they, like, want to meet up or something. I think that'd be going a bit far for a joke."

"No, yeah, totally," said Phil. "I'll just make something up if they ask, but they probably won't. Wouldn't want to spook me out of being normal, right?"

It was a familiar enough sentiment for Dan's own brain, but it sounded so much worse when Phil said it about himself. He didn't even sound bitter or anything - the mildness almost made it worse.

"Who wants to be normal?" Dan asked, doing his best to sound dismissive of the whole idea. "Normal is boring."

"Normal is sad," Phil agreed.

"Tell me what you did today," said Dan. He didn't want to talk about normal anymore, not when he was in such a strangely good mood, but he did want to keep listening to Phil talk.

Phil went through his day in comically minute detail, describing every ingredient he'd put into his sandwich at lunch, and Dan found himself laughing along. Phil hadn't had a very eventful day, but the way he told it... it made Dan wish he was there.

It helped that Phil's voice was so relaxing on its own. Low and amused and right in Dan's ear, it was almost enough to make up for the lack of body heat next to him.

Shamelessly interrupting Phil's yarn about his aunt's broken ankle, Dan said, "This is stupid."

"Are you calling my story stupid?" Phil asked cheerfully. Dan's lips tugged up into a smile before he could stop himself, but that was okay. It wasn't like there was anybody here to see him.

"No, I'm calling myself stupid," said Dan. He stretched out his limbs again and sighed, playing up the drama of it all so that it sounded less sincere. "It's stupid how big my bed feels without someone here to warm it."

Phil laughed. The sound traveled through Dan's body, sparking unexpected nerves along the way. On impulse, he slid a palm under the front of his t-shirt and left it there, pressed against his rib cage. He could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady for the moment.

"Miss me?" Phil teased.

"Miss parts of you, I guess," Dan shot back.

"Oh, it's like that?" Phil asked, voice somehow even lower than it had been. Dan could hear the smile in it, though, and that made him grin at his own ceiling. 

God, he felt like an idiot. His heart fluttered against his ribs like a hummingbird trying to escape its cage, which reminded him of when he'd first met Phil. Back when the sight of his smile or the sound of his voice was enough to brighten Dan's day. And his days had needed a lot of brightening. He'd still been forcing himself to go to class and call his parents and generally live his life in that desperate search of _normal_ that he'd finally relinquished to the ether.

"Suppose it is."

Phil hummed in something like interest, and Dan pushed every thought from his head except for Phil's voice and his own heartbeat. "And here I thought you didn't like it when I talked to you."

"Dick," Dan said fondly. "I said not to try so hard. Like, don't try to talk like you're the star of some obscure porno, just talk about what you're thinking and feeling and shit. You know, like a human being does."

"Even if what I'm thinking is stupid?"

"Especially if what you're thinking is stupid."

"Okay," said Phil. "Well, what I'm thinking right now is how weird it would be if I could just detach parts of myself and send them to Manchester for you. Like, there's this episode of Angel where a man can do that! So when you said you miss parts of me, that's what I started thinking about."

Dan couldn't have held back the laughter if he tried. He wondered if the sound of it was making Phil smile, too. "Oh, that's fucking horrifying."

"You asked!"

"I did, that was on me." Dan tried to get his giggles under control. He trailed his fingers further up his chest and felt his breath catch when they brushed over his piercing. "Maybe you should let me take the lead."

"I think I can manage that," Phil said, but he sounded distracted. "Are you touching yourself?"

The blunt, conversational tone was _so_ much better than his attempt at sounding seductive had been. Dan tugged at one of his nipple rings and exhaled shakily. "Yeah. You should, too. It's good."

"If you insist," Phil teased. Dan's phone speaker was too crappy for him to hear small noises or shifts of fabric, but he knew that Phil had a hand around himself when a contented grunt came down the line. He still sounded like he was joking around when he added, "Now what?"

Sure, it was a joke, but Dan was more than happy to tell him what happened next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big ily to all of you and also specifically to my beta pals who are so good about making me sound better than i am ♥
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/621286486483124224/slutville-population-two-chapter-twelve)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy sunday! hope you're all enjoying the ride :')
> 
> see you next sunday!

Phil got back to Manchester while Dan was at work. Normally, Dan tried not to use his phone on the floor - his manager really didn't care, but the upper-class mums who shopped there certainly did. Today was different. He felt like his phone was an extra limb, something that he had to keep making sure was there every few minutes. Phil texted him when he left his parents' and some colour commentary from the bus ride, but Dan still felt like there was a weird physical distance between them that he wasn't used to at this point.

It wasn't even busy in the store. His manager was handling all the actual busywork, dusting surfaces and straightening displays while she sang along to the radio and they both waited for the bell on the front door to ring. Some combination of weather and time of day had kept the majority of their loiterers and customers at bay, and so Dan felt like he was obsessively looking at his phone every two minutes just for something to do.

Twenty minutes after his lunch break, Dan got another text from Phil. **Home!!!!! you should come over when you're done ^_^**

"What're you grinning about?"

Dan blinked up at his manager. He hadn't realised he was smiling.

"Oh, nothing," he said. He sent a quick affirmative before he slid his phone back into his pocket. It was pointless, since he was certain to reach for it again in another two minutes of boredom. "I've just got a date after my shift."

\--

Dan's earphones were at home, and the rainy walk to Phil's was just long enough for him to start spiraling. 

His stomach kept twisting in something like pleased anticipation, which was annoying. This wasn't actually a date, obviously. He'd hung out with Phil a hundred times. The only reason that it felt any different at all was the knowledge that he'd probably get to see Phil naked again.

This wasn't a date. He didn't know exactly why he slipped up, but that was all it had been. A slip-up. He hadn't been thinking about it enough - it wasn't like his coworkers were normally told anything about his personal life. They probably thought he was straight, since he hadn't said anything to the contrary, and he didn't make a habit of talking about his dating life - or lack thereof - at work. He could have said that he got a funny text. Or that he was talking to his nan. Or even the truth, that his friend was back in town after a few days, and he was happy about it.

He didn't even care that the rain was fucking up his hair. Phil had woken up with him enough times by now, seen him come right out of the shower, probably watched it curl through sweat dampening his forehead. Besides, this wasn't a date. He didn't need to look good to play Mario Kart and suck Phil off.

The thing was, Dan hadn't anticipated his body reacting this way to the change in their friendship. He supposed it made a twisted sort of sense, because the last time he'd had regular sex with someone, he'd been in love with her. That must have been why he was getting butterflies in his stomach now. He used to feel that with Valerie, sometimes, whenever things with her weren't in a constant tailspin.

But Dan wasn't a teenager anymore. Not _really_. He was turning twenty next month. More importantly, he knew how to control his emotional responses to sex now. He wasn't about to get attached to something that neither of them actually wanted just because his body was betraying him

He was still trying to figure out how to get more control over the situation when he buzzed up to Phil's flat. He didn't bother knocking, and Phil didn't bother telling him to.

"Hey," said Phil. He had a little smile on his face that looked genuine, and he waved from the stove. "I'm making curry."

"Smells good," Dan said, almost on autopilot.

"I’d say thanks, but all I did was dump the sauce in." Phil laughed, turning back to his pan. Dan was left staring at his profile, the way his shoulders hunched forwards, how his lips were still curved so appealingly.

Dan would not let his stupid butterflies impact this. "I'm gonna get into something dry," he announced, already peeling his hoodie off his arms.

Faced with the drawer of his own clean clothes in his best friend's apartment, Dan realised exactly how intertwined they'd become. It could have started the spiral all over again, but Dan decided not to think about it anymore. He didn't need to have an argument with himself in Phil's bedroom. Dinner smelled good, and Phil was smiling, so the issue of control over his reactions could wait. Dan made himself as comfortable as he could be with warm raindrops still clinging to his skin.

He'd known going into this that it was a bad idea. There were a million film and television plotlines about why having sex with friends was never a good plan, and Dan was nothing if not genre-savvy. He'd just thought he was better at logicking his emotions out of situations they weren't helpful in.

And some logic would be nice right about now, because Dan couldn't help wondering how much worse it would be to keep this up after their allotted month was up.

\--

It took a couple hours for Dan's brain to completely shut down from its unproductive trains of thought. Decent food, a bad movie, and Phil tucked against his side were the biggest contributing factors, but Dan was also pretty proud of himself for being able to recognise and stop cyclical overthinking before it kept him up all night.

Phil huffed a laugh. Dan wasn't paying a ton of attention to the film, so he didn't know if Phil was laughing at an actual joke or if it was the comically awful special effects that were getting him. He was a warm, solid presence against Dan's side.

Honestly, he never would have pegged Phil as a cuddler before this. Yeah, Phil was a touchy guy, but he also only ever wanted to be touched if he were the one initiating it. He'd tap at Ollie's arm constantly while telling a story, and then turn around and tense up if Ollie was the one to reach for a hug. He was like a housecat or something. Dan hid his own breathy laugh at the thought in Phil's birdnest hair.

Sometimes Phil still jerked away or stiffened if he wasn't expecting Dan's hands on him, but this fake relationship thing had really unlocked something in Phil. Ever since Dan had curled around him, that first night they slept in the same bed, Phil had been grabbing at him like he needed touch the same way he needed oxygen. 

Phil was playing with one of Dan's hands right now. He was absent-mindedly tracing every line in his palm and brushing his knuckles over all of Dan's fingers, and Dan recognised it as the same type of fidgeting that Phil used to express with excited tapping or snapping his fingers at his side. Dan was pretty fucking sure by this point that Phil hadn't had a chance to touch someone without barriers. All of the barriers that he and Dan had were strictly emotional.

And, frankly, they weren't very well-built. But Dan wasn't thinking about it.

"This is cinema," Phil whispered. Dan tuned back into what was going on just in time to see fake blood explode everywhere. A single shot later, the blood splatter pattern on the lead's shirt was completely different.

Dan snorted. "Yeah. Award material."

"You're distracted," said Phil. It wasn't accusatory or anything, it was just an observation, but Dan felt himself flush anyway.

"I dunno, had a long day at work." Dan didn't look at Phil, even when Phil turned to face him. He hadn't had a lot of experience with lying to Phil, and he had no idea if Phil was able to spot deception as easily as he was able to weave it for himself. The problem was so much more complicated than work. Dan was _not_ thinking about it.

The splatter pattern continuity fucked up again. Phil hummed.

"You want me to help get rid of some work stress?" he asked, letting go of Dan's hand to squeeze his thigh instead. His voice changed strangely in the middle of the question, like he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be using his usual tricks with Dan.

Dan had _just_ gotten his brain to be quiet. He knew that letting Phil touch him would help with that, but that wouldn't last for long. In the end, another orgasm would just pile onto the wave of anxiety that was waiting for Dan to acknowledge it. He still considered it, though, because he was only human.

"No, I'm not really in the mood," he admitted. He didn't have to see Phil's face clearly to know that he was doing the inscrutable thing again, probably trying not to look disappointed. "I'll suck you off, if you want."

"Not if you're not in the mood, idiot," said Phil. Maybe Dan shouldn't have been surprised by that.

"No?"

"No," said Phil, and his tone brooked no further arguments. He allowed Dan to pull him back into a cuddle. "Stupid. You wanna play Sonic after this?"

"I'm not really paying attention to the movie," said Dan.

He felt Phil's smile against his jaw in the split second before Phil kissed it. "I know. But I want to see how it ends."

\--

At some point after Phil started snoring, sprawled out on his stomach on his side of the bed, Dan made a decision.

He was counting the glow-in-the-dark stars on Phil's ceiling and making his own constellations out of them, certain that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he made up his mind. 

The way he saw it, he had two options here. He could stop this train in its tracks before it came to an inevitable fiery collision, or he could deal with the fallout when it was over. Now that he'd started having sex with Phil, he was reluctant to stop. Especially in their current situation, where Dan couldn't get that energy out from letting a stranger at a party push him to his knees. He felt like he was on the precipice of something - a roller coaster, maybe, but it also might just be a cliff.

He was mixing metaphors again. That happened, once the night hit a certain point and Dan was alone with his thoughts for too long. He started thinking way too much about how to turn his emotions into something like poetry and stopped thinking about the actual problem at hand.

So, he had two options here. Stop having sex with Phil to save himself the effort of keeping his emotions in tight check, or keep having sex with Phil and actually have a good time for the next couple weeks.

The room was unbelievably dark now. It was close to dawn, with how late they'd stayed up and how early the sun rose in early summer, but Dan still couldn't bring himself to close his eyes and shut his brain back off. If he were at home, he'd be pacing around the room and talking out loud to help himself figure it out.

Phil made a snuffling sort of noise in his sleep and then rolled further into Dan. It couldn't be called cuddling, because Phil asleep was just a tangle of lead limbs and drool, but the solid warmth of his body against Dan's side was as grounding as it had been on the sofa. Dan exhaled. Phil did, too, as though he were mimicking Dan's noises unconsciously. 

Dan knew that he was smiling now. Nobody had to point it out to him, alright, he was aware.

Over the course of his life, Dan had made a lot of truly fucking horrendous decisions. Every step of the way with Valerie had been one mistake after another, just digging himself deeper and deeper into something that didn't work for either of them. He'd shot his mouth off to the wrong people so many times that he still froze when someone touched his shirt collars. He didn't even want to start on the decisions he'd made in order to keep peace in his family, even though none of them had given a toss if he'd been happy.

There wasn't a clear path in either of the options. Dan couldn't see the future or anything, he didn't even know for sure that there'd be consequences. It just seemed like anything as good as having Phil fall apart under him had to come with some emotional terms and conditions.

Phil nuzzled into his chest just then, and Dan fought back a laugh at how needy he was in sleep. Dan wriggled an arm out from between them and wrapped it around Phil, pulling him even closer. The noise that Phil made in response was so hilariously content that Dan just shook his head at the ceiling.

He had two options here, but there was only one of them that he actually wanted to do. He'd deal with the terms and conditions _after_ Phil had set him free of this ridiculous obligation. He would probably have a bunch of emotional shit to unpack after a fake breakup, anyway.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, far too soft to actually wake Phil up. The man could sleep like the dead when he wanted to. Sure enough, Phil didn't stir. "I've got you, dummy."

In response, Phil snored into his ear. Dan closed his eyes and tried his best to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to everybody helping me out w this, including you, reading this right now!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's sunday in MY timezone. hope you guys like this one! ♥
> 
> see you on sunday!

Dan knew that he should go home. There were a lot of things he should do, really, but sleeping in his own bed was a good start. It made sense to start putting some distance between them so that, in a couple of weeks, their friends weren't surprised when the relationship doesn't work out for them. The last thing Dan would need on top of a fake breakup was for people to ask him a ton of questions about it. He thought that the 'I told you so's would probably be easier to handle, as annoying as they'd be. 

Still, Dan found himself back on Phil's sofa after work. Nothing had been stopping him from going home instead, and it would have been smarter to, but Dan didn't _want_ to. He wanted to be with Phil.

And wasn't that just the fucking cherry on top of the mess of his life right now. He knew that there wasn't anything serious going on with his feelings. It was just from the proximity, from having Phil kiss him hello and goodnight, from the remnants of the crush he'd had last year.

The sofa cushions had been discarded to the floor so that there was room for both of them to lie down on it while they watched a movie. Dan was slotted, nice and snug, between Phil's body and the firm back of the sofa. Phil was toying with his fingers again, tapping out a rhythm with them on his own chest, and Dan's heart was doing funny little cartwheels.

It was just the forced closeness, he reminded himself. He wasn't sure how much longer he could make himself believe that.

"Do you think he's fit?" Phil asked, the low rumble of sleepiness getting more and more familiar to Dan. It would have been nice if the exposure to Phil in the early mornings and in the wee hours of the night would have actually built up Dan's resistance to it, but no luck. If anything, the opposite was true - the more that Dan associated that voice with cuddling and bad films and orgasms, the more affected he was by it.

"Which one of them?" Dan hummed. He was barely paying attention, because the explosions were the main appeal of this film, but he'd been present enough to know that there were a disproportionate number of men on screen.

"Fucking," said Phil, as if it just occurred to him that he didn't know anybody's names, "the, er, captain."

"Oh, I don't think he's fit."

"Why's that?" Phil asked. Dan couldn't see much of his face, only propped up enough to see the screen as he was, but he could hear the smile in his voice.

They'd talked about hot guys enough times that Phil ought to already know the answer to that. Dan was more than happy to answer it anyway, because repeating conversations with Phil never managed to get annoying. Phil had a way of making him laugh every single time he told the same story, just from adding exaggerated details or the expressions on his face. "I don't like blondes. You know that."

"You don't trust blondes," Phil corrected. Dan didn't think it was a very important distinction, but the fact that Phil seemed to think it was important made him huff a laugh into Phil's neck. "Right?"

"Right. It's like you know me."

Phil made a low, rumbling sort of noise that reminded Dan of a cat purring. He pressed his smile at the thought into Phil's skin.

"Yeah, I bet you like the other guy."

"Which other guy, Phil? There's literally like twelve men to keep track of in this movie."

"The one," said Phil, gesturing with their linked hands at the screen. "You know, the one! The guy!"

Dan laughed. "I don't, actually. The scarily jacked one?"

Playing this sort of game with Phil was fun, because Phil always got so genuinely flustered when he was misunderstood. Sure enough, he started huffing and tapping hard at the back of Dan's arm like hitting Dan a bit would send his thoughts telepathically. "Noooo, the one with the - he's got, like, a beard." 

"Oh, _that_ other guy," Dan laughed. Phil snorted and slapped at him again. "I dunno. I mean, yeah, he's fit. They all are, they're paid to look better than us mere mortals."

"I don't know," Phil said thoughtfully. "I don't like beards much, they're all itchy."

Dan hadn't hooked up with anyone who had more than messy stubble, so he could only shrug against Phil's back. "If you say so. Isn't that kind of the appeal for some people, though? Ollie's mentioned beard burn like it's a good thing."

"I guess," said Phil, but he sounded doubtful.

"I never would have thought about you as being picky," said Dan. "Figured you were easy, like me."

"Oh, well, I'm definitely still easy," Phil said, turning his face to grin at Dan. His hair was a mess and his eyes were so vibrant behind his glasses that Dan could have lost his train of thought in a heartbeat if Phil weren't saying something interesting enough to pay attention to. "I guess I don't mind kissing a guy who's got a beard, that's not so bad, but it's a lot less fun when his face is between your legs. I've got sensitive skin, Danny."

The gymnastic routine in Dan's chest picked up speed and complexity. For a moment, he couldn't even find words. He shook off the feeling as best as he could. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that would be uncomfortable."

"I'm sure some people still like that," said Phil. "I'm sure some people like anything."

"You're telling me," Dan snorted. He probably could have - should have - let the conversation drop there. But he kept getting tripped up on the mental image of Phil squirming in a mixture of pleasure and discomfort while some faceless bearded guy ate him out, and he wanted to even the playing field a little bit. So he said, as conversationally as possible, "I pulled a girl, before I moved here, who wanted me to just, like, be a total dick to her. She wanted me to make fun of her and act like a fuckboy."

"Act like?" Phil's voice was faux innocent, but his eyes were focused. There was something intense and interested in them that had never used to be there whenever they'd swapped stories before. Dan wondered if Phil had just been better at hiding it. He pushed the thought down as soon as it made itself known.

He couldn't think like that. He couldn't get himself twisted up in wondering if Phil ever wanted him before they got tangled together. He'd never know the answer, and he'd never be able to stop wondering if he let himself start.

What he could do was focus on the way Phil was looking at him right now. Phil's pretty, pink tongue peeked out to wet his lips, and Dan forced himself to focus.

"Yeah," Dan said, but he'd already forgotten what he was agreeing to.

Phil smiled. His lower lip was a little shiny, now, and his eyes were dark. He moved impossibly closer, pressing Dan further into the back of the sofa. His fingers tightened around Dan's hand. But then he hesitated, the uncertainty almost palpable. Dan didn't get a chance to ask what the problem was. After a short beat, Phil murmured, "Are you still, um, not in the mood?"

Oh. Dan's heart constricted.

It had been a really long time since he'd had sex with someone that he trusted the way he trusted Phil. Okay, he'd _never_ had sex with someone he trusted like that. He didn't often feel uncomfortable or pressured or anything like that anymore, since sex happened on his own terms now that he lived far away from everyone he used to know, but that wasn't the only thing that mattered. Hooking up with strangers meant that he could say no, of course, but that he'd also have to go home if he did.

The difference was almost startling. He knew that he could say that he wasn't in the mood. Phil would just shrug and pull Dan's arm back around him so that they could finish watching the movie, and then they'd tangle together under Phil's duvet later, and Phil would still kiss him goodnight.

Dan trusted that. He trusted Phil. It made all his indecision seem silly, really.

"No," said Dan, quiet. He pressed his palm to Phil's abdomen. "No, I'm not still not in the mood."

Phil's brow furrowed adorably for a second, and then he rolled his eyes. Double negatives always tripped Phil up in the same way that trying to remember character names did.

"You're an idiot," said Phil.

"I never said _I_ was into the mean act," Dan grinned, dropping his lips to Phil's shoulder. "I'm not going to get hard if you insult me."

"I think you'll get hard no matter what I say to you, but whatever," Phil grumbled, good-natured about it.

That was probably true, but Dan wasn't going to admit it.

"Don't be mean," Dan teased. He slid his hand further down Phil's front, brushing his thumb against the sliver of skin exposed by Phil's shirt. Phil shivered, just a bit, and Dan smiled against his shoulder. "I'm pretty sure I can't physically grow a beard, so I think I'd feel just fine between your legs."

Phil giggled, but he still slid his glasses off and put them safely aside before twisting his upper half around to connect his mouth to Dan's. A noise escaped from the open-mouthed kiss, but Dan wasn't sure which one of them made it. He stretched his hand out, searching blindly, before cupping Phil through his pyjama pants.

It was kind of nice to feel Phil growing harder under his palm. Dan nipped at Phil's lower lip and squeezed his dick through the thin fabric, swallowing the breathy little noises that Phil couldn't seem to stop himself from making.

"D'you want that?" Dan murmured, lips still brushing Phil's between the words. "Your sensitive thighs wrapped around my head? I could just suck you off if you're not feeling it."

"Shut up," said Phil. "You're gonna act like you don't know what kind of effect you have when you say stuff like that?"

"I want you to tell me," said Dan. He gave Phil's dick the best stroke he could through his pyjamas. Phil's eyes fluttered. They were still so blue and so full of interest, but the intense focus had faded with Phil's glasses being tossed to the coffee table. Dan didn't know exactly how bad his eyes were, but he figured that Phil's lack of clear eyesight was just as much to blame as his horniness. "You know you have to use your words with me, Phil."

Phil's face pinked a little bit, but he raised his chin almost defiantly. "Fine, you dickhead," he said, "I want your tongue inside me. Is that better?"

A rush went through Dan's whole body at the words. He nodded, attaching his mouth to Phil's jaw and sucking a mark there as he untied Phil's pyjamas. Phil arched into his touch, but there wasn't anywhere that either of them could really go. The sofa was too small for rolling around and fighting for the upper hand. And surely Phil wouldn't still let Dan get him off if Dan knocked him onto the floor.

"You're so," Dan started, but he didn't let himself finish. Anything that he said right now would sound too sincere, would give away way too much, and Dan couldn't handle that. Instead, he wiggled out of his little cavern and sat up on his knees.

Phil didn't seem to care how the sentence ended. He shoved his own pants down his pale thighs, letting Dan pull them off the rest of the way. Dan discarded his own shirt on the floor with them and the couch cushions, but he grabbed Phil's shirt before it joined the pile.

"What is it?" Phil asked, seemingly unbothered by being basically naked in the middle of his lounge. He still had his socks on, but Dan didn't bother trying to take those off. Phil got grumpy when he got cold.

"I could go get a towel instead if you want," said Dan. "Just figured you wouldn't want to clean the couch."

The way Phil laughed until he snorted was so endearing that Dan had to bury his face in Phil's hip and bite down, just to get that aggression out _somewhere_. Phil's hips jerked, his dick bumping against Dan's collarbone.

"Okay, yeah," said Phil. He laughed again, breathy this time, and tangled his fingers into Dan's hair. "Mm. I like this better when it's curly."

"It looks stupid, though," said Dan.

"Feels nicer to hold on to," Phil countered, tugging at Dan's hair as though to make a point.

"I've never had any complaints about my regular style," Dan huffed, biting at Phil's thigh for good measure. The muscles in Phil's leg jumped and then tensed, but he didn't tell Dan to stop. Dan couldn't resist digging in a little deeper. "And I've had a lot of people pulling my hair."

"Yeah, that's because it's hard to complain when you look so into it."

"That's not stopping you."

"Nothing stops me from complaining, Dan. You really should know that about me by now."

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help smiling into Phil's thigh. It didn't make any goddamn sense that he was able to be so adorable when Dan was this close to his boner. He patted the back of Phil's hand, and the grip on his hair loosened until he could pull back. He didn't think that Phil could see his expression properly from there, but Phil's lips still curved like he _knew_. "You wanna get comfortable for me, then?"

Maybe it would be easier to go to Phil's bedroom, but there was something especially hot about watching Phil spread out in a new place. Phil laid down on his front, face buried in the pillow they'd been sharing. His t-shirt was protecting the couch upholstery from his dick - or the other way around, maybe - and one of his long legs slipped from the sofa to brace on the carpet. Dan took a moment to just look Phil over, naked from the ankles up, and found himself transfixed by the constellations of freckles and moles on his pale skin.

He must have been staring for a bit too long, because Phil wiggled pointedly. "Aren't you supposed to be doing something, Dan?"

"Impatient," Dan teased. He sank to the floor, settling comfortably on his knees, and tugged at Phil's thigh. They were somehow too lanky for this and just lanky enough for it to work. "You let a lot of guys do this to you?"

"Probably the same number of guys _you_ let pull your hair," Phil retorted, playful. Dan pinched his ass lightly and laughed when Phil's whole body jerked.

"I don't," Dan said, not sure why he felt the need to share. "I don't like being so vulnerable with strangers."

Before Phil could say anything in response, Dan spread his cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to his hole. The words in Phil's throat came out strangled, like gibberish, and Dan would have laughed if it wasn't also hot. Phil was wonderfully responsive to this in general, making muffled noises into his pillow when Dan licked around him, inside him, and pushing his hips up as best as he could whenever Dan pulled back. He came alive and needy under Dan's lips and tongue, and the noise he made when Dan licked his balls went right to Dan's cock.

Dan pressed his palm against his own dick through his sweats, relieving a bit of the pressure building. He couldn't keep it there, because he wanted to use both hands to keep Phil spread open, but the quick touch helped.

Phil's muscles tensed when Dan pushed his tongue deeper. Dan couldn't tell if it was a good or bad reaction right away, because Phil had stiffened like Medusa had turned him to fucking stone, but then a full-body shudder went through him. Phil rocked his hips down, rubbing his dick against the couch, and curses spilled from his mouth.

As soon as Phil relaxed again, limbs jellified, Dan scrambled up and turned Phil over. The ruined t-shirt got thrown onto their laundry pile and Dan drank in Phil's appearance greedily. Phil's eyes were glazed over and his face was flushed, pillow lines in his cheeks, and he grinned goofily up at Dan.

Dan's heart flipped over, his stomach constricted, and he shoved his sweats down his thighs just enough to get his dick out. Phil made grabby hands at his shoulders and pulled him down into a wet, lazy kiss. Dan could have wrapped a hand around himself, but it felt so good to have his cock pressed against Phil's soft abdomen that all he did was rub himself against it. Phil made humming noises of encouragement, a hand tangled in Dan's hair again. The other was cupping Dan's ass, although he didn't remember Phil putting it there. Phil was pulling him into a rhythm and sucking on his tongue and Dan was in no way going to last.

That didn't seem to matter. Phil was murmuring absolute nonsense into the warm space between their mouths while Dan ground into his tummy.

It was almost better than Phil sucking him off with purpose had felt. This, humping against Phil's naked body while Phil grew soft against his hip, felt horny in a comfortable sort of way. Dan's head was going foggy with it, the pleasure and the comfort and the knowledge that he was only allowed to have this for such a short amount of time.

The build was steady, and Dan didn't try to hold back from coming all over Phil's stomach. He buried his face in Phil's neck as he did, biting down harder than he'd meant to, and Phil made those sympathetic hushing noises again. Like he was talking to an animal. And Dan wasn't much better than one, really, fucking against any part of Phil that he was allowed to until he was shuddering and getting his teeth involved. The come-down was a lot slower. Dan's body felt like it was thrumming long after he'd stopped moving his hips.

"I'm hungry," Phil said after a little while, and Dan laughed.

"You wanna eat out?" he joked. 

Phil rolled him onto the floor with zero remorse. It didn't hurt, but Dan acted like it did until Phil reluctantly agreed to pay for pizza.

He was getting a bit too used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reading all of your reactions is honestly keeping me going right now ♥ i hope you continue reading and enjoying and telling me what's working for you! and your theories are always SO fun to hear. also, ofc, thanks to puddle and chicken and andrea for being so supportive and motivational! this wouldn't exist without you guys.
> 
> reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/622135465271754752/slutville-population-two-chapter-fourteen)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone - if you don't follow my tumblr then you might be wondering where i've been, but i basically just took a two week break while i got used to working again. now i'm back and more excited than ever! the total number of chapters has been updated, so we're in the home stretch now! 
> 
> see you next sunday!
> 
> content warning for this chapter: dan makes a joke about trusting some people not to harm him for being gay, and unrelatedly tells a short story about unsafe asphyxiation practice. neither are dwelled on, but just as a heads up.

Dan loved his friends. Spending time with any combination of their little group was his favourite way to spend any day, really.

He reminded himself of that when Michelle held up another necklace and Jaya hummed uncertainly at it. He loved his friends, no matter how much he wanted to be out of this particular situation. He'd gone with Jaya to Michelle's so that they could pick her up and go to the cinema, but as soon as they'd arrived, Michelle had started rambling about a date she had in a few days and asking for opinions on everything from what bra she should wear to what shade of red to put on her lips.

Normally, Dan didn't mind hanging out with the girls. He didn't know anything about makeup, and Michelle hated his fashion sense, but listening to them banter was usually fun. Dan just felt disconnected from them right now.

There was so much going on in Dan's mind, but it all came back to Phil. Phil grumpy in the morning before his coffee, Phil spread out on the sofa, Phil asking if he was a good boyfriend. Phil, Phil, Phil. He supposed he could say that he couldn't stop thinking about Phil, but he wouldn't be able to tell his friends the truth. It would, instead, just sound like he was fucking mooning over his boyfriend.

"What d'you think, Dan?" Michelle was asking, but Dan's mind was somewhere else entirely.

"Er, the black," he said vaguely.

He was attuned to the situation enough to see Michelle and Jaya exchange amused looks. Too late, Dan realised that Michelle was holding a gold hoop against one ear and a silver against the other.

"Don't think I have black," Michelle teased. Jaya laughed. Dan felt like he was going to itch out of his own skin.

"I'm gonna get some water," said Dan. He needed to get out of this room for a few minutes, needed to center himself before being faced with a whole night of this. His friends didn't seem bothered by him leaving. He wondered if they were still making fun of him after the door closed behind him.

Dan shook himself. He hated when he was uncertain about something big in his life, because all it managed to do was pull in doubt from all the dark corners of his brain.

Doubts like, what if his friends didn't actually like him? Should he have finished school? What if he'd never amount to anything? Would his parents ring him on his birthday? Could Phil ever want him in the way that he was desperate to have but could never ask for?

They were all swirling around Dan's head as he went downstairs, making for a cacophony of noise and uncertainty that made him completely oblivious to the fact that the kitchen wasn't empty.

"Oh," he said, blinking at Chuck. "You're here."

Chuck blinked right back at him. Somehow, he managed to make a single, necessary twitch of his eyelids seem derisive. "I live here."

Most of the lights in the kitchen were off, and Chuck was eating cereal at the breakfast bar by lamplight. His hair was mussed and his eyes were more sunken into his face than usual, like he'd gone the whole night without sleeping. His pale skin had a warm undertone to it - or maybe that was just the lamp - but he otherwise looked like the walking dead.

Dan didn't have anything against Michelle's brother, but he knew that Chuck had never been a fan of him. He'd never really bothered to figure out why, because Dan knew that he had any number of qualities that turned people off from him, but he had a suspicion that his close friendship with Phil hadn't helped matters. And now that he was supposedly dating Phil, somehow got the elusive, noncommittal idiot to settle down... well. Dan knew that he'd be pretty fucking bitter in Chuck's shoes, so it wasn't as though he could blame him.

"I forgot," Dan admitted. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard to fill with water, and he could feel Chuck's eyes on him. "I don't mean you shouldn't, or whatever, I just forgot that other people in general live here."

"Well, for now I do," said Chuck. There was something in his voice like wistfulness, like he couldn't wait to leave. 

More than ever before, Dan saw himself in the guy across the island counter. It hadn’t been all that long ago that Dan had been in those shoes. He so clearly remembered being eighteen and how desperate he'd been to escape from his dreary, oppressive life. Chuck might have had it better in some ways - his mum and sister loved him, his house was a bit bigger, he had never needed to hide away in a padlocked closet - but that didn't mean he wasn't feeling the same weight on his shoulders that Dan used to.

Michelle was so sure that Chuck had been affected beyond repair by Phil's inability to commit, and suddenly Dan couldn't bear not knowing for sure. As awkward a conversation as it would be to have, he found himself blurting, "Did he hurt you?"

The question clearly wasn't something Chuck had been expecting. His thick eyebrows furrowed into hard, angular sort of lines. He might have looked angry if Dan weren't familiar with the way he and Michelle expressed confusion. 

"Hurt me?" Chuck asked, bewildered.

"Like, emotionally," said Dan. He considered dropping the topic, but he couldn't handle _wondering_. There was so much in his life that he was wondering right now. Having the opportunity to get an answer for something was too tantalizing to leave alone. "Michelle thinks you were, like, torn up. And that Phil shouldn't have done it."

"I think Michelle needs to learn the intricacies of minding her own fucking business," Chuck said dryly. He crossed his arms over his chest in an uncomfortable, defensive sort of move. "I dunno. He didn't, like, do anything wrong. I mean, I knew what I was doing."

Dan had never met a bruise that he hadn't felt the instinctive urge to prod at. "Did you?"

He expected Chuck to get irritated with him or stomp off or something, but instead Chuck just laughed. There wasn't all that much humour in it.

"Have you ever liked a guy who treated you like a kid for so fucking long," said Chuck, "that you were just, like, over the fucking moon when he realised you weren't one?"

Dan scratched his neck, shifting his gaze away from Chuck for a fraction of a second. It was long enough. When he looked back, Chuck's expression had turned to something shrewd and darkly amused. In the low, warm light, his brown eyes seemed almost black. 

"Yeah," said Chuck. "That's what I thought."

"So you just," Dan said, waving his hand around in a futile attempt at jogging the words from his mind. He didn't want to sound condescending. 

"Got my hopes up?" Chuck guessed. Dan winced at the sarcastic edge in his voice, but nodded. Chuck sounded a lot more genuine when he continued. "Yeah. I knew what he was like, and he wasn't leading me on or anything, but you still can't help... hoping, I guess. Like, maybe it'll be different this time. Maybe he'll change his mind for me."

There was something in Dan's throat, making it harder to swallow. "Yeah," he said, quiet. "I get it. I really, really get it."

For the first time, Chuck's mouth curved into a smile. "No you don't. Because he did change his mind for you, mate. No matter how long you were fucking pining for or whatever, you've got that going for you, at least. It _was_ different for you."

It wasn't. Phil hadn't. But Chuck didn't know that, and Dan didn't feel like getting into the whole mess with someone who didn't even like him. So he shrugged, trying his best to act sheepish about it.

"Er, right."

"Whatever," said Chuck. He stood up, taking his cereal bowl with him. "Nice pull, Howell."

Before Dan could think of anything to say in response to the words or to the return of Chuck's bitter tone, Chuck was gone. 

\--

"I talked to Chuck."

Up until the sudden statement, Dan's bedroom had been quiet. Phil was already in pyjamas and squinting at his phone, which he was holding right up to his nose. His glasses were on the chipped stool, on Dan's side of the bed, and he'd clearly decided that asking for Dan to pass them over was too much effort. Phil put his phone aside and squinted a bit up at Dan instead. His expression was different than what Dan had been preparing for; Dan had expected confusion, defensiveness, irritation. The guilt, maybe, that occasionally showed itself when Michelle got to him too much. In actuality, Phil only looked curious.

"About what?" Phil asked, but he didn't give Dan a chance to answer. "About me, right?"

"No, Phil, we talked about our shared interest in music festivals and the colour black," Dan deadpanned. Phil gave him a lazy little grin and nudged Dan's arm with his forehead like a cat. "Obviously we talked about you."

"That must have been a bit weird," said Phil.

"It was, a bit," said Dan. He pushed Phil's fringe out of his eyes. The way Phil hummed when he did it made Dan's chest hurt. He kept idly stroking Phil's hair, somehow still surprised by how soft it was. Benefits to having naturally straight hair, he supposed. Less products, less damage from the iron. Not that Dan was jealous or anything. "But I ran into him and it just kinda... happened. I think he hates me even more now that you're allegedly dating me."

Since Phil was eternally optimistic when it came to his friends getting along, Dan thought he'd refute the statement.

Instead, Phil shrugged. "Probably."

"I got his side of it," said Dan, "and I don't think Michelle is being very fair to you."

"No," said Phil. "But I don't actually blame her. And, honestly, it doesn't really bother me anymore. She can think whatever she wants about me, I've done what I can to explain myself. It hurt a bit more at the beginning."

"Why'd you stop treating him like a kid?" Dan couldn't help asking, using Chuck's own words. Prodding at the bruise again, seeing how much he could get away with before someone swatted at him.

"Well, he stopped being one," Phil said dryly. "I don't mean, like, he turned a certain age and my brain switched on. It was gradual, the whole maturing thing, and I swear he acted more like an adult than Michelle or I ever did at his age. Probably more than we do now, to be honest."

Dan made an encouraging sort of noise to help Phil keep talking, but he didn't trust himself to speak. 

It was hard not to wonder if Phil ever saw Dan that way. Last year he'd been just an underfed, exhausted idiot who'd clearly had no idea what he was doing in a place like uni. He wondered if he'd proved himself yet. He wondered how he compared to Chuck on that maturity scale of Phil's. Dan had never really been able to turn off the side of him that wanted to know how he stacked up against everyone else.

Phil didn't seem to notice that Dan's mind was somewhere else, back in the library that had somehow changed his life. 

"So we all started treating him more like a peer or something," said Phil, pushing gently into Dan's touch. "Jaya bought weed from him and Ollie was happy to hit on any friends he brought round, but I guess everybody thought that I was the one who took it too far."

"Why did you?" Dan couldn't help himself. Phil shrugged.

"We were drunk and he was pretty," Phil said. There was something dry in his tone, like he was trying for irony but wasn't quite hitting the mark. "And I trusted him. So he ticked all the boxes."

"You trust him?" Dan asked, hoping to any higher power that might decide to exist that his jealousy at the idea wasn't obvious. "Like, the way you trust us?"

That was the first thing to make Phil pause. He didn't hesitate when answering all of Dan's prodding questions, but interrogating him on the concept of trust seemed to have brought him up short. Dan was about to apologise and change the subject when Phil started gesturing.

He moved his hands around a couple of seconds before he actually started talking. Dan felt a pang of something like fondness.

"No, not the same way," said Phil, at last. "I don't know that I trust any two people the exact same way, to be honest. There's a lot of different things I trust people for. To give me a lift, to see my flat when it's messy, to understand me, to fuck without getting any hopes up, to do weird sex stuff safely, to care about me, to not out me, to -"

"I don't get that," Dan interrupted. He had a feeling that Phil could have gone on forever, listing off trust levels that Dan couldn't be certain he'd cleared yet.

Phil wasn't offended. If anything, he was well used to Dan speaking over him. "Why?"

"Because," said Dan, "I either trust you or I don't. There's not, like, fucking clearance levels. It's all or nothing."

"All or nothing," Phil repeated. He shook his head. "I couldn't do that. I've got to have the clearance levels. Like, I can't fuck someone without some kind of trust and understanding there - I thought you knew that."

Dan had sort of known that. He'd always assumed that Phil just gave away trust a lot more freely than Dan did. Somehow, it hadn't occurred to him that Phil bothered keeping up so many guards to people he called friends. It sounded like it would be confusing and annoying and maybe even lonely, but whatever. They had always known how to disagree.

"Guess I just didn't see the way you were doing it," said Dan. 

"So you don't trust the guys who bring you home," Phil noted, his brow furrowed in a way that looked far too much like concern for Dan's liking. "At all."

"I mean, I trust them not to kill me for being bent or whatever," said Dan, rubbing his thumb over the crease between Phil's eyebrows. "So if that counts as a clearance level, I guess I've got one."

"I don't think it _should_ be a level we have to count, but I know it has to be."

"Yeah. Like, you said something about weird sex stuff -" Dan waggled his eyebrows to try and make Phil laugh, but all he got was a small, indulgent smile. "But I don't know that I've ever particularly trusted any specific partners with kinky shit. If I'm in the mood for it, I just ask whoever I'm with."

"And how many times has that backfired?" Phil asked shrewdly. A small, argumentative part of Dan wanted to go on the defensive and lie, claim that his methods had been working fine, thanks ever so, but there was no real reason to do so. He trusted Phil, after all. Trusted him completely, with everything, with all of him. That was something he'd been taking for granted as reciprocal up until now.

"A few," Dan admitted. "Worst offense was asking someone to choke me when they didn't know what the fuck they were doing. My throat hurt for, like, two whole days, and I didn't even know how dangerous it was until I Googled it after."

Phil's eyes dropped to Dan's neck, looking it over like he might still be able to see the bruises if he inspected close enough.

"That was pretty stupid," said Phil. "But I guess we've all done that kind of stupid shit."

"What did you trust Chuck with?" Dan asked. When Phil's eyebrows raised, he felt himself blushing. "I don't mean - I don't want details, fuck, I just meant, did you really trust him not to expect more from you after hooking up?"

"Yeah," Phil said easily. "He's known me for so long and we talked about it beforehand, I knew he wasn't going to end up hurt."

If they weren't best friends, Dan might have let him believe that. It would certainly be easier, less uncomfortable for him, but he couldn't let Phil stay oblivious to his own impact. Not when Dan could still feel Chuck's words reverberating around his head. 

"You were wrong," Dan said, as gentle as he knew how to be. "He doesn't, like, hold a grudge or anything, and he doesn't blame you, so there's no need to go running and apologising to Michelle, but. Yeah. He was hurt, Phil."

From the expression on Phil's face, Dan might as well have slapped him. 

"I didn't know that," said Phil. He was quiet, and he rolled onto his back so that he wasn't looking at Dan anymore. Dan followed, not about to let him get away that easy.

Dan almost aggressively cuddled up against Phil's side, pressing a kiss to the side of Phil's head as he did so. Phil didn't pull away again, but he also didn't participate in the snuggle.

"I know," said Dan. "And Chuck knows, too. It's just... hard, when you like someone that much for that long and you finally get to have part of them. You can't help but want all of them, y'know? No matter how much your logical brain tells you otherwise."

"Yeah," Phil said, that same note of sincerity in his voice that Dan had recognised in himself when he was talking to Chuck. "Yeah, I know the feeling."

Dan's heart started its gymnastics routine again.

"You do?" he asked, swallowing hard. 

"Yeah," Phil said again. Dan waited, somewhat impatiently, for Phil to expand on that. But Phil's mind was somewhere else entirely. "I really had no idea. I never wanted to hurt anyone, Dan."

"I get it," said Dan, because he did. He gave up on trying to wheedle more information out of Phil and focused on reassuring him instead. Phil probably didn't mean anyone in _this_ room. He was probably just thinking about some old crush of his from York or something. It was pretty self-centered of Dan to think that it might have been about him. "It's okay, Phil. You can talk to him if you want to, but he's... y'know. Kind of a dick."

That made Phil laugh. Dan pressed a smiling kiss to his bare shoulder, and Phil's body shook with a shiver at the sensation. 

"He's not a dick," said Phil, but he was smiling now.

"Why don't you stop thinking about him and how guilty you feel," Dan suggested, toying with the drawstring of Phil's pyjama trousers, "and talk to me about some of the weird sex stuff you'd trust me with, instead? Assuming I've cleared that level, that is."

"I don't have any caveats for you, Dan," said Phil. His smile was so warm and his hands were wandering, too, over Dan's nipple rings with purpose. "You're someone I just... trust. All or nothing, right?"

"All or nothing," Dan repeated, his throat tight with suppressed emotion.

"You trust me, too?"

Dan blinked. It seemed like such a stupid question, but maybe Phil had doubts of his own playing bumper cars in his brain. "Obviously. Obviously, yes, bub, I trust you. You're, like, the first person I trusted properly."

There was something ridiculously vulnerable and surprised in Phil's eyes, considering the way he'd started feeling Dan up through the soft material of his pants. His touch paused, and he shook his head like he didn't quite believe it. Like Dan was giving him something absolutely precious instead of just trust.

"Really?" Phil asked, quiet. A little awed.

"Duh," said Dan. He put his hand over Phil's and squeezed, reminding him that he'd been initiating something here. "You gonna do something with that hand, mate?"

"Oh, right," Phil said, glancing down at their hands as though he didn't remember groping at Dan's dick. Maybe he didn't - Dan had no idea how much of Phil's wandering hands was subconscious, after all. "I was planning on getting you off."

"And you aren't worried about _me_ getting my hopes up?" Dan half-joked. He hoped that without his glasses, Phil wouldn't be able to read his expression as well as he usually could. "You must trust me not to, if you've got no caveats for me."

Phil grinned. "Dan, you getting your hopes up and expecting more from this doesn't worry me in the slightest."

What did that mean? Did Phil mean that he trusted Dan to understand what this was? That, as a fellow slut, he knew Dan could keep emotion out of it? Or did he mean something else, something that had Dan's heart doing backflips again? Phil's hand slipped into Dan's pants then, though, and Dan let the question fall to the wayside for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to everyone reading along, telling me what you think, motivating me to keep writing! it's been such a pleasure to write this fic with such a supportive audience ♥ and ofc, thank you to chicken and puddle and andrea for hanging out in my gdocs rent-free. ily guys


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll save all my emotional stuff for next week and just say thank you for now ♥
> 
> see you next sunday for the epilogue!

Things with Phil were getting weird.

Dan had been psyching himself up for the end of this fake relationship ever since it began, reminding himself of the inevitability every time his heart or dick betrayed him, and the end was in sight now. It sucked, but he wasn't exactly surprised by the month coming to a close. He knew that they had to come up with a plan so that they had their stories straight and nobody got painted as a villain.

And he'd love to talk to Phil about it, if Phil would just _let_ him.

He was familiar with the way that Phil ducked and dodged around things that made him uncomfortable, but this was getting ridiculous. It was equal parts funny and exasperating to bring something up only for Phil to pretend like the topic didn't exist at all.

When there had still been a week to go before their deadline, Dan had said, "We should give each other's stuff back. I don't really need a whole drawer as your buddy."

"I need a shower," Phil had responded, as if he hadn't heard Dan speak. While he gathered towels and clean clothes, Phil chattered on about how much nicer his own shower was to Dan's until he'd gotten safely out of the room without even acknowledging Dan's suggestion. Dan, torn between a strong desire to laugh and to throw something at Phil's head, had ended up getting distracted by a conspiracy theory rabbithole.

The next time Dan had brought it up was a couple of days later, when he had Phil red-faced and pinned to the mattress. He hadn't meant to talk about it just then, but the idea of giving this up entirely had felt too horrible to think about for too long. So he'd said, "We can probably still fuck when we're just friends."

"What?" Phil asked, clearly distracted by Dan's tongue on one of his nipples.

"I mean, not right away," said Dan. "That would just look sad. But we can keep the benefits as exes."

Phil's expression had shuttered in a way that Dan would have questioned, except that Phil tangled his fingers into Dan's hair and started pushing him down pointedly. Dan had figured, okay, he wasn't going to complain about getting Phil's dick in his mouth, and they'd talk about this later anyway. He should have remembered that Phil didn't fight fair.

By the time Phil had stopped coaxing orgasms out of him, Dan hadn't been able to think about anything at all.

Still, time wasn't stopping just because Phil seemed determined not to think about it. There were only two nights left now, and it felt like something heavy was settling on Dan's chest the longer that he didn't acknowledge that.

"Hey," Dan said into the quiet of his bedroom. Phil was busy digging for a shirt in Dan's drawers, but Dan figured it would be better to say something when he was distracted. "Phil."

"Mm?"

"We really need to figure out how and why we're breaking up."

Dan wasn't sure what he expected Phil to do. Decide he was taking a shower, maybe, or that he needed a snack, or that he suddenly needed to suck Dan off, something like that. Dan was prepared for that sort of thing, ready to stubbornly put his foot down about any further attempts to procrastinate this.

But Phil didn't say or do any of that. He simply pulled a shirt on over his head and then, like it was a perfectly normal way to react, walked out of Dan's room without a word.

Dan was waiting on his own bed for Phil to come back now, wondering if he should be laughing or shaking Phil's shoulders. They barely had any time left on their agreement, and Phil's inability to have a genuine conversation about negative stuff was coming back to bite them pretty hard. He wouldn't be surprised if Phil went home, honestly, but his phone and contact lenses were both still safely on Dan's stool, so Phil wouldn't get very far before he came back with his tail between his legs. Dan opened a mindless game on his own phone. As stupid as this was, he wasn't about to chase Phil through the flat.

Before he managed to beat the level, his door opened again. Phil had his hair pushed off the sides of his face in preparation for bed, glasses crookedly perched on his nose, threadbare pyjamas that Dan had worn as a teenager, and a sheepish expression. He closed the door behind him and sat at the foot of Dan's mattress like it would collapse if he put his full weight on it.

"Okay," said Phil, "that was a little immature."

"You ran away and hid for like half an hour," said Dan, lips twitching despite himself. "What were you even doing? Crouching in the kitchen?"

"Organised your spices," Phil muttered. Dan couldn't hold back his bark of laughter even if he wanted to, and Phil's shoulders relaxed forward at the sudden sound.

Dan put his phone beside Phil's on the chipped stool and sat up further. His hands subconsciously reached out to Phil, but they landed kind of awkwardly on the expanse of bed between them. "What's the problem?"

"I don't want to talk about this," said Phil, gesturing vaguely.

"Yeah, I fucking noticed," Dan laughed. "But it's not exactly optional, mate. This is your first breakup, isn't it?"

It was. Dan already knew that, and Phil knew that he knew that. But Dan still asked, because that was what you did when you had a flight case in your bedroom. You asked easy questions until they met you halfway. Phil seemed to pick up on what he was doing immediately, but he still nodded. Because, well, that was what you did when you _were_ a flight case and couldn't actually escape the difficult conversation. 

"I'm not really looking forward to it," Phil said it like a confession. His glasses were in danger of falling further down his nose, but he was too busy staring a hole into Dan's sheets to notice.

"Well, nobody likes them," said Dan.

"Tell me how they usually go?"

"I've only done it the once, y'know, but whatever. We say our relationship isn't working and then we say why, usually, so that nobody's laying awake at night wondering, and then maybe one of us cries. After that, we say we'll be friends, but it'll actually take us a few months to be normal again."

"I don't like any of that," Phil said quietly. "I don't want to do that."

"You kind of have to," said Dan, as gentle as he knew how to be. It felt ridiculous to be coaching Phil through fake breaking up with his fake boyfriend, and not least because Dan had figured _he'd_ be the one sulking about it. "I guess we could go the dramatic blowup route, but that would just ruin our whole friend group and personal dynamic and it's just not really worth it in the end. As fun as it sounds to throw a drink at you..."

Phil's lips curved into a proper smile, but he still wasn't looking at Dan. "You can throw one for fun, if it'll make you feel better."

"What's gonna make you feel better, Phil?"

A long stretch of silence followed that question. Dan had to bite his tongue to stop himself from filling it with jokes or reassurances or general prattle, because Phil seemed to be actually thinking it over.

"What would make me feel better," said Phil. Quiet, slow, deliberate. He pushed his glasses up his nose and shrugged. "I dunno. I think it's gonna suck no matter what. People don't exactly talk about breakups like they're fun, right? Seems like it hurts a fucking lot."

"That's for real breakups," Dan pointed out.

Phil's eyes met his own, just for a second. "Close enough, isn't it?"

Dan wanted to say no. That they'd been totally responsible with this stupid, tequila-inspired challenge, that there were no feelings involved, that it wouldn't hurt either of them to break off something that wasn't real to begin with.

But he couldn't. He hadn't expected Phil to voice it - he'd figured that they'd just never acknowledge it and move on with their lives - and now he had no idea what to say at all.

"Er," he said eloquently. An awkward silence followed when it became obvious that Dan didn't have anything else ready.

"Have you thought about," Phil said, and then shook his head. He started over. "I mean, is there any possibility that we could just... not?"

"Just not what?" Dan bleated. He felt like he was having an out of body experience, watching a stranger have this conversation with his best friend while everything that he'd pushed down all this time came bubbling to the surface.

"Just not," Phil repeated, like it was a full sentence. He picked at some lint or something. Dan wasn't in control of his own body, but he wouldn't have bothered checking to see what Phil was picking at if he was. He would be too busy reminding himself to breathe. "Like... we could just not break up."

Dan bit his lip. "I… okay. My answer depends on why you're asking."

That seemed to take Phil off guard. He finally looked at Dan, properly looked, and Dan wondered why his eyes were so round with surprise. Had he expected a quick yes? A quick no? For Dan to decide it was time to take a shower so that they could put this conversation off even longer? 

Dan's bedroom had never felt so quiet. He could probably hear a pin drop if his heart weren't pounding in his ears.

"What do you mean?" Phil finally asked.

"I mean," said Dan, and promptly ran out of courage. Now _he_ was staring at his sheets. Part of his scattered brain was wondering when he'd last washed them. The rest of him was tied up in the realization that he couldn't hide this from Phil anymore.

He had to say it. He owed Phil that much, didn't he? 

A few tense seconds later, Dan swallowed. "I mean, it fucking depends, doesn't it. I _mean_ , do you just like being in a relationship? Are you avoiding the breakup part? Or is it something about me specifically?"

"Kinda all of the above," said Phil. He sounded apologetic about it, for some reason. The mattress shifted, and Phil's hand found one of Dan's. Tentatively, Phil squeezed it.

"Do you want a generic boyfriend?" Dan asked, and he wondered if Phil could hear the desperate note in his voice. "Or do you want me, Phil?"

"Oh," Phil laughed. The sound was so incongruous to Dan's emotional state that he couldn't keep his eyes away from Phil any longer. Phil smiled at him, eyes crinkled and tongue twisted, and Dan wondered if Phil had any fucking idea of how much more effective that was than the sharp smirk he used when he was pulling guys at parties. Phil raised their joined hands, pressing his lips to Dan's knuckles. He did it slow enough that Dan could have taken his hand back, if he'd wanted to.

Obviously, he didn't want to.

"Yeah?"

Dan winced. His voice breaking wasn't exactly sexy. Phil just kept grinning at him.

"Yeah," said Phil. "I thought - honestly, Dan, I thought you knew. I was getting so bad at hiding it."

"You kept running away from me," Dan laughed. The weight of his feelings and indecision had finally lifted, and he felt giddy with the sensation of being _wanted_. Wanted, by Phil, for real. "How was I supposed to know what that meant? You idiot. What were you even trying to accomplish?"

Phil shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with Dan calling him names. "I kind of thought we could just... let it happen. Without making it a whole thing. I figured you'd give up on trying to talk about it and, like, go with the flow."

"You idiot," Dan said again. His cheeks hurt. Oh, right, he must be smiling like a fucking idiot. He hoped that Phil wouldn't blame him for that. "You absolute fucking buffoon. In an upside down world that might have actually worked, but it turns out I don't just _let_ things happen to me. I guess I never _really_ stopped liking you, though."

"Yeah," Phil said, some of the familiar smirk finding its way into his smile. "I know."

With an offended squawk at the smugness, Dan tackled Phil into the mattress. They rolled around for a little while, shoving their fingers into each other's ribs and making each other laugh, and at one point Phil crashed their grins together in something far too toothy to be called a kiss. It was annoyingly perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge thanks to all the usual suspects and to you (yes, you) for sticking with this story! let me know your thoughts, please, and vote on who you think made the worst decisions in the past 16 chapters. i'll see you next week for the final chapter, which is an epilogue of sorts. ily!!!!!


	17. postscript

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did it! thank you so much for coming with me on this journey. ♥

"I'm really proud of you both and I'm rooting for you and everything," Ollie was saying, leaning back against Dan's kitchen counter, "but _if_ you're unhappy and planning to break up, I'm just saying that tonight would be a great night for it."

Dan hid a smile behind the rim of his glass. "Tonight? During game night? On our anniversary? Yeah, that's a great night for it."

"Exactly," said Ollie.

"Don't listen to him," Jaya's voice called from the lounge. Dan and Ollie both jolted a little bit in surprise, since neither of them had thought their friends were bothering to listen in. "He's trying to win a bet, Dan."

"You bet that Phil and I wouldn't make it a year," Dan said dryly.

Without a shred of remorse, Ollie laughed. "Yeah, well, that was when you first told us the two of you were serious. You can't really blame me for thinking it wasn't going to last."

"I'm hurt," Dan deadpanned.

The oven timer went off, sparing Dan from hearing more about his friend's lack of faith in his relationship. Justified as Ollie's prediction might have been, had Dan not insisted on having an actual conversation with Phil, it still made him want to cuff Ollie round the head. He and Ollie got the snack trays out with only a couple more jabs before rejoining their friends in the lounge.

Dan had worked so hard to get the flat to a point where he could be excited to have people visit, and it hadn't been easy keeping it in such a state. It was so much easier to half-tidy or to leave out something like dusting for way too long, but now that he and Jaya were the official, exclusive hosts of game night, Dan took some pride in how comfortable they'd made the place. There were actual photos on the walls now, photos of the five of them and Jaya's old school friends and, most recently, one of the new Howell family dog. They'd invested in a second sofa, something that Jaya called a loveseat, that was hideously patterned but extremely cozy. It had been a very long argument over whether or not that trade-off was worth it.

In the end, Dan had lost. He'd learned to live with the ugly loveseat over the months. It helped that Phil had liked it so much. He didn't technically live here, but he might as well. His opinion still counted.

Phil was sprawled out across it now, actually, trying to beat Michelle at Mario Kart and complaining loudly about his controller being defective. Dan spread their snacks out over the coffee table and sat on the floor so that he could be as close to the nachos as possible. Phil nudged him with a socked foot in greeting, but didn't bother looking away from the screen.

"You winning?" Dan asked, even though he could clearly see the rankings. Phil kicked him a bit harder.

"Shut up, you twat," Phil said without any real heat.

"Seventh is embarrassing."

"Your mum's embarrassing."

"Your face is -"

"And you're sure you don't want to give this up as a bad job?" Ollie asked cheerfully. "At midnight I owe Jaya money, y'know, and it just doesn't seem worth it when you're fighting so much."

Dan laughed despite himself. "Olls, you know it doesn't mean anything. We aren't breaking up just so you can keep a tenner."

"I bet thirty," Ollie mumbled.

"That's on you."

A mozzarella stick got thrown at Dan's head. He tried to catch it in his mouth, but Ollie's aim wasn't great.

"A whole year is better than any of us really expected," Michelle chimed in, happily chucking a green shell behind her. Phil swore loudly. "I mean, I bet a month, max."

Dan caught Phil's eye for a fraction of a second before they each looked away, grinning. They hadn't bothered telling anyone about the challenge, because it didn't really change anything, and at this point it would invite far too many cooks into the kitchen of their relationship.

"Glad to hear you all have such faith in us," said Phil.

"Well, we do _now_ ," Michelle huffed. "How were we supposed to know you'd get your shit together just from fucking at a party?"

"Hey, we didn't fuck _at_ the party," said Dan. He felt that was an important distinction.

"Not that specific party, anyway," said Phil.

"I'm going to kill you," Dan informed him. "If the humiliation from getting lapped by Baby Mario isn't enough to do it."

They kept bickering until Michelle won the round. Then, games and trash talking were both put on hold for everyone to shovel their face with various snacks. Jaya put on a modern classic of a movie, and the derisive comments turned towards sparkling vampires instead of Dan and Phil's relationship. Phil sat up properly on the sofa, legs settling on either side of Dan's shoulders, so that it was easier for him to reach the food. When nobody was paying attention to them, he kissed the top of Dan's head.

Dan smiled into his drink. The tequila in it was clinging to his tongue in a way that the soda wasn't, and Dan found himself savouring the taste. He owed a lot to tequila, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a humongous thank you to chicken, andrea, and puddle for cheerleading and betaing this monster, and to jude and cat for doing the same for half of it. i appreciate you all so much, and this fic wouldn't exist without you!
> 
> speaking of people slutville wouldn't exist without: thank YOU! readers and commenters are the backbone of fic writing, and you're all the reason that i wanted to do something different and fun for a few months. i hope that you enjoy the ending, and that you have fun theorizing with any unanswered questions i might have left for you. you're all so amazing! thank you!


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